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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My 5 year old injured a child

384 replies

Soworriedtoday · 04/10/2023 09:28

Posting for traffic. Name changed. Feeling sick.

My 5 year has injured another child at school. Other child has required urgent hospital treatment and is requiring ongoing treatment.

I don't know who the other child is and I imagine that the last thing the parents want is anything to do with us.

I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do? My child "lashed out". We are a caring family, lots of opportunities, not exposed to anything like violence or substance, travel around the world.

What do I do? Will anything happen to my child?

OP posts:
Original poster
Soworriedtoday · 11/10/2023 08:10

Subforsupper · 11/10/2023 04:53

Can I ask, you have mentioned ‘travel around the world’ in your OP. I can’t really see how this is relevant unless this was a racist attack? Was the child of a different background to yours? Which night shed some light on how this just came out of nowhere

How is that racist exactly? It never occurred to me to even ask the other child's race!

I meant that we travel and meet people, and my child has not been kept indoors and felt the need to unleash.

OP posts:
T1Dmama · 11/10/2023 09:02

So a group of 9 year olds were bullying your 5 year old?!
ive never liked primary schools for this reason… too much of an age/size gap between year R’s and year 6’s to share a space… I think school should split break times so the infant ages go out together and then the juniors play out separately.

TizerorFizz · 11/10/2023 09:14

@T1Dmama This is exactly how many schools operate. YR are EY and should never be with Y6. They have different needs. A 5 yr old is probably Y1, but even so, being with y5 Dc isn’t best policy. I would expect separation.

Passepartoute · 11/10/2023 09:21

Has the school reassured you that it has addressed the bullying behaviour of the whole group of 9 year olds involved? It sounds as if they were pretty horrible.

TizerorFizz · 11/10/2023 12:28

My thoughts too. How play is organised is key here.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 11/10/2023 16:16

Your mistake OP is that you apologised for what your son had done. In the situation you describe he did nothing wrong. You had nothing to apologise for.

Playingintheshadow · 11/10/2023 17:32

TizerorFizz · 11/10/2023 00:32

@Playingintheshadow All schools have policies on bullying and behaviour. The school should follow these and so should parents accept them. It is nothing to do with manners. OP had no idea who Dc was (although it might become obvious) and should not approach his parents. The school might not pass on any apology in the circumstances. If the DS had been taunted and got upset because he’s 5, why is it good manners for his mum to apologise? Since when should the mother of a taunted/bullied child apologise? What policy suggests that as a way forward? In these circumstances it’s clearly a school matter. How the school deal with the older Dc is down to them and also the 5 year old. As it appears there’s no further action for the OPs DC, that’s the end of it.

I'm not talking about policy fgs.

Don't patronise me.

TizerorFizz · 11/10/2023 18:42

Policies are the most important framework when something happens in a school. The Buck stops with the head. What you might do after an altercation between Dc in your own garden (for example) is not the same as it’s down to you what you do. FFS!

knockyknees · 12/10/2023 10:46

MrTiddlesTheCat · 11/10/2023 16:16

Your mistake OP is that you apologised for what your son had done. In the situation you describe he did nothing wrong. You had nothing to apologise for.

Agreed.

At the very least I would have waited for the full story before deciding whether an apology was warranted (and it seems it wasn't required from your side in this instance).

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