What happened to those people who never found a partner?

[OnedayTwodays]

What’s their lives like?

How are they?

In my experience, they have very successful careers, travel a lot, own beautiful houses and look younger than their age because they can afford regular treatments and stress free time

I have a good mate like this. She seems pretty happy. The main downside is financial.

I think some single people are very happy and fulfilled and some aren't , just like married /coupled up people.

Who’d have thought it, hey? 🤣

In most instances in my sphere they developed a very healthy love for themselves - spending time doing what they loved, spending money on things that brought them comfort and security and being very supportive friends. I’m not sure whether they struggled to get there - perhaps some did but they seem very happy.

DH has a friend like this, he was briefly married about 15 years ago. Seems completely content, has no desire for any strings at all. TBF he isn't short of female company, but definitely doesn't want to live together or settle down.

I have never lived alone, I'd quite like to do it at some stage, must be very freeing.

Statistically, single women are happier than married ones. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert Husbands are happier married, because they get a free live in servant.

Well my friend does lots of travelling - with friends, to friends, all without having to pander to anyone she doesn't want to. Her life is full of people she cares about and care about her. She does a lot of volunteer work (took early retirement) for a very worthy charity.

She DID want kids but it's not like she's lacking in people her own age and people the age kids would be and now we're having babies she gets proxy grandkids / great niblings.

I have friends who are in their 40s and still single, one does a lot of travelling, has a good job and co-owns a house, the other has recently brought her own home, enjoys her niblings and spending time with friends.

I don't think any of the have the time to sit at home wondering about all those old friends who found a partner, wondering what their lives are like and how miserable they are

Haha love this

A family friend of ours just died single at 89 having had a wonderful life. Full of love, fun and doing whatever she pleased.
I think for women being single can me being happier than most married mothers.

wondering about all those old friends who found a partner, wondering what their lives are like and how miserable they are

Wvy would anyone do that, why would they miserable, they have it all?

Right? I realize my answer isn't very exciting. You can really tell who has what agenda by how they answer that question...😂

That was badly made ’study’ and has been debunked:

https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married-women-miserable-fake-paul-dolan-happiness

My oldest friend is single in her 60s. She lives in a small town where she has built a friendship group of women who are mostly in her situation. They have a ball together, support each other through life's ups and downs and are the happiest, most well balanced, wise, content, gentle, funny, adventurous group of women you could ever hope to meet.

Just get on with your life.
We're older and have several male friends who never married. When they accepted that it was likely they wouldn't marry or have children they just got on with enjoying life.

I think the only real downside they have is sickness or other issues that can be difficult alone. One recently had a day surgery and needed to arrange to have someone stay overnight, instead he stayed with us.
Someone else had an accident and his dog needed looking after. Just basic things like that. We do look in on each other as we don't want one of our friends to be the one found dead, rotten on the floor for three months because nobody checked.

These things though have nothing to do with never having a partner, more a problem of people who are alone. No doubt DH or I will fall into that category at some stage.

And there are some of us who don't have careers, never travel, rent ordinary flats, don't get regular treaments - and are still blissfully happy

Male here. Heterosexual, decent looks (girl friends in my teens /university years), professional job, kind and caring. But, after years at university, by the time I'd any kind of financial independence (late 20s), there were few potential partners left - I was 'left on the shelf'. Didn't help that, I was quite reserved, and worked in a totally male academic job - which meant I sat in a room on my own every day. And this before the days of internet dating. So how did one meet potential partners ?

Would I have liked to find a life partner ? Yes, but, sadly, it didn't happen.

So again you're saying you're only living a fulfilled life if you have a partner and children. Having a partner & children isn't 'having it all' It might be to some but a relationship doesn't define you

Its not 1950.

Go read the relationship board see how things are working out for people 'who have it all' 🙄

Living life like everyone else I suppose unless you feel they are sobbing every minute of the day due to their failure of not having a partner?

The grass is always greener on the other side (except sometimes it's really not)

Well, I am like you OP, and I’m doing okay at the moment.

I, like you, have no single friends. It is lonely sometimes.

However, I am not jealous. I feel pretty excluded at times, but I wish other people lived more like me, I don't wish I was like them!

In theory it would be nice to meet the perfect partner (I will not settle for less).
It would also be nice to travel the world, drive a fancy car, buy a holiday home, win the lottery. I cannot have these things, and never will, and I feel OK about this.
So, I now get on with focusing on the things that I do have: I may ‘not have it all’ but my life is still a damn site better than most people in this planet, so I just focus on making the most of it!

You appear to have a very romanticised view of relationships OP. Partnered women do not 'have it all', they have a compromise, a burden, a sometime comfort, sometime frustration, some time spent daydreaming about being single etc.

If you want children and don't have them, that sense of loss I understand. It's more 'either / or'. Partners can appear or disappear at any time of life.

How old are you? Are you in a position to have a child alone, if that's what you really want?

I know two people who have never had any form of relationship/fling/romantic interest. One is late thirties and the other early forties.

They are both content with their lives and enjoy doing whatever they want, whenever they want.
Both have plenty of spare cash to enjoy and seem fulfilled in their lives.
I suspect one of them wants to find someone one day but has no current plans to.
The other would happily build a 10 foot electric fence around themself 🤣

43 Been single for 7 years.
dont want to ever have a partner ever again as the ones I had, all 3 of them, sucked ass and I didn't really love them I just stayed with them because society expects...

anywho.

My life is fantastic.
I do what I want.
I go where I want.
I avoid people as much as humanly possible.
I don't have anyone but my kid to worry about, no drama, no nonsense.
I read some of the threads on here and I just don't understand why women tolerate it.

My life is 8/10 - a partner would need to make it 10/10 for me to even consider tolerating them.

I’m 46, no kids , divorced my cheating ex husband last year. It’s been an adjustment- but I doubt I will ever live with or have a romantic relationship in the future- it’s dire out there. I’m happy to find a FWB , I have a fulfilling social life with my friends and I live alone in my perfect little flat. I’m happy!