Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s not my fault he didn’t knock?!

486 replies

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 09:31

We’re trying to sell our house and DP organised someone to come and do a valuation today. There was no specified time. At 7.50am, I get a string of text messages from DP saying the valuer was coming between 8am - 9am. We have a 4 week old baby who was up all night and I hadn’t even got out of bed yet. The house was in no way tidy, clean or suitable for anyone to value or view! I asked if it was possible that the valuer could rearrange for later, DP said he could not.

I then start running around trying to tidy the house whilst having a screaming crying baby who wants feeding and a nappy change in between. At 8am I get a text from DP saying the valuer is there (there was no knock at the door, only DP letting me know). I ask DP if the valuer can come back a bit later as the baby needs sorting out and the house is in no way ready. He says the valuer needs to do it this morning but will wait a bit and I’m to let him in.

45 minutes later, I’m still running around trying to get things in the house sorted (thankfully baby is fed and changed by this point)! DP comes back from the school run and goes mad saying the valuer has been waiting since 8am and is very angry and annoyed… except he never knocked at the door! He didn’t knock when he arrived at 8am or any of the duration where he was waiting and getting annoyed. Apparently I was supposed to just let him in when I and the house was ready.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous and it’s the valuers own fault for not knocking?!

OP posts:
MsRosley · 03/10/2023 10:28

Gerrataere · 03/10/2023 09:35

Honestly I think the valuer and you should be angry with your partner. He arranged it for an inappropriate time, early morning with a newborn is an insane time to expect a perfect house and letting someone look around! If it was that urgent your partner should have been there to help and deal with the agent. He’s completely left you in the lurch and tried to shame you about his fuck up. I’d be telling him as much, but if it was me I’d have said ‘it’s not happening this morning’ to start with. There are other estate agents.

This.

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 03/10/2023 10:29

All I knew was that I got a text at 7.50am from DP saying a valuer was between 8am and 9am and the house needed to be sorted.

See now if DP had said don't worry about the state of the house just get yourself ready and let him in - THEN OP would be unreasonable.

The house didn't need to be sorted, OP didn't know that and took DP at his word. Not that his word meant anything, he told her it would be in the afternoon. So either he lied, or the valuer sprang the new time on them and instead of the partner being a big boy and saying sorry that doesn't work for us, which is a perfectly reasonable response; he texts OP and expects her to jump to it.

If that'd been me, in bed with a young baby and the house a tip, DH texting me to say I had potentially 10 minutes to "sort" the house? I'd have been fucking frantic.

DZbornak · 03/10/2023 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TiredMamOfTwo · 03/10/2023 10:29

You should of had sorted the house yesterday surely? You was extremely rude.

Original poster
PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:29

@MargotBamborough he thought they were coming at midday.

At least now I know the house doesn’t need to be pristine for valuations. As I said, I’ve never sold a house, bought a house or had valuations before. DP told me to sort the house out, so I was doing it in line with how I’ve done it in the past for viewings.

OP posts:
20cheeseomelette · 03/10/2023 10:30

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:23

Regarding the time of the appointment - see my last post. DP says it was automatically booked for 8am and he didn’t see it himself until 7.50am.

I wasn’t ‘up and about’ either. The text woke me up, I was still in bed and at the same time the baby started fussing for a feed.

So really this is the agents cock up. They let your DP think he was making an appt for around 1pm, then when it was scheduled for a usually early time, they didn’t confirm the appointment beforehand. They should know better.

I don’t know why so many people are giving you grief but I am sure that in reality most people don’t want to be woken up to be told to let a stranger into your house in 10 minutes time, even without a new born baby Flowers

Mrsttcno1 · 03/10/2023 10:30

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:23

Regarding the time of the appointment - see my last post. DP says it was automatically booked for 8am and he didn’t see it himself until 7.50am.

I wasn’t ‘up and about’ either. The text woke me up, I was still in bed and at the same time the baby started fussing for a feed.

