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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

As a man, should I post on MN

317 replies

Dadfromthesea · 02/10/2023 10:03

I love the MN forums. More often than not I just read them, as they’re useful from a parenting point of view and often very funny to boot. I occasionally comment. I’ve started one thread ever, before this one.

Saw a thread this morning about a perceived rise in ‘women hating’ men posting on here. I’m definitely not one of those, and would be mortified to come across as one. But before long the thread started talking about men in general, and whether or not they should be posting at all on a forum called Mumsnet that’s predominantly aimed at women.

I get the need for women-only spaces, and would hate to intrude on one unintentionally.

So as a man, as a dad, am I being unreasonable by posting on Mumsnet? If the consensus is that I am, then I’ll stop.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
PoseasRadicalActuallyMisogynistic · 02/10/2023 17:38

Whenever men appear they change the vibe

PoseasRadicalActuallyMisogynistic · 02/10/2023 17:43

A third of women have voted that you shouldn’t keep posting, you’re taking that as resounding approval. Typical male privilege

Phos · 02/10/2023 18:01

ilovemydogmore · 02/10/2023 16:35

People join niche spaces and communities online because they want to feel identified, or to get advice from people who have gone through the same thing. Mumsnet's whole thing is that it's 'for mums'.
It doesn't mean men and women can't contribute to a discussion together - but how about you just find somewhere that isn't called mumsnet to do so

Show quote history

Yet the childfree board is fine?

SammyScrounge · 02/10/2023 18:03

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 02/10/2023 14:09

I agree.

Show quote history

Ditto.

SammyScrounge · 02/10/2023 18:04

Phos · 02/10/2023 18:01

Yet the childfree board is fine?

Show quote history

They are women so if course they are fine.

Davros · 02/10/2023 18:05

No

HernesEgg · 02/10/2023 18:08

SammyScrounge · 02/10/2023 18:04

They are women so if course they are fine.

Show quote history

Yes. I was childfree for 40 years, and pretty sure I didn’t suddenly become a woman when the sperm met the egg.

Talktothefax · 02/10/2023 18:08

Perhaps as long as you don’t start threads asking women to justify your existence here whilst expecting them to praise you?

try that

PhantomUnicorn · 02/10/2023 18:09

PoseasRadicalActuallyMisogynistic · 02/10/2023 17:43

A third of women have voted that you shouldn’t keep posting, you’re taking that as resounding approval. Typical male privilege

Then maybe those posters should stop posting here and go elsewhere, because MNHQ themselves have made it clear that Dads/Men are as welcome to post here as the rest of us, and if they have such a problem sharing the space, this clearly isn't the forum for them.

PaprikaPlease · 02/10/2023 18:10

My partner is always lurking round here! Loves much of the content but has never posted.

ToddlerMama27 · 02/10/2023 18:13

I waited until I had my baby to join as I assumed you had to be a mum to join with it being in the name but apparently not 🤷‍♀️

EaudeJavel · 02/10/2023 18:14

post away, shame you have to ask that in 2023, and a few posters screaming at the idea of a man on a parenting forum are not representative of the majority of posters who believe and live with equal roles at home, and at work.

EaudeJavel · 02/10/2023 18:17

PoseasRadicalActuallyMisogynistic · 02/10/2023 17:43

A third of women have voted that you shouldn’t keep posting, you’re taking that as resounding approval. Typical male privilege

so men are not welcome in parenting forums now? So we get the kids, the kitchen and the brooms and they get sports and fun? Is that the point you are trying to make?

Only mothers on Mumsnet? Do you allow women who adopted, or must it be only for those who have given birth, and a vaginal birth only? Just so we clear who is allowed here or not for you...

CurlewKate · 02/10/2023 18:18

@ColdEvenings "I assume the poster knows what they're talking about if offering advice or guidance. Don't need to know what sex they are!!"

Because while much of human experience is common to both men and women, some isn't. As a woman, I wouldn't try to offer my views on men's issues-and I would rather men didn't share theirs about women's. But if they do, I want to know that it's a man talking. And this thread has made me feel that even more strongly. The level of "Oh, he's such a good dad-he changed a nappy!" energy is strong.....

Talktothefax · 02/10/2023 18:19

I’ve just realised it was you who wrote that Indiana Jones thread. Makes sense now that you’re a man. It’s the self congratulatory ‘banter’ tone. And to think some people on here are clamouring ‘please write a book’ because a man has done the amazing thing of writing one post that interested them. Could the thousands of thousands of funny female post authors on here write a book?

At least they probably wouldn’t write a diatribe bowing their hat and asking for praise….

Phos · 02/10/2023 18:23

SammyScrounge · 02/10/2023 18:04

They are women so if course they are fine.

Show quote history

The person I responded to gave the rationale that mumsnet’s whole thing is it’s for mums. So how do you reckon that one out?

Rubyruby2222 · 02/10/2023 18:30

Has anyone got a link to the previous post?

Tinkerbyebye · 02/10/2023 18:43

@Dadfromthesea They say the same about single women, youngsters who post on her, and grandparents who should use gransnet

as far as I am concerned anyones welcome as long as they abide by the rules

your first post was a classic!

5128gap · 02/10/2023 18:44

Oh dear. I think OP you're about to fall victim to the fickle mistress that is fame. They've raised you and your post to the dizzying heights, and I sense the backlash is fast approaching.
First we make them, then we break them... 😂

Moonshine5 · 02/10/2023 18:46

@ilovemydogmore I agree

Bertiesmum3 · 02/10/2023 18:46

ive got no problem with a man posting, just be aware there are some really awful brutal people on here who love to bash men

Tinkerbyebye · 02/10/2023 18:51

PoseasRadicalActuallyMisogynistic · 02/10/2023 17:43

A third of women have voted that you shouldn’t keep posting, you’re taking that as resounding approval. Typical male privilege

And 71% say they have no problem

lets guess who are the more intolerant hey?

its 2023, it’s a parenting forum in the main, although the childless also post ( or are you saying they shouldn’t) as there is a vast wealth of information on many subjects that affect those with and without children

men are parents, some are even single parents, and are just as likely to need support, ask questions as women

StephanieSuperpowers · 02/10/2023 18:56

Bertiesmum3 · 02/10/2023 18:46

ive got no problem with a man posting, just be aware there are some really awful brutal people on here who love to bash men

Oh my!

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2023 19:00

Talktothefax · 02/10/2023 18:19

I’ve just realised it was you who wrote that Indiana Jones thread. Makes sense now that you’re a man. It’s the self congratulatory ‘banter’ tone. And to think some people on here are clamouring ‘please write a book’ because a man has done the amazing thing of writing one post that interested them. Could the thousands of thousands of funny female post authors on here write a book?

At least they probably wouldn’t write a diatribe bowing their hat and asking for praise….

Imo the difference isn't that he's a man, it's that (iirc) he mentioned something about writing a book.