To ask to see DS doing a wee?

[PleasedToBeAFlower]

Does anyone out there have experience of boys unable to aim or direct their flow of urine??
My 12 year old DS cannot manage to aim in to the toilet bowl. Every time he has a wee, it goes all over the toilet lid and seat (which he has lifted up, obviously), all over the back of the hinges of the seat, down the sides of the toilet and sprays all over the floor!!!
What is going on?!
This is a new thing.
Never used to happen as a younger boy.
We've really talked to him about this as it's making the bathroom smell of urine, and we've had to throw out 2 fabric baskets that sat next to the toilet holding loo rolls, because they got entrenched in his wee and smelt of urine despite being washed.
DS is actually really embarrassed about it, he panics when it happens and is often seen wiping it all up off the floor with tissue after going to toilet, looking mortified if we see him.
He has said he hates it but that his wee 'squirts up everywhere' and he says he tries really hard but cannot control the aim.
DH gets really annoyed about it because we are forever scrubbing the toilet and floor. He's talked to him about positioning, aim, holding himself correctly, etc. DS says he does all that but the wee literally squirts up and out all over the place.
We've asked him to sit down on the toilet seat when he has a wee, but he says he can't because it hurts to push his penis down enough to stop the wee squirting on to the seat.
I feel I need to watch him have a wee so I can see what's happening but is this unreasonable at his age??
I've said to him we may need to discuss this problem with GP and he looked grief stricken!
Is there anyone with experience in this who can advise?

Not according to @BodegaSushi !
According to them, the best advice they can give me is their toxic sarcasm and for them to then urge you all to 'wake up' to what I'm posting about!!!
I despair.
Thank you very much to everyone who has given decent insight and advice.
I'm leaving this thread now as there's a lot of idiots posting here.
I've just made a GP appointment for him.
DS is here with me as it's a school inset day, so I asked him whether he'd like a male or female GP and he said he didn't mind as either one will be equally embarrassing but he countered that a Dr is a Dr regardless of their gender. He is willing to attend, that's the main thing.
I asked him if he'd prefer me or his dad to take him, and he said he would feel equally comfortable with either one of us because he knows both of us will be supportive.
Thanks again to all the posters who offered sound advice.

in the meantime, might he wee into a potable male urinal thingy (bottle with a long neck) then empty into loo to save on mess/cleaning until it's resolved?

Sounds great! 👍 💐

Male here - some memories - check this with your dp.

At 12 you get erections all the time triggered by all sorts of random things unrelated to sexual thoughts.

You said this was new behaviour, he finds it painful to pee sitting down, it squirts up and you describe a lot of urine.

To me that describes trying to pee with a full bladder and an erection - irrespective of foreskin position it doesn't pee/spray upwards unless there is something more than a semi. Whilst it is virtually impossible to pee with a full erection you can as it begins to subside.

Sitting down and trying to point a virtually erect penis into the pan does hurt/is really uncomfortable and at that age can even stiffen the erection - touch is stimulation.

I might posit that that he's engrossed in stuff (TV, gaming, mobile, pc?) and waits until bladder is very full before peeing.

There's a simple scenario where you're sitting down, full bladder means you tighten whatever muscles which triggers the start of an erection - getting up then brushes pants and glans making the erection worse, you race to the loo and full bladder means you let go before the erection subsides and all hell breaks loose.

My understanding is that phimosis impacts foreskin retraction but if this was to the extent that the foreskin was covering the urethra you'd have had the spray problem when younger. A tight foreskin with early erections is common and soon eases with the frequent practice you get.

(I guess there's a possibility that apart from wet dreams he hasn't actually ever ejaculated yet so doesn't quite understand what is happening when his penis is hard and pointing up. No idea how you'd explain that to him.)

I think DH could watch him. It sounds like there is a problem which requires GP.

Move the toilet rolls. Get him to wipe up everything that's got wee on.

You need to sit him down at a calm tome and talk seriously. Explain about how it’s quite normal to have a foreskin that is difficulty to retract. Explain the medical consequences of this, and why it needs looking at. State you or the GO can look first, but it must be looked at.

I’ve had similar with my son, it’s normal. In his case it was mild and gently retracting in the bath sorted it (gently!!! Over time). It was washable and he had one incidence of redness and soreness (GP visit). It can however require treatment and it’s really important you talk him through this. Explain to him examining yourself is a very normal part of adult life and part of growing up, for women and men

Good advice.

DS2 (15) has always sat down and has no problems. If your DS has, every time, he needs to see a doctor. For now, move the baskets etc as he won’t necessarily realise some of the urine has gone in them. Try to keep it a clear space and he needs to clean it up and bin the wipes.

If you're still here, OP, I don't have experience of this, but I have very recent (in fact, ongoing) experience of sudden-onset gynae issues with 13 year old daughter.

I knew that the first thing the GP would do would be to insist on a pregnancy test, even though she says she's never had sex and I'm as sure as can be that she's telling the truth. So I tried to get her to do one at home before calling the GP. But she was mortified and refused point blank. Wouldn't do it herself, wouldn't let me do it with her. Wouldn't give me a sample so that I could test it. Wouldn't agree to go to the GP and do one there. Just didn't want anything to do with a urine sample. So I was at a loss for how to help her. She eventually agreed to see the GP (and was hoping that they would arrange a non-urine-based pregnancy test). GP said 'do a home pregnancy test' and also arranged various other tests. Suddenly, once she had heard it from the GP, she agreed (still reluctantly) to do it.

