Asked a mum where she got her kids coat from. Mine turns up in the same one. Aitah?

[Sophie1029734]

Hi all so they are in nursery. I saw a little girl in their class with a gorges coat on, I asked where it was from and she tells me. Its not a known site, quite a unique coat and stands out a lot. Anyway I got it for lo with no intention of my little girl wearing it to school, was just when we went shopping etc as I didn't want to take the light away from something she found.

I've been telling my little girl it's broke or dirty which is why she can't wear it to school. We were in a rush this morning and I turn round and she has put it on and trying to zip it up, saying she wants to be the same and look like a ballerina too. I pretended I couldn't zip it up and that it was broken then said let's put this one on instead. She just started to cry and refused to take it off, I was already late as it is and couldn't keep fighting her with it so we just left and I took her to school with it on.

The whole way I felt so guilty and sad like I stole something, I felt so wrong for it.

I won't put it on her again for school, I'll hide it from now on unless we go anywhere else but to the school.

But I'm so nervous, I didn't see the woman this morning at drop off but I may at pick up. I feel so guilty omg.

Yes I'm glad it's been pointed out, I'll let her wear it to school now and stop worrying about it.

1. Label the coat. As a teacher I've known parents claim the scruffy/ dirty coat is not their child's (when it is)

1. Don't lie to your child. If you don't want her to wear it to nursery because it's new or whatever, just say so. Children need to trust their parents.

1. Don't ask someone where they bought their child's clothing if you're too afraid it will insult them if you buy the same thing. (Generally it won't but some people are weird).

Its not really the same extent as that, its just the coat.

If someone had asked me where I bought something and then bought their dc one, I’d take it as a compliment that I have good taste!
I do get the overthinking thing, but sometimes a coat is just a coat

Get a grip op.
Someone asked where my DDs jacket was from, they put their kid in same one a week later. I couldn't care less I thought their kid looks just as lovely.
Work on this tendency to please. Don't make a decision if you're not capable of owning it

I agree. Your priorities are skewed.

You’re trying to keep up appearances at the expense of your daughter- tricking her into buying into your charade.

My advice- allow your dd to wear her coat.

Mention to the school mum that you and dd loved the coat- thank her for telling you where to buy one. Joke about putting her name in the label.

That’s it. Not complicated 🙂

Agree- CBT can be really helpful if you struggle to navigate social situations or tend to catastrophise x

Can we have a link to the coat? Might solve your problem if you start a trend and every kid in the nursery gets one!

It doesn’t need to make sense.

”We don’t wear this coat to nursery.”

That’s all you needed to say. Don’t lie to your daughter.

Can we see the coat ? Might get one for dd 😂

Stop worrying OP, the other Mother doesn't own the rights to the coat, it's a free country!

I mean this is literally how fashion works; imitation of a look.

The other mum didn’t invent the coat!

You arsehole 🤣

Surely you must have considered that its not worth all this hassle and lying for one coat before you got it? If you are that anxious about upsetting ppl and care what others think so much then I have no idea why you bought it in the first place.

Let’s see the coat

Please dont lie to your child, she can understand that some clothes are for nursery and some are not

And what is the problem?
Just label it clearly to avoid confusion. Why did you buy it after asking if you are so sensitive?

Here to see the coat

can you post a link?
I would like to get one of these coats too, but I also hope you are alright.

I frequently ask other people about their clothes if I like it and then buy it and wear it.
Who cares if they see it, they don’t have a licence to it!

What on earth is wrong with two of them wearing the same coat? (As long as you’ve labelled it with her name, obviously).
But if they’re doing anything potentially mucky like Forest School, I’d certainly stick to the old one.

Seriously, it’s absolutely nothing to get in a tizz about at all.

Could you link the coat? I'm intrigued

The only 'fall out' I can see coming from this is that the coats get mixed up which is easily solved by putting her name in it.

I would be exactly the same.

It's a very distinctive coat.

I don't think that mum would be too happy if you tracked it down.

Nike adidas river island etc everyone wears.

I too realise I sound daft but I understand how you feel.

OP anxiety is horrible, and this is what this feeling is. Posters being actual arseholes just enjoy 'speaking as they find', which is known in other context just as being a rude fucker.

Anxiety is horrible and the school/ nursery gates can really trigger it. the fact of war in Israel does nothing to assuage this. Quite the reverse in fact as generalised anxiety can come out in funny ways.

Please stop lying to your daughter so easily and so casually. She knows you’re lying, and is confused and upset by it. She will pick up this trait and later on in life you’ll be frustrated at how easily she lies to you about really trivial things. It will be because she’s learnt it from you.