What happened to those people who never found a partner?

[OnedayTwodays]

What’s their lives like?

How are they?

How old are you OP? Are you young enough to have a child alone?

With regards to how to do people react to her, in her thirties she used to get a lot of 'clock ticking' irritating remarks which she did used to get defensive about. But a decade later, she gives off such 'cool' vibes, that people almost don't dare ask. I can't explain it. She makes it clear without saying a word that it would be insulting and demeaning to ask her if she had a boyfriend.

Many of us settled for someone we don’t love. You need someone reliable, especially as you get older and have various health issues. Obviously it’s devastating to know you never found love - our entire culture is based around it. Romantic movies used to feel hopeful to watch but now they’re just hurtful knowing you’ll never have that. But you console yourself that at least you have someone to drive you to hospital or make the dinner if you’re not well enough.

From what I've seen, they are happier and healthier.

I had 2 marriages, now single for good.
The constant pressure of always having to bring my A game, centering a man, constantly having to be entertaining, funny and keep a happy face for the other person, I found that it’s just too draining and at the end of the day I felt empty and tired.

Being single now makes me feel alive, free, and full of energy. You can really find the things you want from a relationship in yourself.

Honestly, when I see what my friends go through for the sake of having a bloke around, that's what I think.

Anyone I know who never found a partner (by which I expect you mean got married and had children) is absolutely fine. My neighbour is in her 60s, lives alone, never married, no kids. Four holidays a year, plays golf, gardens, works full-time, sees her nieces and nephews. She’s a great neighbour, friendly, approachable, gutted that we’re moving soon and can’t take her with us!

Yes, many already here have said that they have kids, so it’s very different situation.

I’m also an only child, so no siblings/their children for love.
My parents are emotionally totally unavailable, so no live there.

I guess friends could care to some degree, but everyone is so busy living and loving with their partners and kids (as it should be) that there isin’t much there.
And still it’s not the same as building a life together and having a deep, meaningful relationship.

😂
Never can win!

It’s because sometimes when single/childree people come
here for advise, they are met with ”THIS MUMSNET, don’t you see the word mum? Of course were going to be partnered up and have kids”!!!

So I thought I cast a wider net and ask in a general way, in case people know someone who is in this situation.

Wow there’s some examples of rtft- op is talking about herself, calm down!

Being single does not equate with 'never had any luck.'

From friends -
Those who wanted a partner are a bit sad about not having one, but seeing friends and living their life.
Those who did not want a partner are happy.

Women who do not want a partner and are single are statistically the happiest women.

Did you mean never having had a partner or had one at one point but then not again?
My sister has never married or had a boyfriend since her 20s (now 63). She has a busy social life, a good career as a doctor, and several hobbies. I think on balance she does value companionship and that she may miss it as she ages, but I'd don't think she's less happy or that she compares herself to anyone, after all she has plenty of single as well as couple friends.
I have been single since my husband passed away when I was in my 40s. I'm 61. My kids were small then (my youngest is now 18 and still at home). It would be nice if I had a man in my life but I don't, and listening to half my friends moan about their husbands feel ok about it.

My close relative is in her mid-forties, never married, no children, never wanted either. She lives a very happy life of solitude. She has a high-paying job, and takes herself on expensive holidays whenever she fancies. Adores her pet too. She's happy and never wanted different.

How patronising! I am single by choice (not short of offers, just perfectly content alone). I have no desire for a relationship and I get nothing out of them. I have lots of friends and do what I want when I feel like. I don’t feel sad or like I’m missing out. I actually look at people in relationships and shudder! It’s not for me.

My one niggle is what I'll do at Xmas, when I'm old (ridiculous, I know), but I've told my siblings, and nieces/nephews that they have to include me. 😂

@HollaHolla plenty of married people worry about Christmas when they’re old, one of you is bound to die before the other

OP, I think it’s more about the lack of love from your parents here. That’s a big hole to fill. I don’t know how you’d start other than counselling tbh. Single, childless people can of course have rich lives and married people with children can be bloody miserable. It doesn’t sound like you’ve had an easy start, and that’s probably more what you need help working through, I’d guess?

I was married for 12 years, but for the rest of my 64 years of life I've been single - and tbh I never planned on marrying in the first place, it just sort of happened (no regrets however). I love being single and in the 20 years since my exDH and I separated I haven't bothered looking for anyone else. No children as I never wanted any, my parents are dead, and I have no siblings.

I'm very happy and content with my life.

Most single people I know do have partners on and off. They also have very busy social lives and lots of friends. I guess there's a trade off between doing exactly as you like and being lonely at times. On the other hand you can also be lonely in a bad relationship.

They are living contented and fulfilling lives, no doubt. What utter BS to suggest you can only be happy if you have a partner!

OP, I think your opening post was misleading.

You can build whatever life you want. What decade are you in?

Exactly this!

I think life is a series of Trade Offs really.Many people who are married have "settled" for the sake of an "easy " life .Having a partner in hard times , 2 people to pay the bills and so on. Single people may have to work harder ,but only have themselves to please .No mess about ,can do what you want ,easier to progress Career wise .I think everyone feels lonely at times though, also many people can get divorced or widowed .Maybe you would benefit from some counselling to talk through your parents lack of connection ?

Alright, alright.
I framed my post badly, I do apologize.
Honestly, I didn’t know there was such strong feelings about this subject (in the way it has been here).
And everywhere all I hear is love this and love that and partners and kids is all that matters.
And I guess wanting, but not having it has made ME sad.
I’m sorry so many took my pist in a way that I was
-something negative- about single people.
Again, I really did not think it would ve taken that way.
I’m sorry.
If I can just say that, I just don’t know any people like me (single, having no luck on that front and doesn’t have kids), so I just wanted to hear how they are doing.
That’s all.

And also, how they did that.
And they feel about it / is it isolating (since vast majority live so very differently).