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Original poster

Partner doesn't know where he was ??

206 replies

Lauryn95 · 10/10/2023 08:56

What would you do if your partner went out to the pub then it progressed to going to town as in late bars and clubs and then you woke up in the morning and he didn't come home ,then he didn't come home til noon the following day and "couldn't remember" where he stayed

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 10/10/2023 09:19

Wow he couldn’t even be bothered to come up with a semi believable story.

I would talk divorce after this. Maybe the shock will encourage his memory to return.

AutumnWellyBootsandScarf · 10/10/2023 09:22

Lauryn95 · 10/10/2023 08:59

As in he went out the sat came home Sunday noon ,I rang him and texted him and asked his friends at 10am where he was and they all said they lost him in town and Didn't know where he was then when he come home I said where have you been and he said "I don't know" "can't remember" were not speaking now and I don't know what to do ,do I need a divorce?

@Lauryn95 It's bullshit, of course he knows where he was, he woke up there & got himself home.

it isn't as if he passed out at a mates house.

tell him to fuck off to her, if she's married that's his problem. He'll have to persuade a mate to let him kip on the sofa while he sorts his shit out!!

Namerequired · 10/10/2023 09:24

So what is the last thing he remembers? and was the next 1st thing since your front door? It’s ridiculous. Can’t even make up a story, which is probably a good thing, but does he really expect you to accept that explanation no questions asked? He’s deluded, or expecting you to be. Maybe he’s waiting for his head to clear and then it will all miraculously come back to him.

VeridicalVagabond · 10/10/2023 09:26

I'd be fucked off he thought I was that stupid.

If you really want to know the truth you could always try "the ultimatum".

"If you want a chance to save this relationship you need to tell me where you were, don't insult my intelligence by saying you "don't remember ", the whole truth right now or you can pack your bags and get out."

Obviously LTB either way but you might at least get some honesty from him this way.

BittIeLastard · 10/10/2023 09:27

Unless he was spiked and dumped at your front door, where did he wake up? Where did he just leave to make his way home to you? Yeah he could get to fuck as far as I'd be concerned.

Findyourneutralspace · 10/10/2023 09:28

Of course he knew where he was! Even if he was blackout drunk when he arrived, he’d have figured it out when he woke up. He just doesn’t want to tell you.

GoodnightJude1 · 10/10/2023 09:36

I’d be insulted that he’d think I was stupid enough to believe his pathetic lies.

He knows where he was. He doesn’t want you to know where he was.

FartSock5000 · 10/10/2023 09:38

@Lauryn95 him being so shitfaced drunk he doesn't know where he went and how he got there was believable but it stops when he still claims that by noon the next day.

He knows exactly where he woke up and who he woke up with.

If it was just on the floor/sofa of a mate, he would have said so.

NOT innocent.

Ophy83 · 10/10/2023 09:40

If he has a smart phone his location history/Google maps history will show him where he was.

SallyWD · 10/10/2023 09:41

You can definitely forget certain parts of the night if you're very drunk but the fact is he would have sobered up to some extent when he woke up and he would have known where he was.

cleveshouse · 10/10/2023 09:42

It's either what you are thinking or he needs his brain checked up. Could be early onset Alzheimer's

newnamethanks · 10/10/2023 09:43

What would I do? Disbelieve him, he's obviously lying. Tell him he needs to improve his technique and prepare to LTB.

Dibbydoos · 10/10/2023 09:43

How did he get home? He must know the address.

I could understand if he couldn't recall which pubs/clubs they went to, but it sounds to me like he is lying.

Do you love him? Is your relationship worth saving?

If not split and divorce - no fault is easiest I think. If it is worth saving get into counselling and find out what he was doing. He's an idiot for not telling you and pretending he doesn't know what he was doing...

Purpleraiin · 10/10/2023 09:44

Well how did he get home from wherever he was?! Walk? Then how can he not know where he started his walk from?
Taxi/lift, surley he knows where he called for the taxi/lift to?

