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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shop came while WFH

267 replies

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 13:55

I realise this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing about but interested in opinions of whose in the wrong here.

A orders the food shop to come 10-11am. B is working at home at that time. A expects to be home by 10 but ends up running late by 15 minutes. The shop arrives at 10am and B has to take it in and put the frozen things away. A puts the rest away. A says they would have messaged B that the shop was coming but normally this supermarket sends a text 15 mins before they arrive and they didn't this time. B thinks A was inconsiderate not to let them know the shop might come before they were home.

A and B are now in a stand off as B won't let it go until A apologises for being inconsiderate and A doesn't accept that they were inconsiderate.

YABU - A is in the worng
YANBU - B is in the wrong

If you can't tell we're both extremely stubborn.

OP posts:

TigerQueenie · 20/10/2023 14:03

You're both idiots. It's a mild inconvenience, not exactly the end of the world. It must have taken a couple of minutes to bring the shopping in and put the freezer stuff away.

You need to communicate better in your relationship.

sprigatito · 20/10/2023 14:03

Depends. Does B feel that A generally disrespects B's time when WFH and doesn't see it as "working" in the way they would if it were WOH?

overwhelmed2023 · 20/10/2023 14:04

Seems minor to have such a stand off about. Yes it's best to be home yourself if you made the order or hand it over to your partner/ spouse.
But it's a small interruption unless on Teams or Zoom when it would be disruptive.
Guessing it's the principal?? 😂 in which case ask your partner to be more organised and respect your time.

Mrsjayy · 20/10/2023 14:04

What an absolute carry on over a supermarket shop jeezo.A&B need to stop being so melodramatic!

ThirdDressStress · 20/10/2023 14:05

I think we need to know if B was on a call/in a meeting before we can really judge. If not then whilst annoying it's not the end of the world. If they were then I can see why they are annoyed.

Original poster

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 14:06

B was not on a call. They're busy at work but in a normal amount of work way.

OP posts:

Stephisaur · 20/10/2023 14:06

What a nothingy argument.

B had to answer the door to a delivery, as they would any time they are home alone.

Knowing that A was expected back imminently, frozen stuff could have been left.

My food shop comes at all sorts of inconvenient times (despite my best efforts!) and the fridge/freezer stuff is sometimes left for 30-60 minutes before it goes away. Never an issue.

bathrobeandpie · 20/10/2023 14:07

Bit weird not to tell B the shop wasn't due to be delivered that day, and definitively wrong not to tell them when A left the house.

It's not a huge deal, but it's annoying when you are working and were not expecting disruption.

B could have just as well ignored the door bell if B was in a meeting or finishing a report, then A would have complained.

JesusHRooseveltChristAgain · 20/10/2023 14:07

Terrifyingface · 20/10/2023 13:57

B is being a knob.

Yep!
It's a mountain out of a molehill

PercyMcPigface · 20/10/2023 14:09

As a one off, and if B wasn't on a call, then it's just one of those things and they are over reacting. But how often does A rely on B to do things because they are working from home? If this is just one of many times they are having to pick things up then I could understand why they have got irritated.

BungleandGeorge · 20/10/2023 14:09

I think the issue is that B was meant to be at work and most people can’t randomly leave work to get the shopping in. A also ordered the shopping at a time convenient to them and then didn’t bother being there and hadn’t told B that shopping may arrive- so yes A is in the wrong and should just apologise and then get on with their day! B didn’t actually need to put the freezer items away though- most peoples freezer goods spend time in their trolly and then a journey home so they would have been fine left until a returned!

Annasoror · 20/10/2023 14:10

B is being an arse.

AuroraForever · 20/10/2023 14:12

Ridiculous and pointless. Thought you booked timed delivery slots when shopping online? Book delivery for the evening or at weekends not during work times.

Superscientist · 20/10/2023 14:12

Most weeks I get a food shop whilst WFH.
It takes about 5-10 minutes to bring everything in and put the crucial things in the fridge and freezer. The rest gets dealt with over lunch or at the end of the day and I take the time out of my lunch break.

But. It is me that organises the shop and makes sure that it is at a convenient time for my working day. I would have very minor annoyance if my partner has sorted a shop out and left me to deal with it without being forewarned that I might need to sort the shop out. Nothing that could be resolved with a sorry and a nice cup of tea!

WonderingAboutBabies · 20/10/2023 14:13

I realise this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing about - this is the point at which you stop.

Mrsjayy · 20/10/2023 14:15

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 14:06

B was not on a call. They're busy at work but in a normal amount of work way.

I mean I get B was working but they were right there in the house is it really such a massive deal !

HighlighterPenPot · 20/10/2023 14:16

This happens a lot in our house. Normally just goes like this-

"Thanks for taking the shopping in when I was running late"
"You're welcome"

A quick thanks from A is quite enough. If B is making it into a big deal, they're being a dick.

PenguinRainbows · 20/10/2023 14:17

B is in the wrong and needs to apologise.

bathrobeandpie · 20/10/2023 14:17

Mrsjayy · 20/10/2023 14:15

I mean I get B was working but they were right there in the house is it really such a massive deal !

Show quote history

being interrupted without warning when you planned to work in peace in your own home?

It's not a huge deal, but it's inconvenient. Many people wouldn't even bother to open the door in this scenario.

Nanny0gg · 20/10/2023 14:19

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 14:06

B was not on a call. They're busy at work but in a normal amount of work way.

Was it really the End of All Things?

B needs to just accept it was a bit inconvenient and Let It Go

PurpleBugz · 20/10/2023 14:19

My initial thoughts are A should have told B but B is overreacting. My opinion may change if B has a job where leaving a meeting like that would be very unprofessional. I had a remote appointment with an educational psychologist about my son once and she interrupted the call to sign for her car being returned and her daughter interrupted twice too. It did not make me feel positive about her

SwearyBetty · 20/10/2023 14:19

Does B have a VERY IMPORTANT job and should under no circumstance be disturbed by trivial stuff??

Tell B to sort out the shopping next time.

Original poster

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 14:19

So I'm A and im going to apologise now. I can see that i should have let B know beforehand (and like i said, i would have if id got the text).

I think whats difficult here is that I think B overreacted and thats whats made me dig my heels in about saying sorry i wasnt home/didnt let you know. We end up in these stubborn stand offs where neither of us wants to back down over what we both know is a very minor issue.

OP posts:

PurpleBugz · 20/10/2023 14:20

Just seen B not in a meeting. So yeah B overreaction

Original poster

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 14:21

For all the people saying about Bs important job, they regularly take in parcels, do chores in breaks while wfh (as do I).

OP posts:

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