My 5 year old injured a child

[Soworriedtoday]

Posting for traffic. Name changed. Feeling sick.

My 5 year has injured another child at school. Other child has required urgent hospital treatment and is requiring ongoing treatment.

I don't know who the other child is and I imagine that the last thing the parents want is anything to do with us.

I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do? My child "lashed out". We are a caring family, lots of opportunities, not exposed to anything like violence or substance, travel around the world.

What do I do? Will anything happen to my child?

As I said earlier, you just don't have enough information.

It's easy to spiral into catastrophic what-ifs.

Hope the meeting goes well.

He's only 5. He has absolutely no understanding of consequences. It's enormously tough even for adults to understand their own strength.

School have said it was in play. Wait for the meeting till you understand what happened and stop catastrophising.

I'm surprised that you're surprised. We don't even know what happened!!

I do hope you never sit on a jury!!!

You sound quite wounded, almost as if this is an affront to your parenting.

Shit happens in playgrounds. It wasn't intentional. The other child was much older.

An example of the sort of thing it could be:

My DS was being chased round the playground by a friend; they were both 7 or 8? They collided as the friend caught him, and DS fell face first on to the sharp corner of a picnic bench - he looked like he had been beaten up, half his face was bruised. We had to have him checked at hospital.

It did not even occur to me to blame the other child or his parents.

I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down @Soworriedtoday . If school felt your child was at serious fault he would have received punishment and additionally you would have been called in to discuss the day of or the day after the incident. Accidents happen and people need to remember that. They happen A LOT with children when they’re playing. My eldest was knocked over and concussed in the school playground (properly concussed - dizzy, vomiting, visit to a&e) by boys being overly boisterous….it never occurred to me that the other parents should apologise. Leave the discipline and diplomacy to school.

Calm down, he’s 5 years old so nothing is going to happen. Goes without saying, if another ‘violent’ incident occurs you should then start to worry but as a one off, let it go. Obviously try to apologise directly to the parents and offer chocolates/wine as a way of apology and ensure your DS understands as much as possible why he was wrong, also make sure he apologises to the other child. Other than that, he’s five so these things happen from time to time. Sounds like they were play fighting and it got out of hand.

It really depends what it was before anyone else can have a view (and of course age is a big consideration). If they were playing roughly and the old child fell/was pushed and has broken a limb, that's very different from if your child had taken a stick and jabbed it in the older child's face and caused a bad injury. He's still young and won't fully understand but one is "normal", the other a bit more concerning.

You are a freak

While this is true, we have precisely zero information about how this incident occurred.
The injured child might have been the bully - we simply don't know.

Oh and I bet your DC is a little angel who can do no wrong in mumma's eyes🙄

OP, I think you're being a bit OTT here.

Accidents happen. Children mess around and sometimes, they get hurt. Of course it's not very nice but it's part of childhood. It doesn't mean your child is violent or a bully and it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. The fact that you're on here feeling as shit as you do means you're a bloody good parent.

I was once messing around on the playground at that age and another girl tripped, fell on me and I dislocated my thumb when I hit the floor. I'm sure the other girl's parents felt awful but it wasn't her fault - we were both playing and we fell and I injured myself. It happens. It's really not a big deal.

Oh shush. Nobody here knows what happened. If both kids were rough housing then it's possible the older one has fallen and broken a bone. Accidents happen and the OP seems very wound up considering she doesn't know what happened yet

time to reopen the penal colonies to discipline all these out of control 5 years old. Australia still has some empty space we can use.

My son had his arm broken by another child, but it was a complete accident. These things happen.

Sounds like an accident.

Talk to the school and find out what happened and follow their lead in dealing with it.

It could just have been an unfortunate accident - it could be your child was in the wrong - or it could be more murky.

DS kept lashing out in reception - very unlike him though he was struggling - turns out another child was well I say bullying if older but relentlessly teasing and attacking physically when adults out of sight all day and by end of day DS was lashing out not acceptable but we came up with a plan that he walked away and spoke to an adult but unfortunately the adults - TAs and otehr teacher - sent him away or and worse kept putting them together with this boy as they'd got on year before.

I had to go in and insist they were separated - problem went away immediately for us - other child did same to another child and another for next few years - kids left or swapped classes school wised up.

The school clearly don't think your child has done anything wrong as they haven't punished him, and it seems like this happened a few days ago. Find out exactly what happened before you blame your son.

I got told that my DS had hurt another boy by yanking his arm so he fell over and banged his head. I was so angry at DS at first, it's so out of character. But then I found out that it was a much older boy and his minions, who are shits who terrorise the younger kids. They'd got DS cornered in the cloakroom and were attempting to beat him. 3 12 year olds against a gentle autistic 8 year old. But they hadn't banked on DS doing jujutsu since he could walk. The arm yanking was a defensive move against someone throwing a punch at your face.

I bet you're homeschooling right? Or how do you manage normal interactions between your precious darling and other children?

ASBO Kid? A 5 years old for an incident you know nothing about? Really?
God forbid someone grabs the glue stick out of your kids hand!

Time outs are not part of the gentle parenting ethos. You might want to reconsider using time outs if you are trying to be gentle parents.

My kids all go to mainstream comp schools. They behave because I raised them to know right from wrong and to play nicely, theyd never even think of fighting or hurting any other children.

OP from what you're describing it doesn't sound like your child was being aggressive so please try not to worry like this. If the school hasn't punished him it sounds like they were just play-fighting and the older child got accidentally hurt. If they were both play-fighting willingly the other child's injury is not your child's fault, it's neither of their fault's. Kids play fight all the time and often play fight really roughly - that is not "bad" or even aggressive behaviour if both of them are willingly doing it. It may be reckless and should obviously be discouraged or stopped if it is dangerous, but I don't think you need to panic that your son is aggressive. He's only 5, he has no history of aggression, it really sounds like an unfortunate accident.

but you don't know what happened?

Your little darlings are not allowed to play with a ball, join a football/rugby team, play "it".. any random game where a child can get hurt.

theyd never even think of fighting
😄

This makes it sound like an accident rather than deliberate. Do you know know what happened at all ? Has your ds not told you ?
At that age a (lovely, well adjusted ) friend used to throw rocks when he got angry. Luckily he never hit anyone on the head. Five year olds can have tantrums and throw things. They can also be wound up by play fighting into being too rough, perhaps this was what happened ?
It is hard to judge without knowing the injury though, and what caused it. Rough play can sometimes cause injury if a child falls awkwardly etc, this is an accident not deliberate, and if this is the case then just impress on your child to always play carefully to avoid hurting someone.

So he was playing with a much older child and the child was accidentally hurt?
I mean it’s horrible for the child and parents but I think you’re over reacting.
Once you know more then you can act then.