This is the actual issue, it’s got nothing to do with the valuer who knocked or didn’t knock.

If you want to be irritated with someone then be irritated at DP for not checking the appointment time, and for not having the house ready and prepared the day before ready for the viewing. The valuer turned up at the time they were told to, was told by your partner that you needed time to get sorted and would let him in when ready, and then was left waiting for 45 mins. I’d be angry too if I was him!

Hyppogriff · 03/10/2023 10:31

You are so unreasonable here !!!

littlebopeepp234 · 03/10/2023 10:32

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:23

Regarding the time of the appointment - see my last post. DP says it was automatically booked for 8am and he didn’t see it himself until 7.50am.

I wasn’t ‘up and about’ either. The text woke me up, I was still in bed and at the same time the baby started fussing for a feed.

And? Why not just go to the door and explain the situation and tell him it wasn’t an appropriate time rather than just leave him stood outside! You sound extremely rude and entitled if you feel someone should wait outside while you sort your baby and the house! All you needed to do was just open the door and tell him you was told midday - 1pm and asked if he could have come back later or rescheduled for another day! Also op you was ‘up and about’ because the text woke you and you got up to sort the baby! There are no excuses I’m afraid!

Original poster
PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:32

@MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking That’s exactly what I was, frantic and panicked. I was trying to feed the baby, tidy up and get myself ready, I was actually in tears at one point (not saying that to illicit sympathy from the users on here that think I have been a dick)!

OP posts:
Thewizardbinbag · 03/10/2023 10:33

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:32

@MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking That’s exactly what I was, frantic and panicked. I was trying to feed the baby, tidy up and get myself ready, I was actually in tears at one point (not saying that to illicit sympathy from the users on here that think I have been a dick)!

But why didn’t you both tidy the house yesterday? Why leave it for today? It makes no sense.

And how bad could your house possibly have been? What state are you living in that you couldn’t let someone into your home?

Topseyt123 · 03/10/2023 10:34

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:15

Spoken to DP again.

So yesterday, the valuer phoned and asked what appointment he wanted. He mentioned around 1pm. Then an automated booking system gave us the appointment of 8am. DP only saw the appointment at 7.50am
this morning and because their offices don’t open until 8.30am, there was nothing he could do to change it.

That's fine. Even more reason why you should simply have let him in.

Valuations are not dependent on a show home tidy and freshly deep cleaned house. If they were then many of us would be living in houses worth zero.

Snowinjulyy · 03/10/2023 10:35

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 09:43

When DP mentioned someone coming for a valuation, he said it would be around 1pm, so to get a text at 7.50am saying the valuer could be there in 10 minutes was a complete surprise.

DP just said he’d let the valuer know I needed more time and I was to let him in the house. The valuer didn’t knock or let me know he was there. I’ve no idea whether he was on the doorstep, in his car, in the cafe next door as he never made his presence known to me. All communication was via DP.

Sounds like a miscommunication to me. He thought you knew he was outside.

It's cheeky of the estate agents to message on the day in the morning and say actually we're coming right now and can't do later, if you'd arranged for the afternoon. So I don't feel too bad for him having to wait.

Original poster
PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:35

@littlebopeepp234 I asked DP if it could be rescheduled or if I could go and say exactly that to the valuer, DP said no it had to be now.

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 03/10/2023 10:35

HMW1906 · 03/10/2023 10:17

You’re both TA for different reasons.

YTA for leaving the valuer outside for 45 minutes. You knew he was there why does he need to knock for you to open the door to him.

Your DP is TA for arranging it for 8am without any advance notice when he was going to be out of the house when you have a 4 week old baby.

But really you should’ve opened the door to the poor guy.

They're teaching assistants now????? 🧐 Is that supposed to be an insult or something? Quite rude to a profession.

Original poster
PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:36

@littlebopeepp234 The baby is next to our bed in a ‘next to me’ cot. I’m not sure rolling over bleary eyed to feed them constitutes being ‘up and about’.

