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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked a mum where she got her kids coat from. Mine turns up in the same one. Aitah?

321 replies

Sophie1029734 · 20/10/2023 09:03

Hi all so they are in nursery. I saw a little girl in their class with a gorges coat on, I asked where it was from and she tells me. Its not a known site, quite a unique coat and stands out a lot. Anyway I got it for lo with no intention of my little girl wearing it to school, was just when we went shopping etc as I didn't want to take the light away from something she found.

I've been telling my little girl it's broke or dirty which is why she can't wear it to school. We were in a rush this morning and I turn round and she has put it on and trying to zip it up, saying she wants to be the same and look like a ballerina too. I pretended I couldn't zip it up and that it was broken then said let's put this one on instead. She just started to cry and refused to take it off, I was already late as it is and couldn't keep fighting her with it so we just left and I took her to school with it on.

The whole way I felt so guilty and sad like I stole something, I felt so wrong for it.

I won't put it on her again for school, I'll hide it from now on unless we go anywhere else but to the school.

But I'm so nervous, I didn't see the woman this morning at drop off but I may at pick up. I feel so guilty omg.

OP posts:
BIWI · 20/10/2023 09:04

This is a very silly thing to get upset about. I really don't think it matters if your daughter is wearing the same coat as another child.

PenguinRainbows · 20/10/2023 09:04

Why are you lying to your daughter? It’s not “broke” or “dirty”.

You just tell her it’s a coat you don’t wear to nursery. No need to lie Confused

Plumful · 20/10/2023 09:06

Get a grip!!!!

pilates · 20/10/2023 09:06

Just tell her it’s for special occasions.

Lamelie · 20/10/2023 09:06

If someone asked me where a coat came from I’d fully expect their child to turn up in it!
You’re massively overthinking this. Do make sure it’s labelled though! Wink

Sophie1029734 · 20/10/2023 09:07

It's because the other girls wears the same and qouldnt make sense sense say she can't when she can

OP posts:
SerpentEndBench · 20/10/2023 09:07

I don't like how AITA has been imported from elsewhere but in this instance, yes you are and weird to boot.

Spinet · 20/10/2023 09:08

If I was the mum I wouldn't think anything at all of this. In fact I would think it was cute. If it was my unusual coat I might think you were a psycho bit it's not is it.

Terfosaurus · 20/10/2023 09:08

SerpentEndBench · 20/10/2023 09:07

I don't like how AITA has been imported from elsewhere but in this instance, yes you are and weird to boot.

I agree.

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 20/10/2023 09:09

You are being incredibly weird by lying to your daughter for absolutely no reason.
It's a coat, get a grip.

Sophie1029734 · 20/10/2023 09:09

I overly worry about upsetting people and think a bit too hard about things, thanks for basicly saying it's dumb. It's honest but but perspective on how insignificant it is

OP posts:
x2boys · 20/10/2023 09:09

Its a coat 🙄🙄

modgepodge · 20/10/2023 09:10

I always had 2 coats, a cheap/hand me down for nursery which I accepted might get muddy etc and a nicer one for weekends. So I don’t think what you did was even that unusual!! No one owns a particular coat style that’s sold to the public anyway, and this woman isn’t even a friend of yours so I wouldn’t worry what she thinks.

Conkersinautumn · 20/10/2023 09:10

Yes yabu. Noone really expects to have totally unique clothes for their child unless they're making them. When someone has asked me I've tended to assume they'd be getting one for someone.

KimberleyClark · 20/10/2023 09:10

If she’d gone to school in it the other child’s mum would be posting on here AIBU to be upset because another mum asked me where I got my child’s coat from and now her DD has exactly the same one?

LuluLemony · 20/10/2023 09:11

I'm so confused. Why wouldn't you let her wear it? If it's available to buy online or in shops then it's not exclusive to that one child at school. None of the would've crossed my mind and I've asked lots of people/friends "oh your child's dress/coat/whatever is gorgeous, where's it from?" And then gone and bought it. It wouldn't then occur to me not to wear it around the person who I first saw it on!

funinthesun19 · 20/10/2023 09:11

You care more about what that other mum thinks than what your dd thinks. It should be the other way around.

TeamSleep · 20/10/2023 09:12

Don’t worry OP, I’d take it as a compliment if the same happened to me so I’m sure the other mum won’t mind.

Dacadactyl · 20/10/2023 09:12

Wtf? Is this a serious post?

Get a grip OP. This is such a non event and I can't nelieve you weren't letting her wear it to school to begin with.

If this other mum is normal and well adjusted she won't think anything of it at all.

Noorandapples · 20/10/2023 09:14

If the other mum made it herself and you took it that would be stealing. This is not that, she happily told you where to buy it, she'll fully be expecting to see your daughter wearing it and she'll give her a smile because it's just a coat and she's a small child. In future try to put your daughter's happiness above your own anxiety.

PinkLemons99 · 20/10/2023 09:15

AITAH?
More irritating Reddit nonsense. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sophie1029734 · 20/10/2023 09:15

Thanks. I think with the replies I relise how insignificant it is and I do feel it's cute as they are friends too but was overly worried about upsetting anyone.
I have pleasing tendencies from trauma and complex ptsd so sometimes I don't relise when I'm being too much of an over thinker so i'm glad ppl are being like.. this is dumb

OP posts:
LauraFlex · 20/10/2023 09:16

Yawn

Clarinet1 · 20/10/2023 09:18

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!

BlueKaftan · 20/10/2023 09:19

If you were that worried about upsetting someone you wouldn’t have bought the coat.