FiL asked me to check his will

[EE1980]

I'm not a probate lawyer

FiL asked me to check that his will reflects his intentions. He'd got a probate lawyer to draft it.

I asked him if he was sure he wanted me to check it. I pointed out I didn't do probate and being married to his son means I'm not independent.

He said he was fine with me reviewing it.

So he has left everything to his eldest son (not my husband). The house and land and furniture. Not one thing set aside my husband - nothing sentimental.

They're all very close and loving so not fall out. My husband is hurt. Will never say he is. Loves his parents and wouldn't want anything from them (though happy to take from mine).

Was it a bit unreasonable for my FiL to ask me to review his will when my husband os left out completely?

@Roiesin57 ".....it doesn't sound like a loving close family to me. His parents sound cruel and your h sounds controlling."

The OP has already said she feels controlled in the relationship.
See her post at 23.12 on Sunday.
If she spoke up she would, she believes be ostracised. Deemed grabby.
She has children. I'm not sure if they are of the marriage or a previous relationship. She lives far from her own loving family. She said she is isolated and exposed and doesn't rock the boat.

That's no way to live.

@LadyEloise1
The OP's husband and his parents seem satisfied with their familial relationships and these behaviors may be a part of their cultural traditions. It is not the OP's place to tell them that are right or wrong. She can decide that their way of doing things is not her preferred way of doing things, and that in terms of her assets , she will handle things

In many societies, it was the
accepted practice for the eldest son to inherit both land and hereditary titles, and their was no suggestion that the people adhering to these practices did not love all of their children.

Right and wrong is often in the eyes of the beholder, and as with many things there is no universal right or wrong when it comes to distribution of assets.

It would be wrong for the OP to try and impose her beliefs on her in-laws just as it would be wrong for her in laws to try and tell her how she should handle the distribution of her assets when the time comes.

If the OP,'s husband has an issue with his father's plans it would be his place to discuss that concern with his father. If he is not willing to have that discussion that is his prerogative as well.

The OP is just an observer in this particular family dynamic.She is entitled to her opinions about the situation and that opinion should only be expressed if it is solicited. It is not her assets that are in play.

No. Regardless of the culture or family tradition in-married wives and strangers have always had the right and the interest to query the arrangements of the patriarchy. My dissertation was on a similar system in Nepal (aungsabanda) and you had better believe that the wives who nominally had no rights in the property spent their lives querying snd strategizing to control the inheritance . These families take women’s labour and lives but tightly control the assets. Fuck that!

Well they all sound awful, so divorce sounds the best plan!

@LadyEloise1 I quite agree. And the more I think about it the more I'm veering towards another pp who thinks the whole thing is staged. Maybe he wants to hide any inheritance he may get from his parents so this will throws op off the scent. I do have an over active imagination though, so hopefully I'm wrong!
I also think it's very presumptuous, controlling, grabby & down right greedy to have mentally spent his wife's potential inheritance while her parents are still alive & kicking! Like he can't wait to get his hands on their money, outrageous

OP--I will hope that your family is a bit smarter than your DH's and puts any of the inheritance you will receive into a trust that your husband cannot grab.

How dare him think that your parent's money is basically "his". It sounds like he has no respect for anyone but himself and his wack-a-doo family.

I don't understand why you stay in a relationship like this, but your choice is your choice. Maybe once day you'll have an epiphany and see him for what he truly is and act accordingly.

I know from reading the thread what culture you are, but may I ask, what culture is your DH's? If he doesn't have your back and you are more like roommates, it doesn't sound like it really isn't much of a marriage. If you needed to, would your parents come and help you if you wanted to move away from DH? Any of your family?

@Roiesin57
I may have missed the post ,but I did not see anywhere that the wife stated an objection to her husband's plan to purchase the RV. She maybe looking forward to family fun traveling in the RV.

It seems unbelievably difficult for some people to accept the fact that there is not some universal right or wrong in handling the distribution of assets and to recognize that individuals have an absolute right to dispose of their property as they see fit. There is no one size fits all in this process and there is no bible or commandments laid down from above dictating how assets have to be
distributed.

@Mari9999 yes the op may well be looking forward to the purchase of a camper van, I never said that she wasn't on board with it.
I've said nothing about any rights or wrongs of who his parents leave their money to, as there are none, it's up to them.
What does come across in her post is that he is controlling. She says he is happy to take money off her parents, but it is a different story when it comes to his parents.
She also says that HE - not WE - has plans to buy a camper van with any inheritance she gets.
Vocalising HIS plans on how to spend op's inheritance whilst her parents are still alive & kicking is out of order in my opinion.

@Roiesin57
I agree with you that it is distasteful to be having feelings about inheritance when parents are alive and kicking. That is true about the assets of both sets of parents. Obviously both sets of parents have given some indication about their asset distribution plans, and in this scenario there seems to be significant feelings and plans for money and yet no one is dead.

I really wonder if this is Fil asking for help, has the brother in some way engineered this and his parents don't know how to get out of the situation?

OP, has the will that you were asked to review already been signed and witnessed?