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Original poster

Partner doesn't know where he was ??

206 replies

Lauryn95 · 10/10/2023 08:56

What would you do if your partner went out to the pub then it progressed to going to town as in late bars and clubs and then you woke up in the morning and he didn't come home ,then he didn't come home til noon the following day and "couldn't remember" where he stayed

OP posts:
goldierocks · 10/10/2023 12:50

"there is no way he blacked out and can’t remember where he was 30 mins or an a hour before he got home. If someone had asked you before you went to bed you’d have known where you were and had been"

My seizures often wipe out my immediate short-term memory. When I have one, I can't remember a thing about what I've done since I woke up that morning. Sometimes my memory comes back, sometimes it doesn't.

As I said, unlikely but possible. His reaction will speak volumes.

Oysterbabe · 10/10/2023 12:52

He's full of shit OP, don't stand for it.
Does he really expect you to believe he woke up around midday and got home with zero awareness of where he was or how he was travelling? Does he think you were born yesterday? My 5 year old could lie better than that.

PumpkinTerror · 10/10/2023 12:57

I've had this happen to me and numerous friends. They all cheated. There was no random or unusual circumstance. Their mates knew about it too.

Sorry OP, don't waste your time trying to do mental excuse making gymnastics. If he did indeed get abducted by aliens, he'll desperately scramble around to gather irrefutable proof for you.

Janieforever · 10/10/2023 13:02

goldierocks · 10/10/2023 12:50

"there is no way he blacked out and can’t remember where he was 30 mins or an a hour before he got home. If someone had asked you before you went to bed you’d have known where you were and had been"

My seizures often wipe out my immediate short-term memory. When I have one, I can't remember a thing about what I've done since I woke up that morning. Sometimes my memory comes back, sometimes it doesn't.

As I said, unlikely but possible. His reaction will speak volumes.

Sure, that’s understandable, but the op hasn’t said he suffers from seizures.

SkiingIsHeaven · 10/10/2023 13:03

Next time pop and apple airtag in his pocket before he leaves.

Gerwurtztraminer · 10/10/2023 13:03

2jacqi · 10/10/2023 10:12

get his phone and go to google maps. click on pic at top then click on "your timeline" you can go back to saturday night and see location. this is android no idea about apple phones

OMG I just tried this and it's so detailed! I can even see when and where I popped into a local Sainsburys. Op, try this.

OP, he's highly unlikely to not remember anything, and at very least no the journey home in the morning after waking up. Even a heavily spiked drink would wear off after 12 hours So either he's cheated, had a drunken/druggy night of epic proportions & totally blacked out (which is very worrying) or done else something very bad he can't confess to as he knows you won't forgive him..

Hygeelady · 10/10/2023 13:11

How come you are not speaking now? It doesn't sound good though does it, what does he take you for to believe this nonsense 🤔

Lemon1111 · 10/10/2023 13:12

Dump him

confusedmum2023 · 10/10/2023 13:13

All good and well to not remember as in too drunk at the time to realise if u have fell asleep at the time but the minute u wake up and realise u are somewhere then u know! He’s obviously either woke up with someone, fell asleep in an alley or done something (eg drugs) he shouldn’t have and is too embarrassed to admit it. U think after being missing all that time he’d at least have came up with an excuse not i can’t remember. He either owns up now and u decide if it’s something u believe and want to work on or he packs his bags and gets the hell out. Don’t put up with this shit. So sorry the worry is horrible and u shouldn’t be embarrassed for feeling worried, he’s the one who should be.

1month · 10/10/2023 13:14

You need to ask to see his call log / texts before he has a chance to delete them.

Imagwine · 10/10/2023 13:15

What are you going to do op?

Mikimoto · 10/10/2023 13:17

We're never going to hear back, are we?...

sockarefootwear · 10/10/2023 13:21

Sorry you're going through this OP.

I suspect he's trying to buy time to come up with a story that he can get someone to back up. I think there's a fair chance that his friends know exactly where he went and won't actually tell you but have refused to cover for him. He probably plans to persuade one of them, or another friend who was not there, to back a story so he can 'remember' (or maybe even set up a call/text from a friend that he can show you that shows where he was. This is exactly what a colleague of mine use to do until the stage where all his friends got sick of it.

I would be very wary of any story he comes up with now. If you believe that there might be a chance that he DID suffer from some sort of extended blackout, I would be questioning why he is not terrified and wanting medical advice. Passing out drunk and not remembering what you did the night before is one thing, being so out of it that you can't remember where you woke up or how you got home in the middle of the next day is quite different.

MrsMiagi · 10/10/2023 13:48

Lauryn95 · 10/10/2023 08:56

What would you do if your partner went out to the pub then it progressed to going to town as in late bars and clubs and then you woke up in the morning and he didn't come home ,then he didn't come home til noon the following day and "couldn't remember" where he stayed

When this happened to me I wanted to believe him so I did.
He cheated.
But, I had believed him so he knew what he could get away with and cheated some more.
Don't believe him, he knows where he was.
I'm sorry

Londontown12 · 10/10/2023 13:49

I’d dump them cus they’re fibbing !!!

Steev · 10/10/2023 13:53

What an absolute prat.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 10/10/2023 13:59

newamsterdam · 10/10/2023 08:57

He knows exactly where he was. He just doesn't know you to know where he was.

This.

I could buy that he’s lost his memory from last night, but he must’ve woken up somewhere. He’s not just a liar, he’s a bloody rubbish one.

whattodo22222 · 10/10/2023 14:11

OP tell him to open Google Maps and go into his timeline. That'll tell him exactly where he was, assuming it's enabled on his phone.

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 10/10/2023 14:11

Well, it's a good thing you called his parents during your worried phase. It'd be difficult for them to take his side when you split.

Desperateinseattle · 10/10/2023 14:32

Lauryn95 · 10/10/2023 10:03

Apparently he doesn't know.... he literally said he can't remember like I'm an idiot

Show quote history

It’s like he doesn’t even respect you enough to lie properly- tell him you’re concerned and think you should go and get checked out at A&E for spiking.

his friends covered. He knows. Gross. I’m sorry OP

StillWantingADog · 10/10/2023 14:33

I’d think he was lying

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 10/10/2023 14:35

He's a liar and he thinks you are stupid. Both good reasons the kick him to the curb.

Seryse · 10/10/2023 14:36

Call his bluff, if he's blacked out that can be an indicator of some serious things. Suggest a trip to the docs/hospital and see what his reaction is.

BestZebbie · 10/10/2023 15:03

At least because you phoned his parents looking for him, they'll know the real reason you kicked him out!

Seaweed42 · 10/10/2023 15:09

He must have woken up somewhere in order to 'go home'?

He must have had been sober enough and had recollection of where he traveled from to get home.

Ask to look at his phone to help him remember.

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