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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to employ a housekeeper? Would you judge me as lazy?

203 replies

LabradorLoveSausages · 28/09/2023 12:36

According to village gossip, which was not supposed to get back to me (and I wish it hadn't), this makes me entitled and lazy, and all I need now is an arse-wiper.

We employ a housekeeper for 6 hours a day, 3 days a week. So, lots of help, but not exactly staff on tap. She is well paid, gets pension and sickness benefits and works around her kids' school hours (with holiday clubs as needed.) She is an absolute godsend, I think pretty happy in her role, and I feel having her allows family life to be calm, ordered, and sometimes even fun (although I still feel we never stop.) She does all the laundry and cleaning, as well as other 'as needed' jobs like washing sofa covers etc.

I work full time (except 3 school pick ups at 3.45, as DS is too anxious for the bus), running a small practice in a professional role. DH manages a large team in the City and is very involved at home, when he is here. We have a large (ish- more a chaotic cottage than a manor) house outside London. DD15 is very independent, except the usual support with school work and hobbies (one interest, in which she has good very ability, takes up most of Saturday in London during term time). DS11 has additional needs and needs quite a bit of support to manage his organisation, possessions, homework, appointments, emotions, medication, anxiety, eating, bedtimes and Lego collection. He's a great boy, but that support takes up a lot of time and emotional energy. We collapse into bed at 10.30 every night hardly having had a moment to ourselves, between meeting the needs of clients and the kids.

I am possibly taking a malicious comment to heart, but how can that possibly be considered a 'lazy' life, even though we have help?

OP posts:
AllrightNowBaby · 15/11/2023 18:22

Who cares what the busy bodies in the village think?
When my kids were young, I didn’t work but I had cleaners, a nanny, gardeners and it never entered my mind others might not approve, I was too busy meeting friends for lunch and clothes shopping.

Elvis1956 · 15/11/2023 18:26

I've been a part time "man Friday" and was grateful for the work. You are enjoying someone. Someone local who knows that if she has a child care emergency, she's in the door step (you seem like the type who'd let her get there at the drop of a hat).

And your making time for you and your family

Birchavalon · 19/11/2023 19:57

Why are they being so horrible? It sounds like a great way of organising things. I always think that everyone who can afford it SHOULD hire help in the house/garden - there would be far less rural unemployment.

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