To report my bullying neighbour to the police?

[L3gohouse]

I am considering reporting my neighbour to the police..

I never thought my life was interesting enough to warrant a post on AIBU but things have changed - here we go!

I recently purchased a ground floor flat in a block of 9 flats. We all share a communal garden but only myself and the next door flat have direct access via patio doors.

I have a registered Hearing Dog for the Deaf (I am profoundly deaf). I've had this dog for nearly a year and previously lived in a rented flat with a small balcony. Now that we have a massive garden, my dog is absolutely loving it and enjoys running around and playing in it (fully supervised).

Most of my new neighbours have been fantastic and very understanding of the dog and welcome his cuddles! However, our direct neighbours (who also have direct access to the garden) have been really difficult. It is a male and female living in the flat - the male is ok-ish, but the female is much worse.

It all came to blows the other day where I had my in-laws over for the weekend. I took the dog out in the garden in the morning so he could go to the toilet. I wasn't anywhere near the neighbour's patio doors or windows - more towards the back end of the garden (approx 10m?), and she flung open her window and started shouting at me!!

I then approached the window and asked her what she was saying. She was shouting and saying 'your dog cannot use the garden as a toilet', over and over. She started saying some other things but I couldn't lip-read her well so I asked her to repeat it and she slammed the window and rolled her eyes at me. I took the dog back indoors and, after discussing with my husband and in-laws, I went round to their door and knocked on it. I asked if I could clarify what the problem was with the lady.

The male invited me in and the lady just started ranting at me. She repeated what she was saying earlier and said 'you have LEGS, you can WALK to the road and toilet him there'. I tried to explain that he is a service dog and that we already had confirmation from the building's management company that he can use the garden. She then started to mimic my voice and said 'UnFoRtUnAtLeY He Is a HeArInG dOg" and kept going on and on, raising her voice and becoming angrier and angrier. She kept saying it didn't matter that he was a service dog, he is still a DOG!! and he must go to the toilet in the road??? After about 5 minutes of going around in circles, I said 'I'm going to leave before this escalates' and the male let me out and gave me a quick apology.

I ended up back in my flat absolutely shaking with adrenaline/fear/anxiety. I've decided to only let the dog toilet in a specific part of the garden (gap in bushes directly opposite my door) to reduce his impact on the garden. Once he has done his business, he is free to run around and play. I don't have to do this but I thought it would be a nice gesture and will hopefully reduce the likelihood of being screamed at again...

Since the weekend, she has been banging on windows and waving at myself and my husband to get our attention but we've been ignoring her - I'm starting to get more and more anxious to go out in the garden and it's having an impact on my dog as well.

Would I be unreasonable to report this to the police?

This. Respect @L3gohouse.

You need to walk your dog off the property to go to the toilet. Don’t use the garden, it’s shared so not fair. I own a dog and that’s what I’d do.

Please ryft before commenting as it’s a bit of a pain and totally disrespectful to the OP. Thanks

OP has been arrogant and entitled. The neighbour is the forgiving one.

I'm honestly shocked at what I have just read.
WHAT has happened to people?!
OP thank goodness it's all sorted and hopefully a reasonable solution has come from it but I cannot believe the amount of disablist comments I have read.
This is a service dog who has been specially trained to support you and your additional needs and thankfully most of us don't have to deal with the challenge.
You're dog is going into his own shared garden and you are clearing up the inevitable mess - I've seen advice earlier on the post saying take him to a park - is that ANY different?
What if one of the other seven neighbours get a pet?
I can honestly say if you were my neighbour I would have no problem with you letting your dog out several times a day.
As for the mocking from the neighbour 😱
I think you have been very dignified & have been through a shockingly hard time here.
I'm glad there is a decent resolution.

It just gets worse. The astounding ignorance and lack of empathy is shocking.

@Hersecretserviceyourmaj I fully agree

As a matter of interest which charity do you train assistance dogs for or do you work with owner trained teams?

