Friend's non stop 11+ brag

[Moonsago]

I have a friend and she is ok most of the time. Her son is a super bright child and everyone knows it. I am fine and I like the child.
So the 11+ results of her son are out ( I am waiting for my daughter's and she is average flower but she tried her best and I am fine with whatever it turn up). Now my friend calls me 3 time a day and says 'called just to chat' ( mind you she hasnt called me once to chat in last 7-8 months when they had 3 tutors training the kid).

Everytime... its goes from 'So I am so confused that all the grammars in the country that we attempted want my son badly and I dont know whom to choose... he is just a boy'... then ' I will send you all the emails that I got from schools begging to put my son in theirs'...

This has been going on since last week... I am tired. I am happy for proud parents for all the effort kids put and I am one of them. But these calls are too much to handle. I never called anyone like this ( when my son got into a grammar)nor did any other friends of mine who all got their kids into grammar or any one else too for that matter!

How do I escape this lady?

Don't worry, *TheYearOfSmallThings. That post is nonsense.

There's no need to block, that's far too dramatic for something as boring from her as this. Just don't answer the call! That gives the point fine.

State grammars. Not private.

Just don't answer the phone to her. She'll get the message.

It sounds like she's talking shit. Might be different in different counties but there's the 11 plus system in Bucks and it can still be a bunfight to get your kid into a school even if they passed, depending on the catchment area. The amount they pass by is completely irrelevant. I've never heard of state schools competing to take a child because they're so brilliant, and I don't believe that's a thing.

A swift

"Not to be funny but to be honest I don't give a toss !"

Is in order me thinks , or hand her your mobile and tell her to call some who cares

I have a friend a bit like this - tends to have a slightly obsessive topic of conversation but doesn’t think about her audience at all, to the point of being crashingly insensitive. She’s also very generous and the kind of person who would be the first to help you out in a crisis.

What’s she like aside from this?

My dc went to a comp which still retained the word Grammar in its name.
A work colleague whose dc went to a comp in another town was properly annoyed that my dc could write grammar school on their uni application .

don't cut her out but make yourself "busy" for a while - if you see her number calling, don't answer. There are a million excuses you can come up with for why you are busy. Maybe just speak like twice a week if ou can bear that? three times a day is so excessive. Not worth losing the friendship over though - it's probably the best thing that's ever happened to her and she's so overexcited she can't see sense.

That's hilarious!

Ladies you are all so fab and diverse in your thoughts.. I love it! 🤩 and the funny ones making my day better 😂.

I will give her a break we both deserve. I have gotten my daughters results just now, she qualified but not sure she will be placed... but she is a july born silly girl who put all her effort in, proud of her 😎.

Just out of interest, where do you live?

We have 2 state grammars here, a boys’ and a girls’, and competition for places is extremely fierce. People move to the area purely because of the schools.
From experience, albeit many years ago, you simply got a letter offering a place, and if you declined, as some always do because their child also has won a place at a competitive-entry independent school, the offer would go to the next child on the waiting list - which was compiled purely according to 11 plus scores.

but she is a july born silly girl not the greatest accolade 😁well done her for putting in her best efforts!

Less sought after, not very academic schools may well be very keen to take more or less any child whose parents can afford the fees. I dare say the CoL crisis has resulted in numbers falling for some of them.

I honestly don’t believe that any school begs, certainly not any state grammar. But I dare say they send a very nice letter saying how pleased they would be to accept your child, how they’re sure they’ll be happy and do well there, etc. etc.

Except in Edinburgh, though I know it's all about which private school you went to, rather than grammars.

I went to a state grammar school at 11, I wasn't tutored. The ones who came in at sixth form level had been to private schools that only went up to 16.

I don't suppose Boarding school.was free....

Also, the reason why some private schools have grammar in their name is because they were state grammar schools but then became private in the 70s. Examples include Reigate Grammar School.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Trafford. The letters are just those standard letters just as you describe, that they send out to all that got the qualifying mark.

I don't suppose Boarding school was free

no, and even the state ones charge boarding fees

Just hang on for a while. There will soon be a call or message explaining why she’s not sending him to the grammar. Maybe she’s going private or home educating, or she’s decided to go against the system and send him the non-grammar school.

Just so long as you know this is nothing to do with his results, of course.

How do I escape this lady?

Seriously? Well you could just not answer the phone.

That’s not true, 11+ is the normal entry route. Children who have been tutored for it haven’t passed on their own merits, but those who have just sat it without studying/being tutored of course have got in on their own merits.

This doesn't seem right for state or private.

State don't confirm places until the spring. If you pass the 11+ you're told that and then you can list that school on the application form.

And (admittedly only in my experience here in London) most private selective schools won't even have sat the pre-test yet, let alone the second stage tests.

So I can't see where any begging would be coming from?

properly bright kids who passed on their own merits only enter Grammars after GCSE, not for 11+

@JustAMinutePleass this is total rubbish.

Yeah much better to farm them out to boarding school than put up with parental competitiveness and angst. Bet you are not competitive at at "Let's just say I had the last laugh!"