Husband fed me a food he knows I have never eaten and never willingly will

[Anon39]

I came back from taking our son to training and as I walked back in my husband asked me if I wanted a sausage sandwich I immediately said yes

started eating it and he said do you know what those sausage are? And I replied in the negative and he started to chuckle and said “do you like it?” So my hackles were up I stopped eating and asked for the package of sausage

he started getting defensive and I just knew it was black pudding (which I do not eat and have never eaten and he knows how I feel I have no feelings if you do eat it and that’s not the point of my post)

I found the package and it was black pudding sausage I was so upset he knew I would never have willingly eaten black pudding. I feel so betrayed and I’ve ended up crying and he has basically told me to grow up and stop being so dramatic he can’t understand why I’m so upset

it’s not really about the food it’s about the breaking my trust I would never think to question him about what type of sausage they were because I trusted him

not to drip feed I am Autistic so I am aware I have issues around food

yes you’re being unreasonable and should have checked (after 20 years of marriage)
no - your partner deliberately betrayed your trust

He's a massive fucking dickhead.

You are completely justified in feeling betrayed. After being with your partner for so long I imagine they should know that you would never eat black pudding.

I also have similar issues around food and I have been in similar situations, I understand how upset this will have made you feel.

If he had forgotten or served you it in error I'd think you were being a bit over the top. However he deliberately tricked you, laughed about it and sounds like he was mocking you. There is only one person that needs to grow up in your relationship. You had a clear boundary that he knew about and because he doesn't understand it (or just because he is mean and nasty?) he decided to trample all over it because he thinks his viewpoint about the type of food is more valid than yours. Which is not OK

Did it not taste different to you?

That is disgusting and actually abusive.

YANBU, he was being cruel getting his kicks out of your distraught. Not funny.

YANBU. I'd struggle to ever accept food from him again.

He’s disgusting
why would he do that to you?
you’re not being dramatic - he’s a dick

Why do people do that? Do they get a kick out deceiving others? A ‘told you so’ moment? It’s such a dick move to deliberately feed people food you absolutely know that don’t want to eat.

Disgusting behaviour from your husband...

You are perfectly right to be upset and to see this as a breach of your trust.

I really don't understand how he could think this is appropriate behaviour in any way.

Has he done similar things before (not respected your boundaries)?

started eating it and he said do you know what those sausage are? And I replied in the negative and he started to chuckle and said “do you like it?”

So he knew exactly what he was doing, and planned this deliberately? Presumably went out and bought the sausages specially to give to you?

Honestly, he sounds like Mr Twit (from Roald Dahl). Assuming you are not Mrs Twit yourself, I’d rethink this relationship.

I'm assuming this isn't an isolated incident and that he's frequently an arsehole

That’s violating.

That he

@Ilefttownonsaturday · Today 10:26

Did it not taste different to you?

Missing the point entirely...

I really don't get it and agree with your husband

I could (maybe) excuse him forgetting, buying the sausages and making them for you. Deliberately tricking you and laughing though is abusive. I wouldn't be able to trust anything he said.

He’s an asshole. Is he usually that cruel?

Would people feel so strongly if this were, say, gooseberries rather than black pudding?

Tricking someone into eating something you know they never want to eat is okay is it?

Sorry. Tagged wrong post. That was supposed to be for @roarrfeckingroar

If OP had a strong aversion to gooseberries, then yep. It’s the “laughing about tricking her” part that is cuntish.

It’s not comparable tbh. People don’t like gooseberries, but it’s not the same thing.

Its more comparable to feeding a vegan meat.

Absolutely. If my DH ever tricked me into eating something he knew I didn't want to eat and laughed about it, it would be abusive. Regardless of what that thing was.