Asked a mum where she got her kids coat from. Mine turns up in the same one. Aitah?

[Sophie1029734]

Hi all so they are in nursery. I saw a little girl in their class with a gorges coat on, I asked where it was from and she tells me. Its not a known site, quite a unique coat and stands out a lot. Anyway I got it for lo with no intention of my little girl wearing it to school, was just when we went shopping etc as I didn't want to take the light away from something she found.

I've been telling my little girl it's broke or dirty which is why she can't wear it to school. We were in a rush this morning and I turn round and she has put it on and trying to zip it up, saying she wants to be the same and look like a ballerina too. I pretended I couldn't zip it up and that it was broken then said let's put this one on instead. She just started to cry and refused to take it off, I was already late as it is and couldn't keep fighting her with it so we just left and I took her to school with it on.

The whole way I felt so guilty and sad like I stole something, I felt so wrong for it.

I won't put it on her again for school, I'll hide it from now on unless we go anywhere else but to the school.

But I'm so nervous, I didn't see the woman this morning at drop off but I may at pick up. I feel so guilty omg.

I can’t help but think the way a lot of people have replied to this is very unreasonable.
OP has admitted to being an over thinker. Over thinkers think too much about everything. Yes they’re obviously going to think about the important shit in the world, but they’re also going to think far too much about the little things. It’s what it is. You can’t pick and choose what you’re going to be bothered about!!
A little empathy wouldn’t go amiss and the instant judgement/ name calling (how many times have I seen weird?!) could do with stopping.
Its quite easy to let OP know that she doesn’t need to worry and there is basically no issue here, without making her feel ridiculous!

Yeah it would be lovely if all replies were tactful and empathetic.

However this is social media. I never quite understand why posters come on AIBU and lay themselves wide open as an easy target for abuse. Particularly if you are sensitive and overly anxious about peoples opinions.

Many posters will also assume the thread is a wind up and reply in the spirit of it being entertainment. People are cynical these days and let’s face it many threads on AIBU are made up.

Even if as the other mum you were asked ‘I really like your dd’s coat, where did you get it?’ And you responded with ‘thanks, it’s from x shop’ you really wouldn’t then expect that person to go and buy the coat 😂🤦🏽‍♀️ also just to explain how shops work…they have multiple of the same item on display for many people to buy….lots of people can see said item and buy them even without asking where it’s from. But in this case, mum asked where it was from and told where it was from, only and idiot wouldn’t then be expecting that mum to go and buy said coat imo.

You say this - I asked mums in my baby class where they got their shoes from. Already 3 had the same pair (in different colours) and I bought some 😂 I always feel a bit weird turning up but they are so comfortable - definitely busy mum shoes!

What is wrong with you? Do you think the mum will judge you for copying her? Stop putting your weird views on your child.

Its a coat .. if she didn’t want you to get it she would have said it was a gift or she saw it on Vinted or something.

Telling your daughter all those weird lies is so odd.

If the OP is an over thinker yet still went and asked then brought the coat knowing she was gonna be in this position to the point of making a thread about it being so anxious then WHY go and buy it.

Firstly, what on earth is wrong with telling your Daughter the coat is not her going to nursey coat? Lying to the one person who looks to you for the truth is awful.

Secondly, it's a non issue, it really is. . I can guarantee noone will care if your child has the same coat.

Behaving like this does more harm than good.

Your reaction to this scenario is the batshit crazy thing here and the thing to be embarrassed about NOT your Dd wearing that coat to school! So what will you do when they all wear the same uniform and you buy same uniform as other kids or their shoes happen to be from the same place and are the same etc. I get it's a unique ish piece op but it's a coat why would the other mum care if anything she'll be happy thinking he style selection got brownie points from you.

If I was that other parent I’d presume you were asking because your child seen the coat and liked it and wanted it. If the other parent said anything about it, I’d just reply why did you think I was asking where you got it? I’d try discourage my kid from wearing it if it’s something difficult to find as that usually means it’s expensive and I wouldn’t want it going to nursery, but I wouldn’t let it cause a meltdown or tantrum. Even take the coat away after drop off and have another to leave at nursery meaning there’s no choice to wear the expensive one when you pick up.

So you’d rather lie, hurt and upset your child, to protect the “feelings” of some woman you don’t even know?
it’s not like she made it herself and you stole it from her garden.
if she didn’t want you to buy it, she would’ve probably said “it was a gift..”

really though? You put your kid through all that…for what? And feeling guilty about upsetting a stranger. Priorities darling.

Its a coat.... unless you actually stole it you need need calm down.

I didn’t come here about the coat but sorry to say, your approach. Tell your daughter the truth - you cannot wear it to nursery. End of. Your lies are what’s causing the tears because she knows it’s not broken. Be a parent; tell her no! Tears and trauma will not be caused by you being a parent.

I just wanted to say that I think that you are a lovely, sensitive and caring person .
We could do with more people like you on this Planet X

@Mememooo come on now, dramatic much? "lie, hurt and upset" her by telling her DD she can't wear something to nursery?! It's not going to do any harm. My DD would wear a pink tutu everyday if I didn't say no, sometimes she doesn't like it and she definitely does not understand why it's not always appropriate and sometimes she gets upset over it, it's not damaging to tell your child no and all these people claiming to never tell white lies to their kids because it's easier on them and you, i'm actually surprised. I told my daughter she wouldn't like my biscuit earlier because it had nuts in-it didn't, she'd had her own biscuits and I'd already said no for that reason and it was not deterring her, she wasn't interested in it with nuts in, end of discussion, no drama. Many of the people telling OP to get a grip and that she's being ridiculous about this non issue are also being OTT about the "damaging" white lies she's told to discourage her daughter from wearing the coat.

The ironic thing about this post is OP gatekeeping the coat from the many people asking where it’s from it to link it 😂

OP doesn’t want anyone to copy HER 😅

Wtaf? I'm part of the problem? Lol - she just asked a question and got pounced on my literally dozens and dozens of people, which was complete overkill! It's not about prioritisation, it's about being diplomatic.

...

I love the nuts in it one! I tell mine that my food is spicy and then have to pretend it is for a few bites till they loose interest 🤣

I think you should focus more on not upsetting your daughter rather than some random stranger at school.

Grow up

It doesn't matter at all that your child has the same coat as another child. Let her wear the coat, just make sure it's labelled so it doesn't get mixed up! Seriously it's totally fine and the mum won't care at all or even think twice about it.