What type of phone does he have? Any chance he's got a Google account signed into it? I think he's full of crap and you'll only find out the truth by looking for it yourself, doubt very much he's going to suddenly tell you anything

Mmhmmn · 10/10/2023 09:46

So if he didn’t cheat (he did) what he’s suggesting is that he got SO drunk that it completely wiped his memory.
So 1 - he’s a cheat or a moron
And 2 - he’ll do it again

JaxiiTaxii · 10/10/2023 09:49

Ophy83 · 10/10/2023 09:40

If he has a smart phone his location history/Google maps history will show him where he was.

I'm the last person to check my DH phone, but in this situation I'd be asking for it to be handed over, checking location and his text messages for that night.

He doesn't know where he woke up?? Oh aye.

angieloumc · 10/10/2023 09:50

What an idiot he is, blacked out so much that the next thing he remembers is being on his front door step.

TenderDandelions · 10/10/2023 09:51

You may not be with it enough to know where you are when you fall asleep drunk, but you sure as hell are sober enough when you wake up to figure it out!

If he has an iphone, he may not know about location history - Check iphone location history

4 Ways to Check iPhone Location History [Step by Step]

This post offers 4 ways to check iPhone location history: from Setting, Google Map Timeline, Apple Map search history and AirDroid location tracker.

https://www.airdroid.com/parent-control/check-iphone-location-history/

AmazingSnakeHead · 10/10/2023 09:52

I'm so sorry OP. The likely cheating and going AWOL is bad enough but lying to your face like that and expecting you to believe it is beyond the pale, so insulting. I might try and save an otherwise wonderful relationship after a drunken one night stand, if the man was honest and on his hands and knees in remorse. In your case the lying would be enough to throw him out.

Obviously he knows where he woke up this morning or how the fuck else did he get home? He would know something. And his friends "loosing" him during the night is BS too. If your mate disappeared out of the blue you would be worried and you'd be checking your phone, they'd have seen your calls. More likely they know he went home with someone and don't want to say.

Mmhmmn · 10/10/2023 09:52

Tell him obviously you can’t go near him if he’s clearly been sticking it somewhere he shouldn’t have been. It’s a matter of your health as well as basic respect for you that he doesn’t stay out all night.

Gnomegnomegnome · 10/10/2023 09:54

How did he get home? Drive/walk/public transport?

ZebraD · 10/10/2023 09:55

If he has an iPhone you can go on locations and sometimes it shows where you have been - like a history. I mean - surely he should be worried and want to know what happened too?
unless he has been spiked then it’s just nonsense. What did he say about his whereabouts when he woke to make his way home?
sounds like a shithead but I could be wrong…

caringcarer · 10/10/2023 09:58

Duckingella · 10/10/2023 09:07

He went home with another woman whether that be a house or hotel.

His friends very likely aware he went home with another woman too but the "bro code" means they won't divulge that information.

He'll know where he woke up eg in a bed,on a sofa and where that location was as he would have gotten home from said location.

He's not even trying to lie very well is he?

He clearly thinks you are stupid. His can't remember story is pathetic. He woke up somewhere. His friends will know if he left with someone but they won't tell you.

skgnome · 10/10/2023 09:58

Let’s assume he got a spiked drink so he blacked out and woke up in a random location, he did not knew where he was, how he got there
but surely he knows how he got home from there
”don’t know” is a blatant lie that makes you suspicious
he couldn’t even get a proper cover story
sp you texted his mates and his family, that’s actually great, let him deal with the fall out of that
im not saying divorce, but don’t let him off the hook easily - even if he didn’t cheat, so you really want to be with someone that disappears to party for no reason ?

1month · 10/10/2023 09:59

He’s a liar.

Its one thing to not remember all of the bars you’ve visited but you would definitely remember where you woke up.

I would be wary of his friends too, as they probably know more than they’re letting on.