To ask to see DS doing a wee?

[PleasedToBeAFlower]

Does anyone out there have experience of boys unable to aim or direct their flow of urine??
My 12 year old DS cannot manage to aim in to the toilet bowl. Every time he has a wee, it goes all over the toilet lid and seat (which he has lifted up, obviously), all over the back of the hinges of the seat, down the sides of the toilet and sprays all over the floor!!!
What is going on?!
This is a new thing.
Never used to happen as a younger boy.
We've really talked to him about this as it's making the bathroom smell of urine, and we've had to throw out 2 fabric baskets that sat next to the toilet holding loo rolls, because they got entrenched in his wee and smelt of urine despite being washed.
DS is actually really embarrassed about it, he panics when it happens and is often seen wiping it all up off the floor with tissue after going to toilet, looking mortified if we see him.
He has said he hates it but that his wee 'squirts up everywhere' and he says he tries really hard but cannot control the aim.
DH gets really annoyed about it because we are forever scrubbing the toilet and floor. He's talked to him about positioning, aim, holding himself correctly, etc. DS says he does all that but the wee literally squirts up and out all over the place.
We've asked him to sit down on the toilet seat when he has a wee, but he says he can't because it hurts to push his penis down enough to stop the wee squirting on to the seat.
I feel I need to watch him have a wee so I can see what's happening but is this unreasonable at his age??
I've said to him we may need to discuss this problem with GP and he looked grief stricken!
Is there anyone with experience in this who can advise?

My grandson had exactly the same problem and it was due to a tight foreskin restricting the flow. He was circumcised aged 11 and now all fine.
It was something that had to be done privately though as apparently there is a four year wait on the NHS and he was worried about going to secondary school and it being spotted.
Well worth getting it done if that’s the problem and you can afford it though, he is so much happier.

Did you read the OP?
She says "We've asked him to sit down on the toilet seat when he has a wee, but he says he can't because it hurts to push his penis down enough to stop the wee squirting on to the seat."

Yabu.
His dad needs to take him to see a male gp, along with a proper man to man chat about how puberty can do strange things and how real men look after their health and always go to the dr when something's odd, even if its embarrassing.

I've read all your posts OP. Blimey, people do like to go off on one on here, don't they.

All the best for your DS. Hopefully he'll get a GP who will put him at ease and it's something that can be easily fixed.

Who in the right mind wants to watch a 12 year old boy take a piss.
Instead of making a thread about it talk to a GP.

What about lads who don't have a Dad in their life?
I would have to accompany my sons to the GP. I would ask him whether he wanted to see a male or female GP.
"Real men" can feel embarrassment.

Why don't you just get dad to look at him, before going to the extent of making a doctor's appointment?

Silly comment. He is clearly not doing it on purpose.

If you had an issue doing the toilet or with periods at that age or older would you want your mum watching to see what's going wrong?

Um-no the lad clearly has a medical issue amature mum and dad aren't going to fix it. Take him to a GP male preferably!

Yes, of course I would! I would go to my mum first. Before thinking I need a doctor!!! What else are parents for? Children should feel free to speak to their parents. Sometimes it might be something so simple that a parent can help with. That's what parents are for, of course!

Seriously you'd let your mum watch you pee if you had an issue with it going in the wrong direction?

At that age, yes! Seriously, you wouldn't? ??? What else are parents for? Wtf? It could be something as simple as position. I wouldn't want my mum to make me go to the doctors if she could help. Are you honestly seriously saying you wouldn't check your child over and make sure they were ok, BEFORE making an appointment, when it could have been something so simple? I presume you wouldn't guide your child during potty-training, either ? You'd just expect the child to sort it out for themself or else bother the doctor for something that should be part of your duty as a parent?

I can't believe what I'm reading. Maybe we should outsource all our parenting duties to over-stretched doctors and everyone else, since some parents seem aghast at having to actually parent their child.

You don't need to watch him wee. The doctor will be able to figure it out. We had this with one kid but it was something he always had. I just thought it was normal when he was potty training that he would have bad aim and my husband said it was normal and is a boy so would know! Eventually when he was about 8 I got tired of cleaning up mess and took him to the doctor myself (against husband's wishes, husband said, this is normal, why are you making a big deal of it) and the doctor explained it's not normal but easily fixed. He had a minor outpatient operation of 5 minutes duration or less (most of the time was waiting for the doctor to come in). I arranged in advance that it would be a male surgeon, which the surgery center totally understood and were fine with that. I let my husband take him to the operation and I stayed out of the surgery aftercare (went on about two weeks, of just doing a couple things a couple times per day) and let my husband help him with it.

It's possible what your kid has is different from what my kid had, because in the case of your child, it wasn't always this way. But, in any case, the doctor will know what to do.

At his age he should be able to fully retract his foreskin without discomfort so it does sound as if it's too tight and yes it would create a kind of shower effect if he really needs to go and can't pull it back.

Oh, nonono. This is not position. It's most likely a blockage in the stream of urine. Could be the opening being blocked, or at some other position. The reason you don't need to watch him wee is that the questions asked by the doctor, to your child, will tell the doctor what's the problem. In addition the doctor can do a physical exam. Unless your child is nonverbal, there's no need for mum to watch the child wee as the child is old enough to answer the doctor's questions on his own.

I also immediately thought phimosis / BXO. Very common in his age group and needs treatment (often circumcision is required).

https://www.cuh.nhs.uk/patient-information/balanitis-xerotica-obliterans-bxo-in-boys-information-for-parents-and-carers/

Obviously YABU! Get his Dad to give him advice, try to encourage him to sit down but otherwise leave him to it. Keep a roll of kitchen roll, spray and a bin under the sink and just ask him to give it a quick go round afterwards. Don't make a 'thing' out of it!.

It was my first thought too as DH said aim is impossible with an erection.

He's 12, not 2.

Would you let your mum watch you pee?

Sorry, meant to quote @Sueveneers

Hi @PleasedToBeAFlower I haven’t read all the responses but wanted to say that my DN (13 at the time) had this exact issue. It was a tight foreskin and when boys pee the head of the penis bulges which causes pain and spraying of urine. They gave him topical steroids to apply to the foreskin for a few weeks and it loosened the foreskin and the problem was gone. If that didn’t work there is a small surgery they can do to loosen the foreskin as well.
The GP will be able to help. It is embarrassing for them though, I have total sympathy as DN was very embarrassed about the whole thing.

I bet he was mostly embarrassed that someone told his Auntie?!

Ask the school nursing team, they should be able to advise

Poor lad - definitely get him to the doctors and hopefully they can help him x