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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

As a man, should I post on MN

317 replies

Dadfromthesea · 02/10/2023 10:03

I love the MN forums. More often than not I just read them, as they’re useful from a parenting point of view and often very funny to boot. I occasionally comment. I’ve started one thread ever, before this one.

Saw a thread this morning about a perceived rise in ‘women hating’ men posting on here. I’m definitely not one of those, and would be mortified to come across as one. But before long the thread started talking about men in general, and whether or not they should be posting at all on a forum called Mumsnet that’s predominantly aimed at women.

I get the need for women-only spaces, and would hate to intrude on one unintentionally.

So as a man, as a dad, am I being unreasonable by posting on Mumsnet? If the consensus is that I am, then I’ll stop.

OP posts:
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6
Siameasy · 02/10/2023 11:35

I think it’s ok and there is quite alot of anti male sentiment here so good luck!

SageRosemary · 02/10/2023 11:43

@Dadfromthesea, you are already a legend in your own lifetime from your other thread! Lots of us would like some more entertainment from you - and an update on your "situation". And your user name suggests you are a man so that's to be welcomed too.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2023 11:45

Of course you can post here. The name is 'Mumsnet' but the motto is 'by parents, for parents'. And in fact, it's open to anyone who can post within the talk guidelines - as proved by there now being a 'childfree' board.

Personally I've usually found it helpful when blokes have a name which signals they're blokes, such as yours - this is an unusual site in being 'default female' as you found on your recent thread. As that thread made it into the talk roundup clearly MNHQ has no issue with you!

FrodoBagginsToeHair · 02/10/2023 11:46

A lot of MN users are weird and just love to police the boards for anyone who isn’t a mum. So much so that MN set up a childfree section so that every post about not having children didn’t descend into “wtf are you doing on MN if you don’t have kids”.

just don’t start any posts with “speaking as a man” because you will get absolutely jumped on

BarbaraofSeville · 02/10/2023 11:49

You're OK if you're not a 'woman hating' man and don't mansplain or generally expect your opinion or advice to be given more weight, especially on 'women's issues' like period, childbirth, menopause etc.

<intrigued, goes off to find your other thread>

Keepithidden · 02/10/2023 11:50

You'll be fine, I've been here 10+ years. Learnt a lot, been corrected even more! It's a great place to get advice from people who are typically on the "other side of the equation" to us.

Just make sure you recognise the difference between class and personal when it comes to discussions!

Fulshaw · 02/10/2023 11:51

I welcome a bloke’s perspective to be honest, it helps to see things differently

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2023 11:51

As to 'women hating threads' - they've always existed. The feminism boards used to get trolled a lot by MRA types though that's not been so apparent recently (maybe because there's a lot more traffic there so the late night misogynists don't stand out and get ignored).

I think there's been a rise in anti men threads - for which reason I welcome decent blokes who demonstrate that 'not all men are like that' . Not pontificating or pouting, not being 'Nice Guys'.

YouJustDoYou · 02/10/2023 11:52

I like a male viewpoint, it helps balance things out sometimes.

ohdamnitjanet · 02/10/2023 11:52

I think MN would grieve if we never heard from you again @Dadfromthesea
I always like to hear a man’s point of view, sometimes women on here are obviously batshit crazy.

DuploTrain · 02/10/2023 11:53

I like that’s it’s clear from your username that you’re a man. And if you’re not a “woman-hating man”, then that other thread isn’t directed at you!

Watchkeys · 02/10/2023 11:53

It's a matter of opinion, and not up to any individual to tell you where you should and shouldn't be. If you post unpopular opinions and feel unpopular, then you're probably in the wrong place, but the site is for parents, not mothers.

It's up to you: stay if you like it, just like the rest of us. Your sex is irrelevant unless you're making a point about it.

BarnacleBeasley · 02/10/2023 11:53

I think anyone can post, but some threads by men stand out as being a bit odd if they have nothing to do with being a parent. Having said that, your last thread wasn't really about parenting but it was very much in the mumsnet style, so much so that no-one noticed you weren't a woman (despite the very large clue in your username) for quite a few pages. The men that don't seem to belong on a parenting forum are the ones that just post about their non-child-related relationship problems for advice about why their girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with them.

mollythemaid · 02/10/2023 11:55

I'd say it's fine but as long as you stay in safe areas like aibu, chat, Christmas, general parenting etc.
We do need woman's only spaces, and I'll be honest, I don't like the number of men who seem to be commenting on posts in the relationships or divorce boards. We go there for female solitary and support and when posting are probably feeling a bit "man hating" and fancy a rant. Please respect that. Also the feminism board, read it by all means, but maybe don't post your views? As a Caucasian person I wouldn't dream of going into the black mumsnet section and telling everyone their are wrong and posting my opinion etc
Stay in your lane iykwim

PictureConsequences · 02/10/2023 11:55

I searched for your name but can't find your other thread! Have fomo now!

Jillybloop393 · 02/10/2023 11:57

Oh please keep posting - you have a bit of a fan club here, you know!

DuploTrain · 02/10/2023 12:01

I very much enjoyed the other thread. It is peak mumsnet. Maybe you could start cutting little holes in the shroud, very gradually until one day it’s more hole than shroud.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2023 12:11

Also the feminism board, read it by all means, but maybe don't post your views?

Or at least, read and think before jumping in. There are one or two blokes who understand being a feminist ally who occasionally contribute, generally on threads where it's useful to have a male perspective or contributing relevant information.

Iheartmysmart · 02/10/2023 12:14

Personally I find the female posters who are constantly trying to excuse twatty male behaviour far more irritating than the occasional male poster. No he’s not neurodiverse or stressed, he’s just a nasty twat.

ilovemydogmore · 02/10/2023 12:15

Personally I come on mumsnet for a community of women. There are plenty of other sites out there that have a broader focus (e.g. reddit).

I wouldn't dream of joining a site for dads and start sharing my opinions 'as a mum'. It's a very male thing to do to be honest.

jellyfrizz · 02/10/2023 12:19

Just post - no need to announce that you are a man (or not) unless it's relevant.

Whereforartthoudave · 02/10/2023 12:20

Of course you should post. I mean I ignore most comments from men - when it’s obvious they are men- because they are often the exact opposite of what I think/ believe but don’t let that stop you!

Stripeypyjamas · 02/10/2023 12:24

Just be sure to say "well actually" at the beginning of every post so we can tell.