To report my bullying neighbour to the police?

[L3gohouse]

I am considering reporting my neighbour to the police..

I never thought my life was interesting enough to warrant a post on AIBU but things have changed - here we go!

I recently purchased a ground floor flat in a block of 9 flats. We all share a communal garden but only myself and the next door flat have direct access via patio doors.

I have a registered Hearing Dog for the Deaf (I am profoundly deaf). I've had this dog for nearly a year and previously lived in a rented flat with a small balcony. Now that we have a massive garden, my dog is absolutely loving it and enjoys running around and playing in it (fully supervised).

Most of my new neighbours have been fantastic and very understanding of the dog and welcome his cuddles! However, our direct neighbours (who also have direct access to the garden) have been really difficult. It is a male and female living in the flat - the male is ok-ish, but the female is much worse.

It all came to blows the other day where I had my in-laws over for the weekend. I took the dog out in the garden in the morning so he could go to the toilet. I wasn't anywhere near the neighbour's patio doors or windows - more towards the back end of the garden (approx 10m?), and she flung open her window and started shouting at me!!

I then approached the window and asked her what she was saying. She was shouting and saying 'your dog cannot use the garden as a toilet', over and over. She started saying some other things but I couldn't lip-read her well so I asked her to repeat it and she slammed the window and rolled her eyes at me. I took the dog back indoors and, after discussing with my husband and in-laws, I went round to their door and knocked on it. I asked if I could clarify what the problem was with the lady.

The male invited me in and the lady just started ranting at me. She repeated what she was saying earlier and said 'you have LEGS, you can WALK to the road and toilet him there'. I tried to explain that he is a service dog and that we already had confirmation from the building's management company that he can use the garden. She then started to mimic my voice and said 'UnFoRtUnAtLeY He Is a HeArInG dOg" and kept going on and on, raising her voice and becoming angrier and angrier. She kept saying it didn't matter that he was a service dog, he is still a DOG!! and he must go to the toilet in the road??? After about 5 minutes of going around in circles, I said 'I'm going to leave before this escalates' and the male let me out and gave me a quick apology.

I ended up back in my flat absolutely shaking with adrenaline/fear/anxiety. I've decided to only let the dog toilet in a specific part of the garden (gap in bushes directly opposite my door) to reduce his impact on the garden. Once he has done his business, he is free to run around and play. I don't have to do this but I thought it would be a nice gesture and will hopefully reduce the likelihood of being screamed at again...

Since the weekend, she has been banging on windows and waving at myself and my husband to get our attention but we've been ignoring her - I'm starting to get more and more anxious to go out in the garden and it's having an impact on my dog as well.

Would I be unreasonable to report this to the police?

When a service dog isn’t working, you absolutely can cuddle them!! Do you think their owners never cuddle them?

There's probably mice/rats/foxes doing the same but no one to pick up after them.

I'm not sure - her partner was there and I'm confident he'd take her side!

Husband and In Laws were not within earshot unfortunately as I was in their flat.

I wouldn’t be happy with a dog using the garden to wee as it kills plants and the grass, as for picking up poo, you can’t pick it all up and it will always leave a residue. So revolting and not safe for children. Your neighbour was being unreasonable in how she approached you though.

Agree with PP, your neighbour should not have been rude to you but it is not acceptable to let your dog toilet in a shared garden. Having a specific area of the garden is also unfair as the whole garden is a shared space. The dog should be on a lead when in a shared space not allowed to run around the shared garden.

Neighbour's mimicking is awful. But I can see why she is unhappy.

OP, it sounds like you have no intention to change, although the absolute majority here are saying that letting your dog pee and poo in the garden is disgusting. I agree and I would totally call you out for such behaviour. Your dog "marking the territory" is no reason to continue this selfish behaviour.

Well she’s harassing you by banging on your windows and mimicking your disability could be interpreted as a hate crime. Personally I’d do it.

She was unpleasant for sure, but if I were her I'd be really upset that my shared garden space was being used for a toilet by a dog, regardless what the management company said.

I think you're in the wrong here and should take your dog to toilet elsewhere.

Disagree with most on here. Her issue with how you use the garden should be taken up with the landlord. You have permission. Harassing and mimicking could be a hate crime. I’d definitely look into that and report if I could.

Do you think she thought then as no one was with you, she could say what she wanted, so the mimicking and you wouldn't know?

She shouldn't have screamed and mocked you, but your dog shouldn't be using a shared garden as a toilet.

OP you do realise that even when you pick up dog poo, you can never get every last remnant up, there is still particles left on the grass. There really isn't any reason why you can't take your dog outside to run about/do his business. You seem to be using the fact that he's a service dog to let him do whatever.

Any moral high ground she had is being out weighed by her harassment

She sounds vile, and it's veering into the territory of a disability hate crime.

So long as you're clearing up the dog's poo, she needs to get a grip. Buying a home with a shared garden means actually sharing with your neighbours, which they appear to have forgotten.

Hate crime of verbal abuse of a person with a disability. Report to the police. It may prove helpful in the future if this matter escalates. I have dogs, and I have a garden they do their business in. Dog waste is messy stinky stuff. I pick up on the spot, but you can never clean it 100%. I don't think your dog should be using the shared garden as a toilet. You could take the dog to the park or walk them up the street. If your neighbour continues to bother you, get the antisocial behaviour officer from the council involved.

Screaming name calling is unacceptable. But why on earth would common sense say a shared garden was perfect for your dog...sorry but I have dogs and I can understand why a shared one you wouldn't want smelly dog pee, runny poos etc

You have permission from the building management your service dog can go toilet in the garden. Ignore other saying that I you shouldn’t. You’ve followed all the correct procedures and that woman just sounds unhinged the amount she was shouting at you.

@ActDottie You have permission from the building management your service dog can go toilet in the garden.

OP has permission for her dog to use the garden, not to use it as a toilet.

Profoundly deaf people can hear, just not everything and OP says she's was lip reading.

Lip reading is a skill, you watch their mouth shape and facial expressions and add in the tones you can hear etc. It's easy to tell when people are mocking you.

She's a prick. That said, I also don't think a dog should be allowed to pee and poop on a shared garden. Even when you pick up poop, some is still left behind. And wee doesn't disappear when it hits the grass. A dog regularly peeing on grass actually destroys it, turning it yellow. Sure wild animals pee and poop on gardens but you can't be mad at what can't be controlled. Domestic dogs can be.

7. Yes, the management company have confirmed he is allowed to toilet in the garden as long as poo is picked up obviously.

Thanks everyone. I definitely don't want to be that neighbour who thinks she owns the place because she has a service dog! I fully recognise that the garden is shared. In our previous place, we had no issues, so I didn't anticipate any!

I will definitely look at putting up flyers to make people aware there is a service dog and that he may use the garden often.

As for toileting, he is limited to a specific area and is kept on the lead until he is finished, and then he is able to go off lead and sniff/run around for 5-10 minutes. He is NEVER let out when there is someone else in the garden. Just to clarify that this specific area is tucked away and no-one goes there as it's just a grass-less area under a tree - so no risk for turning grass yellow here either!

I will move my daily walks earlier in the day so that we can go straight out in the morning, and I'll also take him to the street last thing before bed if I can.

However, it is still a shared garden and the other neighbour will have to accept that the dog will use it at times - there's really no way around it as our front door is through the garden!

If the harassment continues, even with my adjustments, I will call 101 as some of you have suggested, and raise it further with the Management Company.

I have a cochlear implant which helps me to hear a little bit, and I heavily rely on lip-reading/gesturing/body language.