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AIBU?

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Original poster

FiL asked me to check his will

462 replies

EE1980 · 01/10/2023 22:17

I'm not a probate lawyer

FiL asked me to check that his will reflects his intentions. He'd got a probate lawyer to draft it.

I asked him if he was sure he wanted me to check it. I pointed out I didn't do probate and being married to his son means I'm not independent.

He said he was fine with me reviewing it.

So he has left everything to his eldest son (not my husband). The house and land and furniture. Not one thing set aside my husband - nothing sentimental.

They're all very close and loving so not fall out. My husband is hurt. Will never say he is. Loves his parents and wouldn't want anything from them (though happy to take from mine).

Was it a bit unreasonable for my FiL to ask me to review his will when my husband os left out completely?

OP posts:
SlipSlidinAway · 01/10/2023 22:18

Did you not say anything to your FIL about this?

Mummy08m · 01/10/2023 22:19

Seems like this was his awkward way of ensuring your dh would find out...?

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/10/2023 22:19

There's a good reason he's asking you to check it. You need to tread carefully and maybe talk to the probate lawyer.

Iloveacurry · 01/10/2023 22:20

Did you ask him why your husband has been left out of the will?

Libraryloiterer · 01/10/2023 22:20

I wonder if he was testing you to see what your reaction would be?

TheCentreSlide · 01/10/2023 22:21

Yeah you should have confronted him. Nasty old bastard.

Original poster
EE1980 · 01/10/2023 22:21

Wasn't my place. I mean it's his money and assets to give away as he wants and it reflects his interns. Just a bit odd he asked me to review it. It wasn't a complex will so pretty easy to understand. My husband was next to me and he just stayed silent. We're not crabby but just felt a bit odd.

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 01/10/2023 22:21

So what did you say to fil??

sparxmaths · 01/10/2023 22:22

Weird …

Redmat · 01/10/2023 22:23

I'd have asked him why as soon as I'd read it. Did you ?

Totaly · 01/10/2023 22:23

If he intentionally leaves your DH out of the will he can contest it.

If he puts in a minimal sum, he can’t.

Is FIL still with MIL?

PheonixAndTheCarpet · 01/10/2023 22:23

Wtf!!! Is he a narcissist? How bloody cruel!

SalmonEile · 01/10/2023 22:24

Did he tell you what his intentions were?
are you supposed to contact him and say :
”Fil the will states you’re leaving X Y and Z to BIL, is that correct?”
Did you review the will in person with him present or was it sent to you?

the good news is that unless it’s a genuine oversight then you know where you stand

Bellyblueboy · 01/10/2023 22:24

This is unspeakably cruel. He wants his son to know he hasn’t left him anything - wants to enjoy the impact while he is alive.

he has created this drama and is now sitting back and enjoying it.

awful man

Lovingitallnow · 01/10/2023 22:24

It was bat shit crazy. I think I'd have to ask why on earth he thought you'd be the person to review this given it would likely cause your husband pain and hurt. What he's done to you is hurtful, it's well within your place to remark on that- if not the contents.

Daffidale · 01/10/2023 22:25

I think he asked you to “check it” as a cowardly way to let you and DH know he’s left you out of it

Aquamarine1029 · 01/10/2023 22:25

Wasn't my place.

Of course it is. His son is your husband, and he asked you to review his will. You have every right to question what he's done. He obviously doesn't have to change anything, but you have every right to ask what in the fuck is this all about. Your poor husband. How absolutely cruel of this man.

chipsandpeas · 01/10/2023 22:26

Totaly · 01/10/2023 22:23

If he intentionally leaves your DH out of the will he can contest it.

If he puts in a minimal sum, he can’t.

Is FIL still with MIL?

under hwat grounds do you think the will could be contested based on the info the OP has given

DixonD · 01/10/2023 22:27

Totaly · 01/10/2023 22:23

If he intentionally leaves your DH out of the will he can contest it.

If he puts in a minimal sum, he can’t.

Is FIL still with MIL?

He CAN contest it even with a minimal sum - it’s an either or situation. He takes the sum or he contests it, IF the will stipulates this is the case. He is always free to contest the will.

Rosiem2808 · 01/10/2023 22:27

Unless this is going to be a massive drip feed I have to ask the question - is your husband his son?

Original poster
EE1980 · 01/10/2023 22:27

I just read what it said and explained that it said that everything went to x. And that if his wife outlives him then on her death everything goes to x. They were both happy with this. We then just said something jokey like "hopefully it won't happen for a long long time" and then moved on. They're a lovely family no arguments or section so came out of blue. Just odd asking me to read a will that my husband isn't in. Not even a clock or ornament given

OP posts:
TheCentreSlide · 01/10/2023 22:28

If this happened in my family, the sibling who received everything would split it down the middle after the mean old git died.

edwinbear · 01/10/2023 22:28

It doesn’t seem they are as close as your DH thinks they are. Your FIL obviously wants to have a conversation about it, that’s why he asked you to look at it. So ask him!

NightLightHalfLight · 01/10/2023 22:28

Are you and your DH doing well opposed to your BIL? SIL isn’t doing well financially and for probably that reason DH Father left everything to SIL.

SlipSlidinAway · 01/10/2023 22:28

EE1980 · 01/10/2023 22:21

Wasn't my place. I mean it's his money and assets to give away as he wants and it reflects his interns. Just a bit odd he asked me to review it. It wasn't a complex will so pretty easy to understand. My husband was next to me and he just stayed silent. We're not crabby but just felt a bit odd.

Well it wasn't his place to ask you to review his will! Presumably he wants your dh to know and is taking the easy way out doing this.

Obviously you wouldn't want to say anything in front of dh but you should have no qualms in taking FIL to one side to ask him why he is totally excluding your dh.