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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s not my fault he didn’t knock?!

486 replies

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 09:31

We’re trying to sell our house and DP organised someone to come and do a valuation today. There was no specified time. At 7.50am, I get a string of text messages from DP saying the valuer was coming between 8am - 9am. We have a 4 week old baby who was up all night and I hadn’t even got out of bed yet. The house was in no way tidy, clean or suitable for anyone to value or view! I asked if it was possible that the valuer could rearrange for later, DP said he could not.

I then start running around trying to tidy the house whilst having a screaming crying baby who wants feeding and a nappy change in between. At 8am I get a text from DP saying the valuer is there (there was no knock at the door, only DP letting me know). I ask DP if the valuer can come back a bit later as the baby needs sorting out and the house is in no way ready. He says the valuer needs to do it this morning but will wait a bit and I’m to let him in.

45 minutes later, I’m still running around trying to get things in the house sorted (thankfully baby is fed and changed by this point)! DP comes back from the school run and goes mad saying the valuer has been waiting since 8am and is very angry and annoyed… except he never knocked at the door! He didn’t knock when he arrived at 8am or any of the duration where he was waiting and getting annoyed. Apparently I was supposed to just let him in when I and the house was ready.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous and it’s the valuers own fault for not knocking?!

OP posts:
LydiaTomos · 03/10/2023 09:32

I'm sure he knocked a few thousands off the valuation after you were so rude.

Conkersinautumn · 03/10/2023 09:34

I'd get someone to value who has a lot more about them.

MargaritaHargitaysLittleSister · 03/10/2023 09:35

Do you mean you left him outside on the doorstep for 45 minutes ? 🫨

Justforlaughs66 · 03/10/2023 09:35

You are being massively unreasonable. Your DP told you he was outside, you should've/could've let him in. I'd be annoyed at you too.

Gerrataere · 03/10/2023 09:35

Honestly I think the valuer and you should be angry with your partner. He arranged it for an inappropriate time, early morning with a newborn is an insane time to expect a perfect house and letting someone look around! If it was that urgent your partner should have been there to help and deal with the agent. He’s completely left you in the lurch and tried to shame you about his fuck up. I’d be telling him as much, but if it was me I’d have said ‘it’s not happening this morning’ to start with. There are other estate agents.

Janieforever · 03/10/2023 09:36

You knew he was there, I don’t get th4 issue of the knock? And surely you both knew he was coming today so how was the house so bad?

Janieforever · 03/10/2023 09:37

Gerrataere · 03/10/2023 09:35

Honestly I think the valuer and you should be angry with your partner. He arranged it for an inappropriate time, early morning with a newborn is an insane time to expect a perfect house and letting someone look around! If it was that urgent your partner should have been there to help and deal with the agent. He’s completely left you in the lurch and tried to shame you about his fuck up. I’d be telling him as much, but if it was me I’d have said ‘it’s not happening this morning’ to start with. There are other estate agents.

What? He was on the school run. And it’s clear he didn’t ask for that time.

Fiddlerdragon · 03/10/2023 09:38

Sorry but Yabu. The poor bloke was probably trying to be understanding and respectful, he wasn’t going to start banging on your door when you’re complaining that the baby’s crying and needs feeding and changing and you need more time. You literally knew he was stood outside and you knew it was today. If I had someone coming to value my property the next day, then I’d have it at least somewhat presentable the day before. I’d have been a little surprised at the 8am start perhaps, I’d have expected them more at 9, but from the sounds of it your house wouldn’t have even been anywhere near viewable then. As it is he’s there to do a valuation, he doesn’t really need the housework to be done. You should have let him in rather than wasting his time.

Gerrataere · 03/10/2023 09:39

Janieforever · 03/10/2023 09:37

What? He was on the school run. And it’s clear he didn’t ask for that time.

Show quote history

And the op was resting/starting the day with a very upset newborn. The partner should have sorted the house before leaving since he’d arranged the appointment. Or should have used some sense that it was a bad time to have the estate agent around at all. If that was the only time in the whole world the agent could come around (it really wouldn’t have been) then evidently they were not a workable company to use to start with.

TibetanTerrah · 03/10/2023 09:40

He might not have knocked knowing you have a newborn?

I don't understand why you didn't go to the door when DP told you the valuer was literally outside???

Aquamarine1029 · 03/10/2023 09:40

Your partner told you he was there. Why on earth didn't you open the door?

fozzybear23 · 03/10/2023 09:41

If you knew the valuer was due today at an unspecified time then I would have had the house tidy and ready to go the night before, knowing there's potential for them to turn up early in the morning.

Not sure why you needed to take 45 minutes tidying if he's only coming to value it? It's not like he was there to take advertising photos is it?

