To report my bullying neighbour to the police?

[L3gohouse]

I am considering reporting my neighbour to the police..

I never thought my life was interesting enough to warrant a post on AIBU but things have changed - here we go!

I recently purchased a ground floor flat in a block of 9 flats. We all share a communal garden but only myself and the next door flat have direct access via patio doors.

I have a registered Hearing Dog for the Deaf (I am profoundly deaf). I've had this dog for nearly a year and previously lived in a rented flat with a small balcony. Now that we have a massive garden, my dog is absolutely loving it and enjoys running around and playing in it (fully supervised).

Most of my new neighbours have been fantastic and very understanding of the dog and welcome his cuddles! However, our direct neighbours (who also have direct access to the garden) have been really difficult. It is a male and female living in the flat - the male is ok-ish, but the female is much worse.

It all came to blows the other day where I had my in-laws over for the weekend. I took the dog out in the garden in the morning so he could go to the toilet. I wasn't anywhere near the neighbour's patio doors or windows - more towards the back end of the garden (approx 10m?), and she flung open her window and started shouting at me!!

I then approached the window and asked her what she was saying. She was shouting and saying 'your dog cannot use the garden as a toilet', over and over. She started saying some other things but I couldn't lip-read her well so I asked her to repeat it and she slammed the window and rolled her eyes at me. I took the dog back indoors and, after discussing with my husband and in-laws, I went round to their door and knocked on it. I asked if I could clarify what the problem was with the lady.

The male invited me in and the lady just started ranting at me. She repeated what she was saying earlier and said 'you have LEGS, you can WALK to the road and toilet him there'. I tried to explain that he is a service dog and that we already had confirmation from the building's management company that he can use the garden. She then started to mimic my voice and said 'UnFoRtUnAtLeY He Is a HeArInG dOg" and kept going on and on, raising her voice and becoming angrier and angrier. She kept saying it didn't matter that he was a service dog, he is still a DOG!! and he must go to the toilet in the road??? After about 5 minutes of going around in circles, I said 'I'm going to leave before this escalates' and the male let me out and gave me a quick apology.

I ended up back in my flat absolutely shaking with adrenaline/fear/anxiety. I've decided to only let the dog toilet in a specific part of the garden (gap in bushes directly opposite my door) to reduce his impact on the garden. Once he has done his business, he is free to run around and play. I don't have to do this but I thought it would be a nice gesture and will hopefully reduce the likelihood of being screamed at again...

Since the weekend, she has been banging on windows and waving at myself and my husband to get our attention but we've been ignoring her - I'm starting to get more and more anxious to go out in the garden and it's having an impact on my dog as well.

Would I be unreasonable to report this to the police?

Believe it or not, not everyone can afford to buy somewhere with a private garden.

How snobbish of you.

How big is the shared space op? I guess the difficulty is you need the dog as it's a service dog and it's a shared garden where not everyone will welcome a dog

Would it be at all possible to negotiate a section off for the dog ? With a temporary fence? It's not
Practical to those saying take the dog down the road, last thing at night or 5lb the morning if they ask to go out it's not practical to get dressed and walk them for a wee , I won't even go to holiday let's that are dog friendly if there isn't an enclosed space to let the dog out for a wee as it's just not practical - if it's chucking it down for instance I want to open the door for 2 mins let the dog have a pee and close it again not get fully dressed to take a dog out for 2 mins

I wouldn't have bought a place with a shared garden for a dog tho as this will
Always be a contentious issue for some using that same space .

I love dogs. Have had them my whole life. She's a fucking arsehole but I'm actually with her on the garden issue. A shared space shouldn't be used for a dogs toilet. It's entirely unfair to other tenants.

@CleverLilViper If you think you can simply stop a dog peeing you don’t know how dogs fucking work.

It’s pretty easy to take your dog out to pee and poo on a walk. OP is specifically sending her dog out to do its business in the shared space which is ruining it for everyone. Your dog is not more important than the other users of the space.

And that’s the neighbours problem?

She was rude and unpleasant. But I am 100% against dogs using a communal space as a toilet. In my experience, service dogs are trained to "go" on command ( friend trains them, so have seen this at first hand). So you could just take your dog to a specific toilet spot where he can go. Make sure it's miles away from the nice communal garden!

Her manner is really unpleasant and she's not going about this the right way but I live in a similar set up and the gardens have been spoiled by dog owners thinking it is perfectly acceptable to toilet their dogs in a shared garden. . I have a dog but he doesn't use the garden because it's just not essential to having a dog that he must use the communal garden. I can take him to the verge opposite. I'm not sure why this was agreed with the management company. Surely a service dog does not come with an absolute requirement that it MUST only toilet in the communal garden?

Even if you walk the dog, there’s every chance the dog will still pee in the garden.

Thats life. If your neighbour doesn’t like sharing a garden, perhaps it is she who needs to move.

