FiL asked me to check his will

[EE1980]

I'm not a probate lawyer

FiL asked me to check that his will reflects his intentions. He'd got a probate lawyer to draft it.

I asked him if he was sure he wanted me to check it. I pointed out I didn't do probate and being married to his son means I'm not independent.

He said he was fine with me reviewing it.

So he has left everything to his eldest son (not my husband). The house and land and furniture. Not one thing set aside my husband - nothing sentimental.

They're all very close and loving so not fall out. My husband is hurt. Will never say he is. Loves his parents and wouldn't want anything from them (though happy to take from mine).

Was it a bit unreasonable for my FiL to ask me to review his will when my husband os left out completely?

It very much seems like this is an accurate take.

Unless there is any way that the older son could have put him under duress to have the will drafted as such. Is there any chance of that?

Or is there any chance that your husband is not his son?

It is such an odd, yet calculated thing to do, there must be a reason.

No backstory really close loving family. All get on really well. All doing same financially in family. None richer than other.

Presume he’s just very old fashioned and leaving it to the eldest son

He's asked you so you both know. Your reaction, or lack of is the odd bit. What's the situation as to why he can dictate that his wife can't change things?

I can't believe you both just sat there and didn't say a word about it. It is screamingly clear that they set this up waiting for you to ask, and see how you both reacted.

It should have been so easy. He asked you to check if it reflected his intentions. All you had to say was "so are your intentions to leave everything to BIL and nothing to DH?" Swiftly followed by "why? And as you're leaving DH out, why have you asked me to look at it?"

@Savoretti yep.

In short, yes, that.

How old fashioned are we talking?

Even the landed gentry leave something to the children who won’t inherit the family estate 😬

I would go back and ask him why your DH was left out of his will. It's so strange that neither you nor your husband was at the least curious.

That was completely intentional. God knows the reason, but he knew what he was doing.

Well one will be

1. Are you a (non probate) lawyer, Op?

1. Could the other brother have coerced FIL and this is his way of asking for some kind of help?

1. Are the assets mainly a farm+land which they want passed on without splitting?

1. Is the brother struggling financially?

He obviously wants you to know . For what reason I wonder. Either because he's a mean nasty person or because he's doing something he doesn't want to do and is trying to tell you. But that would mean he is being pressurised. Who would that be by?
Or he doesn't understand wills!

So your husband was there as well? He obviously wanted him to know. Very odd to ask you to ‘review’ it. What did he actually want you to do? Is he actually ok or could he be confused?

Yes, reading the further posts it could be that your FIL is confused or being pressurised and is looking to you for guidance?

It seems very intentional by him.

How loving and close can they be if you were both too timid to say anything?

I'd tackle him privately and ask if this was his deliberate way of hurting your husband and making sure he knew it.
Or does he have some antiquated idea that his estate goes to the eldest son (and the younger one goes into the church/army)?
Not much you can do about it. But when his house and land gets too much for him to manage and he's 'having a fall' and needs care and support - he's made his bed.

Surely if everyone is so loving you’d just ask why? If my parents did this I would, because we talk.

As if you’d read it and make a ‘tinkly’ little jokey comment and nothing else.

it sounds abusive

Hit the nail on the head. This is really screwed up, OP. Either he's malicious or there's something behind it - either way you and your DH should know.

Just can't get my head around you all sitting there reading it and not saying anything. So your DH is just going to accept he will get nothing and his brother takes it all?

Does his brother know about this? And if he does, surely he can't be fine with this? He will have to look your DH in the eyes knowing he's set to inherit everything and your DH gets nothing?
It's bizarre to say the least.

That’s really weird! Well if he values your DH so little then maybe it’s good to know now. You can set your relationship accordingly. I would never expect any inheritance and would rather my parents spent everything on a luxurious retirement. However, leaving it all to one sibling is a horrible and pointed gesture.

Sounds like a weird controlling way to let him know. Like he wants your DH to kick off and ask for money. All very strange.

How odd. I can't help but wonder if your FIL is trying to say something....I mean if he's left absolutely everything to one person, that surely won't need much checking. He must know what he's doing and I think he might have shown you knowing full well you'll tell your husband....its just unclear why.
Are there skeletons in the cupboard?

I literally can't believe you are so blasé. This is very hurtful to your Dh. Even if he left him a small amount £xxx it would be something. Grow a pair of bollocks and talk to fil, and then your Dh. You seem to have zero empathy. This is an utter betrayal by you to you Dh. How you can't see this is staggering.

"I have looked through this for you and am surprised that you have not shared your estate equally between your sons."

Why would you not say this?

It's his way of letting you know what's in his will. My nan did something similar so I knew how her will was going to go in terms of what was left to my mum and aunty. It helped to be forewarned, as when she had died and it became clear what was in the will, I was able to push back and say I wouldn't help contest the will as my nan has been of sound mind when she wrote it.