Not a miracle ending, the investigations are still going on as to what the issue is, but just to say that calling the GP did help to move things on a bit. She was just happier to take instructions from a medical professional than from me. Good luck finding help for your DS, I hope it's resolved soon.

Well done OP on talking to your ds and making the gp appointment. It's so important that our children are able to talk to us about their body parts, even when it's a little embarrassing. I was a lone parent with a ds and over 10 years ago got a phone call from him while he was away at college, he was embarrassed but explained he needed a see a gp due to a penis injury (he'd a steady girlfriend who couldn't face me for ages), we're in Ireland so gp visits are expensive and his college budget wouldn't have covered it. I forwarded him the money, he rang to update me after seeing the gp and its never been mentioned since but I'm still happy that he was comfortable enough to call me, he could have called his gf or uncle but told me afterwards that they'd have slagged too much. Best of luck with the gp, once your ds has this sorted he'll feel much better and hopefully he'll be able to tell you if there's any reoccurring issues.

Is he circumcised OP? Is his dad? I ask because my kids' father and their paternal grandfather had to be around 8/10 due to the foreskin being too tight. They couldn't push it down enough and it hurt a lot to try. Could be a similar situation; if so then GP

We had this with my son, was a bit younger. He ended up getting circumcised and then another couple other wee procedures, where they put a tiny rod up the hole, sorry tmi! Completely sorted it and was relatively straight forward, thankfully he was at an age where he was happy enough for us to have a look. Now a strapping 18 year old and all fine, he’d say if it wasn’t

Of course he’ll be embarrassed, poor lad. My ds had to go to the doctor for something really personal but was helped by it being a lovely kind older male gp. Perhaps a male doctor could give him a phone consultation first to discuss possible causes? If he can build up a bit of trust it might help him actually see him face to face.

Ask him to sit and pee, I think most German men do it, they call it sitzpinkers. I also think he may have a problem or too much foreskin so a GP would be able to help. Tell him it is a very common problem. My sons when they were 12 would never have been OK with mum watching them pee.
Good luck x

Bless him, hope it’s something that the GP can diagnose and is easily treated. It must be hard to transition from them being younger and more open to awkward, self-conscious tweens.

My 7 year old asked me the other day what testicles were for and I explained it was where men kept the sperm, which is seeds for making babies. He said “So how can some people have triplets if men only have two testicles?” I think he was picturing conkers when I said seeds 😂.

It sounds to be like he's trying to pee with an erection, especially as he's said it hurts to "push it down" if he pees sat down.

At age 12 he could be getting up to 3 or 4 of these an hour completely involuntarily, and if you already need a wee then getting an erection can really make you need to go right now. And just to make it worse, it takes forever for an erection to subside when you're desperate for a wee.

It is possible to pee with an erection, especially once it starts subsiding a bit, but it's a bugger to control, and you sometimes end up with two complexly separate streams coming out at 45 degree angles, at which point you're screwed.

Phimosis is of course another possibility, and there's one other that I've not seen mentioned so far is that he might have just started pulling his foreskin back. I grew up in a household with no other men, and noone told me I should be pulling my foreskin back to pee, until it came up in conversation in school at about 11. You end up getting a hell of a lot more distance with your foreskin pulled back and I ended up basically learning how to aim all over again.

Sounds like he has a tight foreskin and needs medical attention.

It is a medical condition and he needs to see the gp. If he is reluctant ring the doctor for a chat yourself and see what he suggests. You absolutely cannot ask to watch a 12 year old pee. That will be so humiliating for him and what do you expect to gain from that? Leave him alone and speak to a professional. He is already struggling and doing his best to clean up after himself. Don’t increase his feelings of shame and embarrassment.

Yep.
I actually once asked my (Swiss, grew up right at the German border) SO about him pretty much always sitting down.

Well, seems like it boils down to "no mess. less cleaning"...

anti stand-up peeing pictogram stickers are actually a fairly common sight in German and Swiss loos. Here´s a link for those that for those that have never seen them).
Amazon.de : aufkleber stehpinkler

Some of the replies on here are awful. I hope the GP can help DS Op.

Think about a hose pipe. If you squeeze the end, water flow will change, so it could well be an anatomy thing.

Hi OP, my son is younger and had an issue with tight foreskin. This sometimes made a bubble like effect to his penis misguiding his aim. Just a thought.

Tell him to sit down.

Good luck with the doctors OP and it is best to get things checked out. I think your DS has a foreskin problem. I am sure all will be fine.

My DS has a wetting problem. We found out 6 years ago when he said he doesn't know when he needs to go. He hasn't any sensation when he needs to go for a wee.
Booked GP, referred to local hospital, scans etc. He has cystic kidney disease and under the care of a children's hospital in London. All fine but monitor every 6 months. We know as mothers when something isn't right. My DS is the same age as your DS and apart from being small for his age, the cysts are not taking over the function of his kidneys and the kidneys are growing but the cysts are staying the same size.

Good luck with the appointment. Come back and let us know how things are.

@PleasedToBeAFlower ive just read through and seen you’ve already made a GP appointment. You sound like a great mum and great parents and your sons responses and the fact he wants to cleanup etc are testiment to that.
A tight foreskin is easy to diagnose and treat and will make a world of difference to him. He would be mortified at this happening at school etc.
Sorry some posters have been shits and to the ones who wanted you to shame your son and ignore a medical problem, there are no words.