You’ve been allowed by the LL to use the garden with your dog. No one other than her is bothered.

She leaves.

I’m afraid she’s right
that’s a shared garden.
no you can’t let the dog shit in it ,how is that fair on anyone else

You shouldn't encourage your dog to toilet in a shared garden. Take him for a walk. (Ours refuses to poo in our garden so we have no choice but to walk him).

In any case if you have permission from the management then that's your 1st port of call, not the police. Building management should speak to your neighbours

Hold on, I've got 2 dogs and I bloody love them but taking the piss out of someone who has a panic attack over a dog approaching them is not cool.

Are you this dismissive towards everyone's fears?

The neighbour was awful in the way she expressed herself but I agree with her. It is a shared garden, not your dog's toilet.

The neighbour is the one with the issue of sharing a communal garden with a dog who has been allowed by the LL to use that space.

Since she is the one who can’t or won’t share the space, she’s the one who needs to leave and take her nastiness to a private garden herself. Not the OP.

Yeah the community garden isn’t a dog toilet. Also service dogs are normally trained to go pretty much on command in dedicated areas an often too also a trained service dog shouldn’t be bounding up to people for cuddles.

@CleverLilViper When they’re that fucking ridiculous yes.

It’s not ridiculous to expect people to control their dogs.

@CleverLilViper You’re very angry and worked up about this aren’t you?

You are literally the only person on this thread who agrees with the OP.

Even if you pick up the dog shit, there'll still be bits on the grass. And a dog pissing in the same spot every day will start to make the place stink. Fine if it's your garden, but this is a shared space.

OP, you are being very unreasonable and selfish, and I'm not surprised she's lost her rag.

Oh the ignorance on this thread is astonishing.

The dog is a service dog. People with service dogs have rights that people with ordinary dogs don't.

Poo should of course be cleared up, but if the neighbour has a problem with a service animal using the shared garden of his own home for down time with the building 's management's blessing, their problem is with the building's management and frankly with the law.

Trained service dogs aren't working all the time. It sounds like his time off in the garden is time just being a dog, which is essential for his welfare.

She is not being unreasonable to not want a dog approaching her for a fuss - she is unreasonable about everything else. Assuming you are picking up after him you are doing nothing wrong - by the law or by your building's management company. Absolutely 100% do report the incidents with her, to both police and building management. Tell her in writing that you have permission and legal protection, and tell to leave you alone. Seek advice from any relevant ssmervice dog charities, they have sadly seen it all before and will be able to advice or assist. A cease & decist letter may help.

My dog pees and poops in a shared garden. Luckily a lot of my neighbours also have dogs and theirs also do it. (We all clean up the poop) I also let my dog run free as it’s the only place she is able to be offlead outside. It doesn’t smell of dog wee, they are all little dogs so there’s not a whole lot of pee.

back to the point at hand, I don’t know whether the police are the best port of call, maybe the landlord could speak to her and confirm that your dog has permission to use the shared space and see if that changes things?

The way the women spoke to you is completely unacceptable.

However letting your dog have free reign of a communal garden is also unacceptable, and I can understand why a neighbour doesn't want dog mess around.

Every service dog I have known has been taught to toilet on command, so you should be taking him to a sensible space every time he needs to go.

The going up to people for cuddles is not ok either, and again a properly trained service dog should be trained to not approach others.

If your dog doesn't have this training I would approach the organisation you received the dog for to get further assistance with the training.

OK lots of people who don’t understand dogs and fewer who understand service dogs.

Letting the dog poo anywhere in the garden is not ok, but if you take them to a side section (close to your door) and pick it up that should be fine. As for peeing dogs mark their territory so it will happen. Anyone who thinks gardens are not regularly “watered” cat and fox urine is simply ignorant.

As for the shouting and getting aggressive that is unacceptable. If she can’t speak civilly then she needs to communicate in writing. If the crazy behaviour doesn’t stop when you restrict the dog poo (and the large relief wee) then you can take action. But start with amending your behaviour first.

If she now is aggressive regardless of the amended dog behaviour then her conduct could be considered harassment and you can get an order to stop that (civil matter not police initially). But if your behaviour is the issue you will get nowhere with that.

Yes service dogs have access to spaces others do not but that still doesn't mean everyone has to like it

That's why I'd have saved myself the hassle and not got a place with a shared garden

It doesn't matter if op is right in law , others aren't forced to be happy and that will always mean tensions with neighbours who don't like it .

MN is a notorious breeding ground for dog haters who come out at any opportunity to bitch about dogs that they can.

so I literally don’t give a fuck if I’m the only one who agrees with OP.

Funny though that you’re all alright with the bigotry and nastiness of OPs neighbours because well this gives you all an opportunity to let your dog hate shine.

So long as OP is cleaning up after the dog why does it matter?

What's ridiculous about having a panic attack and why do you find it so funny?