I get your frustration at having to deal with all that and a screaming baby but sorry I do think it's unreasonable to leave him sat outside all that time. You could have let him in and dealt with the baby while he looked around. Everyone's time was wasted.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 03/10/2023 09:41

Do you mean you knew someone was standing outside your house and you didn't attempt to even speak to them for 45 minutes? He probably knew you had a small baby and didn't knock so as not to wake the baby? Did the school run take over 45 minutes?

dimsumfatsum · 03/10/2023 09:41

He was coming to value your house based on its type, structure, location, not take photos for publication online! YABU. Massively.

Belleoftheball83 · 03/10/2023 09:41

YABU. Presumably you both knew the valuation was happening that day, even if you didn't know the exact time so why not sort the house the day before if it was such a mess? Leaving the poor guy outside for that long was rude, and I find it weird you wouldn't open the front door and communicate with him yourself once your DP let you know he was there!

dimsumfatsum · 03/10/2023 09:42

LydiaTomos · 03/10/2023 09:32

I'm sure he knocked a few thousands off the valuation after you were so rude.

😂

Fiddlerdragon · 03/10/2023 09:42

Gerrataere · 03/10/2023 09:35

Honestly I think the valuer and you should be angry with your partner. He arranged it for an inappropriate time, early morning with a newborn is an insane time to expect a perfect house and letting someone look around! If it was that urgent your partner should have been there to help and deal with the agent. He’s completely left you in the lurch and tried to shame you about his fuck up. I’d be telling him as much, but if it was me I’d have said ‘it’s not happening this morning’ to start with. There are other estate agents.

Why is it her partners fault? There wasn’t a specified time, they were just told it was today. Surely common sense dictates that the house should be made somewhat presentable yesterday, and as it is her partner clearly would have been happy to let him in. It’s entirely the op’s fuck up that she wasn’t ready and then refused to let him in.

Hillrunning · 03/10/2023 09:42

You were told he ahd arrived. He was passed a message that you needed to sort the baby out. How is it on him to predict how long that would be an come knocking? You were rude.

caringcarer · 03/10/2023 09:42

Justforlaughs66 · 03/10/2023 09:35

You are being massively unreasonable. Your DP told you he was outside, you should've/could've let him in. I'd be annoyed at you too.

I'd be furious if I was the valuer. Your DH told you he was there. If you book a valuer you make sure the house is ready is in a good state ready for him to value.

Original poster
PottyPet · 03/10/2023 09:43

When DP mentioned someone coming for a valuation, he said it would be around 1pm, so to get a text at 7.50am saying the valuer could be there in 10 minutes was a complete surprise.

DP just said he’d let the valuer know I needed more time and I was to let him in the house. The valuer didn’t knock or let me know he was there. I’ve no idea whether he was on the doorstep, in his car, in the cafe next door as he never made his presence known to me. All communication was via DP.

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 03/10/2023 09:43

You're being ridiculous. Of course you could have let the valuer in! They could have been getting on with the job while you were feeding and changing the baby. I see absolutely no reason why not at all. Of course the person can't be expected to jiggle all of their day's appointments around just to suit you!

Valuations aren't affected by general the untidiness of family life. Just let them in and leave them to get on with their job. They will have a number of other appointments that day and you have now unnecessarily caused them to overrun on the very first one. For no good reason.

You were very rude and silly.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/10/2023 09:43

Apparently I was supposed to just let him in when I and the house was ready.

No shit. It's just common sense.

Gerrataere · 03/10/2023 09:44

Fiddlerdragon · 03/10/2023 09:42

Why is it her partners fault? There wasn’t a specified time, they were just told it was today. Surely common sense dictates that the house should be made somewhat presentable yesterday, and as it is her partner clearly would have been happy to let him in. It’s entirely the op’s fuck up that she wasn’t ready and then refused to let him in.

Show quote history

The partner was dealing with appointment! He should have said ‘sorry 8am isn’t workable for us’, as it evidently wasn’t. Yes the house should have been presentable the day before, so why hadn’t the partner (who was so determined to have the agent around asap) done it?

NigelHarmansNewWife · 03/10/2023 09:45

It doesn't have to be pristine for a valuation. With the benefit of hindsight, first thing in the morning was probably not a good idea, but you knew he was actually outside OP and thought he would wait 45 mins to be let in?

Thewizardbinbag · 03/10/2023 09:45

You knew he was coming today. Why the fuck wasn’t the house tidied last night? And you were still in bed at 8? What did you expect to happen?

You are massively out of line. You knew the guy was coming so the house should have been ready yesterday, not left till this morning when you didn’t even bother getting out of bed to start cleaning early.

You were told he was outside. Why did you carry on pissing about for 45 minutes and not let him in? What were you playing at?

I’d be furious if I were him.

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