What happened to those people who never found a partner?

[OnedayTwodays]

What’s their lives like?

How are they?

The ones I know are happily single in old age and having a whale of a time...

They lived happily ever after.

My Mum is 60 and doesn’t have a partner and she’s very happy - does her own thing, in her own time and her space is all hers.

The ones I know suddenly had an epiphany when they got to their early 40s or so and realised they were the lucky ones.

Now in their early 50s they are silently going "bullet dodged, thank fuck".

@Justifiedcheese

How did they find that happiness?
Do you know if it was difficult to accept not having love in their lives?
Was it difficult for them when everyone else is living very conventional lives?
How do/did other people react/treat them?

Or were they single from older age and did the marriage/kids thing already?

I'm single, most likely will stay that way and I love my life!

They are my grass is greener. I’m sure there’s downsides to being single but overall my single friends and family seem happier tbh.

Jesus. Patronising

Can confirm truth of this.

But she already obviously had a partner.
And kid(s).

They’re rich and stress free

I’m great, thanks.

Probably about like people who found a partner. Some are happy, some are unhappy.

I’m the one who didn’t find love not had a family.

Mid 40s, no-one on the horizon and haven't seen anyone since pre-Covid. Since I don't do OLD and work freelance (mostly from home these days), I don't see that situation changing.

Sometimes I feel sad. But so much of what I hear and see about men makes me think that women are so much the superior sex, that I'd be wasting myself on a bloke. .

Weird question

do you not meet us out and about, living our lives?

Yup. Sounds like 'oh, poor little single women'. Wonder if it's in the same camp as the women who are weirdly superior to call themselves Mrs.
Anyway. I'm one of them. Mid-40s. Have had three serious long-term relationships; one engagement. The last relationship broke up through pressure from infertility, IVF, etc. I suspect I'm now too old/fat/boring to meet anyone else. Well, not really; but I have quite a few really close friends who are also single and childless. We enjoy trips away, activities, studies, challenging jobs - and like meeting up with our friends who do have partners and families too.
My one niggle is what I'll do at Xmas, when I'm old (ridiculous, I know), but I've told my siblings, and nieces/nephews that they have to include me. 😂

Assuming that this is about you OP, and you're unhappy about growing older without a partner, really you have two choices -

1. Throw yourself totally into finding a partner. Treat it like a second job, go on loads of dates, get on every dating site etc.

1. Make a conscious decision to focus on all of the good things about your single life. All of the freedoms you have, choices you can make, things you can do etc. Every time it starts to feel like the grass is greener elsewhere, refuse to indulge that thought, and remind yourself of all that you have.

It's my sister. Without a doubt, the happiest person I know. Totally comfortable with herself. Totally at peace. It took her a lot of practicing mindfulness but her calm levels are insane. She does have occasional boyfriends, but if they don't tick absolute every single one of her boxes, she waves them bye. Safe in the knowledge she was happy before they came along, and she'll be happy after. She goes many years in between!

I have never met someone's male partner and thought, lucky them.
I had a big love of my life, they married someone else. Sometimes it's a regret but mostly I know the reality of reltionships' compromise and day to day is far from ideal.
My mum is single. She has me and grandkids to drive her potty.
I expect I will stay single as can't imagine someone who would outweigh the benefits.
We have children and love in our lives.

I've never found a partner.

I'm 60. I have a career, a house that's almost paid for, a son who's doing well at school.

I have friends, hobbies, a pension fund which should keep me reasonably comfortably. A good life. I'd have liked a long term partner but didn't find a man who could be trusted.

I'm still luckier than most women. 😊

I think the not having children if that’s something you wanted is much more difficult. I would be happy single, but a big part of that is already having my children.
I do know some that haven’t though and they seem happy.

Just because someone doesn't have a partner doesn't mean they don't have love in their lives. There are more types of love than just romantic.

do you not meet us out and about, living our lives?

No, not really.
Of course I don’t know relationship status for every person I briefly meet.
But those who I know about are in relationships, married, dating, casual arrangements because that’s what they want, have kids…..
I don’t know others who are long term single / never had any luck / missed out on having kids.

The way you talk of "they" "them" is weird. Like you expect us to be talking of someone else other than ourselves. Very othering. I suggest you look at how you view single people as somehow on the outside perhaps? I would seek counselling.