OP posts:
fridaynight1 · 03/10/2023 10:39

Even if you didn’t know what time the valuer would be coming, you did know he would be coming today so baby or not I think both you and your DP should have been more prepared.

It was rude not to let him in when you knew he was there.
I hope you are a bit more organised for viewings - you will never sell it if you don’t let folk in!

And also saying, your house needs to be permanently tidy when you are selling ..
Are you sure you actually want to move? It sounds to me like you don’t.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 03/10/2023 10:39

20cheeseomelette · 03/10/2023 10:30

So really this is the agents cock up. They let your DP think he was making an appt for around 1pm, then when it was scheduled for a usually early time, they didn’t confirm the appointment beforehand. They should know better.

I don’t know why so many people are giving you grief but I am sure that in reality most people don’t want to be woken up to be told to let a stranger into your house in 10 minutes time, even without a new born baby Flowers

Show quote history

Right but the mature and adult thing for OP to do was to answer the door, say "sorry you can't come in we would have cancelled if we'd known it was at this time I have a newborn thanks bye" then close the door again.
Or for OP's DH to text the valuer to say the same thing.
Not leave the poor bastard on the doorstep just because he hadn't knocked even though he'd messaged which a lot of people do these days (rightly or wrongly).

littlebopeepp234 · 03/10/2023 10:40

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:35

@littlebopeepp234 I asked DP if it could be rescheduled or if I could go and say exactly that to the valuer, DP said no it had to be now.

If your dp said it had to be now though, why did you leave the poor valuer on the doorstep and not let him in?? Or at least explain to him why you couldn’t let him in. Whatever you say op, it is not fair to leave someone just stood outside waiting and not even bother to either let them in or explain why you can’t let them in or ask to reschedule.

mrsbyers · 03/10/2023 10:40

45 mins to change a nappy and a quick run around ? It’s not like he was there to take photos - you were out of order but your husband should have taken time to help you prepare

Sehenswürdigkeiten · 03/10/2023 10:42

The unreasonable one here is DP - it should have been arranged with more notice for you and for a time that suited you better.

littlebopeepp234 · 03/10/2023 10:42

PottyPet · 03/10/2023 10:36

@littlebopeepp234 The baby is next to our bed in a ‘next to me’ cot. I’m not sure rolling over bleary eyed to feed them constitutes being ‘up and about’.

Don’t mean to be rude! You saw your dp’s text! Your eyes were fine to read that! Even so you HEARD your phone bleep but still left the poor guy waiting outside! No matter what excuse you use to try to justify leaving him stood outside op, you are still the unreasonable one!

EaudeJavel · 03/10/2023 10:43

Valuation doesn't matter in that sense, but you'd better brace yourself. The state of your house will have an impact on the viewers opinion, and you cannot trust or rely on Estate Agents to give you accurate viewing times.

Once your property is for sale, it needs to be ready for viewings, unless you limit to weekends and open house days, but it's up to you if you really want to sell or if you want to be a difficult seller.

Gerrataere · 03/10/2023 10:43

TiredMamOfTwo · 03/10/2023 10:29

You should of had sorted the house yesterday surely? You was extremely rude.

Why should the op have done it? She’s recently given birth and wasn’t the one who’d arranged the appointment. She was also not expecting the agent to give 10 minutes notice (regardless of this being a huge drip feed). The op is being blamed for a lot of this cockup when the expectation on her was ridiculous in reality. Actually reality, not the MN version where women imagine themselves to be Kate Middleton straight after birth…

FuckingAnnoyed · 03/10/2023 10:44

You poor thing. A horrible start to the day when you've had hardly any sleep. There's no way I'd have been okay with that. I do think you misunderstood and your DP meant for you to open the door when baby was changed/fed but frankly I would not be going with an agent that has no flexibility and couldn't possibly come back later or another day at a mutually convenient time. As for your DP I'd be pretty livid - I imagine he's not the one up all night!