As a man, should I post on MN

[Dadfromthesea]

I love the MN forums. More often than not I just read them, as they’re useful from a parenting point of view and often very funny to boot. I occasionally comment. I’ve started one thread ever, before this one.

Saw a thread this morning about a perceived rise in ‘women hating’ men posting on here. I’m definitely not one of those, and would be mortified to come across as one. But before long the thread started talking about men in general, and whether or not they should be posting at all on a forum called Mumsnet that’s predominantly aimed at women.

I get the need for women-only spaces, and would hate to intrude on one unintentionally.

So as a man, as a dad, am I being unreasonable by posting on Mumsnet? If the consensus is that I am, then I’ll stop.

Yep OP and this thread is demonstrating why men should not post.

Apart from piglet John that is, he can stay

Post away imo! YANBU!

Defo alright. There's a thread at the moment where OP asks a very specific question. A male poster came on and gave an opinion about the general topic without asking the question. Several posters then pointed out that it was a different issue. Male poster then called everyone Mumsnet Nazis who don't like men. Don't be like that guy and you'll be grand.

Urgh why do so many women bow down before men

It’s available to women too

People join niche spaces and communities online because they want to feel identified, or to get advice from people who have gone through the same thing. Mumsnet's whole thing is that it's 'for mums'.
It doesn't mean men and women can't contribute to a discussion together - but how about you just find somewhere that isn't called mumsnet to do so

I’m sorry if my question has come across like this.

Honestly it was just in response to another thread from someone else about men posting on here. It wasn’t a disguised humble-brag or fishing for compliments. Genuinely just felt it appropriate to proactively check people’s views on men posting, because MN is a predominantly female space, and because I’d read that some people don’t appreciate men getting involved.

It’s in that spirit that I chose a username that makes it clear I’m a man. I don’t agree that not divulging my sex is the best way forward given that I am a man and posters may think I’m a woman unless I tell them. It may be that there aren’t many times it matters, but I don’t know when those times are and I suspect they vary between individuals.

I do feel reassured to continue posting, but that’s not because of compliments about other posts of mine. It’s because most who’ve replied to this thread have said that it’s fine for men to post (and have given good tips on where/how to do so whilst remaining respectful to everyone’s needs).

I don’t bow down to man, woman nor beast and am happy to listen to anyone’s opinion as long as they aren’t being a complete twat or imbecile. Being misandric is just as distasteful a being misogynistic.

I think, if the man is decent, it's very useful for women on here on the receiving end of eg infidelity, abuse, sleazy, inappropriate behaviour etc. to see a man say it's out of order; because there may be an inclination for her to think "yes, but this is all women saying this, and they have a different perspective".

It's useful for them to see that not all men think it's ok or agree with her partner (who is usually gas lighting & head fucking her that it's normal, that all men do it, that any forum full of women saying it's not are spinster, feminist, jealous bitches etc etc.

I certainly don’t want men on this site. I recognise that this is unenforceable.

There have been a few decent male posters who are reasonable and seem like good people.

Unfortunately they seem to be outnumbered by dickheads who just normalise and minimise abuse, sleaze, infidelity, inappropriate behaviour etc. Then some mras and incest and red pillers keep popping up too.

Only if you begin ever post with 'man here...'
I can't tell you how much I love that!

Its for mums?

Er.. no it isn't

"By Parents, For Parents"

It's right there in the fucking header of the website.

Idiot pervy, unpleasant men can fuck off.. but honestly, some people need to reign in their misandry too.

Hatred of either sex is not ideal. But when you combine that hatred with a big dollop of privelege and power over those you hate, well it becomes a little bit more than 'distasteful', doesn't it? People may find some of the comments about men on MN offensive and unpleasant, but misandry is not misogyny's equal counter part.

^ This.

Of course you're welcome here and I love that you have included 'Dad' in your username. There is often this assumption here that everyone is female and homogenous, and it's just not the case.

I'd rather a mixed gender forum, the more perspectives and experience you get on a topic, the better.

From my perspective you're very welcome here. There are loads of people on here who aren't mums.
There really aren't many online forums where you can talk about such a wide range of issues: parenting, what to have for dinner, the war in Ukraine, the latest BBC drama. Basically you can talk about whatever you want on Mumsnet.
I very much welcome a diverse group of contributors - I think Mumsnet benefits from having the views of men, child free women etc expressed.

I've been posting on here for around 18 years. I think some people took a while to realise that I was male, though many knew from my username that I worked as a nanny, caring for young children.

So as a man, as a dad, am I being unreasonable by posting on Mumsnet? If the consensus is that I am, then I’ll stop.

I remember your previous thread and I found it and your style of posting very funny. But anyway, mumsnet is for parents, or those who are childless, so I'm guessing you are covered 😉

I find (most) men posting in Relationships tend to be tone deaf to the nuances that some woman have to deal with regarding their partners. Men and women usually aren't raised the same way so expectations placed on women by themselves and others are very different. Not saying you shouldn't post there but please do be careful how you word your posts.

Am I the only one that didn't think the other thread was funny?

I'm not a parent so I shouldn't be here either then! But MN can be a weird place, lots of lovely posters and support and lots of man hating LTB all men are vile predators posters. As long as you're not advertising a yoni massage I think you'll be fine.

No, I didn’t get the general hilarity, either. It read like a very rough first draft for one of those 70s sitcoms involving minor strife with neighbours to a soundtrack of canned laughter.

??? I sometimes start a post with "So" and last time I checked my body I was a woman 😬

Or should I blame being raised with four males for my posting style?

I'm always puzzled by the accusations of misandry. Calling men out on bad behaviour is not misandry. Supporting women with appalling/abusive/bone idle male partners is not misandry. That's why it's so important to understand class analysis.

I too don't underhand why menz have a user name highlighting their sex. Who cares?

I've been on here 20 years and genuinely don't care what sex the poster is. I assume the poster knows what they're talking about if offering advice or guidance. Don't need to know what sex they are!!

Although maybe not the poster who warned about getting a CCJ for recycling an Avon Booklet!!

I also really really dislike posters who say "I've asked hubby and he thinks..."

Or "Man here and I think ..."

I don't care

The handmaidens and sycophants get on my tits too!

So in summary I don't think men are unwelcome here, just don't be a dick! But that is to all posters really!

Ps. Please write that book.