I’ve been very concerned recently having joined a few FB groups where owners are eg training dogs off leash in hospitals, taking puppies on the London Eye at 14/15 weeks old and claiming they have the right to do so as they’re assistance dogs.

I just wondered your thoughts on completely owner trained assistance dogs.

She could have easily written a nice note to explain her thoughts.

You have permission, have adjusted where the dog goes, you've done nothing wrong.

She's harassing you, yes report her!

Calm down with the ",hate crime" one could say you're also committing a hate crime with your comment towards the people that disagree with you! I'm blonde is every degrading blonde joke now a hate crime? How does OP know she mimicked her voice if she cañt hear anything?

This

This

I agree 100%. OP you have had permission from the management company. Mumelsnetters really? 🙄

Sorry, but what are you and another poster who said:

but to be honest from your posts you are coming across as very entitled

going on about?

The OP hasn’t sounded ‘entitled’ at all.

I am semi retired now but yes, I've worked owner trained teams, and with Dog A.I.D. partnerships and Canine Generated Independence teams. I work to get them to the same standard of public access skills as ADUK charities use.

I am very concerned about owner trained teams, yes - there are some real issues, particularly around people with anxiety and mental health related issues who have not got the skills to train in the environment they need to train in, and are trying to rely on an as yet untrained dog ... I try to direct these people to the charities above that partner owner trainers with qualified trainers - I did spend a LOT of time having to patiently explain to people their dog simply wasn't suitable though.

Theres also an awful awful trend of people using the need for an assistance dog as an excuse or justification for getting some ridiculous crossbreed or rare breed (for example, a Great Dane, for someone who needs to get public transport frequently, on the grounds they were tall and need a tall dog. A ridiculous choice for anyone needing to take the dog into tight spaces often, but particularly because they can't work til mature, around 3 and will retire just a few years later due to the breeds terribly short lifespan!).

However the problems with OT's won't be fixed by trainers not being involved, and for some people it is the only practical route to an assistance dog.

Another thing I've done locally is educate businesses on their responsibilities under the EA - many are very reasonably worried about asking an AD dog team to leave, but they CAN if the dog is not under control, or is posing an unnecessary risk. Often just explaining some of the tasks a dog might need to do really helps there (for example, a dog may bark to alert, but this would be a single sharp bark and pause, direct at the handler, not the dog tanking along pulling and barking at something else. A dog may put paws up or even jump on their owner to indicate something or do deep pressure therapy, but they would not do this to someone else! ).

Businesses/organisations must be asked permission for training to take place - whilst Assistance Dogs who are trained have public access rights (and this doesn't automatically apply to all areas of a hospital!), trainees have NO rights at all and you have to ask first! So anyone telling you that the fact a dog is a trainee assistance dog and therefore automatically has public access rights is almost certainly a total bell-end, not a serious and sensible owner/trainer team!

I'm deaf and it sounds like you're being lazy and just letting the dog pee and poop in the garden instead of walking it in the morning.

Regardless of what the management says, just walk your dog to toilet it.

It really will stink letting it toilet by your front door, especially in summer.

Can you not section off a bit and let it poop in there ?

I can see her point tbh

Can you not RTFT?

Dogs can't use a garden for a toilet but cats and foxes can, some stupid answers on here.

Honesty you wonder where people's brains are. At least the dog poo is getting picked up unlike foxes who are riddled with worms

I knew I'd read this before & then I saw when it was posted

When I worked for local Housing dept be used to be contacted by the Guide dogs Association when a blind tenant in a property with a communal garden was to be given a guide dog to ensure that a ‘spend’ area could be designated in the garden for the dog to use as a toilet. As landlords we needed to be sure the tenant could ensure the area could be kept clean and that there was somewhere suitable. If so then they got the guide dog.

Perhaps you could speak to the Building Management Company and ask them to designate an area to use as toilet space that you agree to maintain as your right under disability discrimination laws. You could ask them to write to other residents stating that it’s been agreed as a reasonable adjustment

Sorry I’ve just realised the posting date too!

That's a fantastic outcome (minus the apology from her)!