As a man, should I post on MN

[Dadfromthesea]

I love the MN forums. More often than not I just read them, as they’re useful from a parenting point of view and often very funny to boot. I occasionally comment. I’ve started one thread ever, before this one.

Saw a thread this morning about a perceived rise in ‘women hating’ men posting on here. I’m definitely not one of those, and would be mortified to come across as one. But before long the thread started talking about men in general, and whether or not they should be posting at all on a forum called Mumsnet that’s predominantly aimed at women.

I get the need for women-only spaces, and would hate to intrude on one unintentionally.

So as a man, as a dad, am I being unreasonable by posting on Mumsnet? If the consensus is that I am, then I’ll stop.

What are you here for?

What makes Mumsnet different to Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, if it's not predominantly for women?

Perhaps the fact that although it's always been open to both sexes, it actually is predominantly women? Someone upthread mentioned it being 90:10 F:M

Sensible formatting

Having (afaik) mainly women in charge of it probably makes a difference too.

Yes, this! I struggle to navigate Reddit, and the other three mentioned aren’t discussion forums.

I feel a bit guilty coming on here. I was a step-grandparent of sorts, but my husband of 27 years died over two years ago and his kids and grandchild have gone NC. (Don't be caught referring to your husband's ex as a 'bunny boiler' after she has tried to interfere with the funeral arrangements. No, he didn't have an affair - she did.)

If I hadn't seen some of the posts coming up on FB, I wouldn't have ventured in. If I thought that there was strength of feeling that this forum was for genuine parents only, I would retreat with no ill will.

I think it was @beastlyslumber who posted this bit and quite honestly I hadn't thought about it when I posted earlier, but it's actually true.

Imagine if a woman had posted this. Comments would be along the lines of "attention-seeking much, OP?" and "Why do you need so much reassurance? Are you always this needy?" and "Is this a TAAT? Reported."

For the man who posted (and got deleted) earlier, there are several men here whose names I recognise. They post with kindness, empathy and stick to the point and are very welcome. And then there are others who don't but claim victimisation. I politely suggest it isn't a man thing but a you thing.

Yeah, I can see that. (I was/am the namechanger.) I had a salutary experience once where the thread derailed because it became about the sex of the posters, including me, and who had the right to comment on what. Details aren't really important, but I'd rather not mess up things like that again. Sometimes I feel a bit "damned if you do, damned if you don't" but we probably all feel like that about different things.

Yeah, I can see that. (I was/am the namechanger.) I had a salutary experience once where the thread derailed because it became about the sex of the posters, including me, and who had the right to comment on what. Details aren't really important, but I'd rather not mess up things like that again. Sometimes I feel a bit "damned if you do, damned if you don't" but we probably all feel like that about different things

you could just don’t. Try that

If you're a man who wants to post on MN there will be women who aren't thrilled about it. So like everything in life where you meet opposition you have the usual three choices. Comply, defy or lie.
Personally I wish you'd all just pick one and get on with it, rather than all this centering of your presence and over inflation of your importance on a site where you make up less than 10% of users.

Agree. We've more than heard enough from them on everything for at least the last thousands of years.

I actually think it’s really easy to rebrand and call it something more inclusive so there aren’t misunderstandings but I think they want to keep attracting more women because they want to keep the same vibe, they know full well if they started marketing it towards men and too many men joined, it would become a load of rubbish and lose its appeal both for general public and journos 😂

Ohmigosh @Dadfromthesea where have you gone during this debate. You’ve not been here at all today?! I am your biggest fan and your first post was amazing. Just what mumsnet was waiting for! Come back!

I'd imagine he's read the room and knows that while he can post, it's sometimes better not to?

I am so here for dad's / men posting and contributing to threads! How refreshing and wonderful! Please continue you are very welcome here in my opinion! X

oh boohoo, what woman hasn't struggled with mean cliquey mummys at playgroups?
there's so many women parenting without male involvement does that mean we're welcome in all male spaces now?

parenting doesn't come naturally for a lot of women either
your friend is not both mum and dad, he's just the dad so if he wants to use these sites for information on parenting, nobody is stopping him , i'd rather he not announce that he's male for special attention though , nobodys going to know he's male unless he tells everybody

haha im not buying that
by your logic, you could've called it dadsnet too because it doesn't matter right?
but you didnt because you knew that the main users would be women
this is male pandering 101

haha im not buying that
by your logic, you could've called it dadsnet too because it doesn't matter right?
but you didnt because you knew that the main users would be women
this is male pandering 101

This.

This is never been a women's only
Space .

There used to
Be several male members . All welcome . Piglet John ? Really
Helpful plumber ? Anyone ?

What the fuck is up with this site these days ? It's for PARENTS .

You can't police the internet and claim a parenting site as a female space!

God does ANYONE have a recommendation for a normal bloody parenting forum please ?
Like "raising kids " used to be ?

Actually this just shows
Something about what mm us become .
It's discriminatory.
It's hostile .
It's up it's own arse now due to the demographic
It's nasty
It's not inclusive at all .

I'm a woman . And ashamed of this pathetic thread .

Oh right…. Is someone holding a gun to your head whilst you log in and post or something?

@5128gap hear hear.

This is the internet. Anyone can post anywhere. Everyone knows that there is male presence on this site, and no-one's posting in the expectation that their posts will be read exclusively by women, by mothers, or by any other category of people. But the posters that announce themselves like:

"Male opinion"
"Hello, man here"
"I am a male poster..."

Oh my God, stop. Just post, or don't.

How can we little ladies bow down to their pround words of wisdom if they don't annouce it first.

This. It’s actually kind of sociologically interesting, in a depressing sort of way — if you’re used to male privilege in RL, I suppose you need to try to replicate it in online scenarios where you’re just mucking in with the women, by faux-humble self-annnouncements.