To report my bullying neighbour to the police?

[L3gohouse]

I am considering reporting my neighbour to the police..

I never thought my life was interesting enough to warrant a post on AIBU but things have changed - here we go!

I recently purchased a ground floor flat in a block of 9 flats. We all share a communal garden but only myself and the next door flat have direct access via patio doors.

I have a registered Hearing Dog for the Deaf (I am profoundly deaf). I've had this dog for nearly a year and previously lived in a rented flat with a small balcony. Now that we have a massive garden, my dog is absolutely loving it and enjoys running around and playing in it (fully supervised).

Most of my new neighbours have been fantastic and very understanding of the dog and welcome his cuddles! However, our direct neighbours (who also have direct access to the garden) have been really difficult. It is a male and female living in the flat - the male is ok-ish, but the female is much worse.

It all came to blows the other day where I had my in-laws over for the weekend. I took the dog out in the garden in the morning so he could go to the toilet. I wasn't anywhere near the neighbour's patio doors or windows - more towards the back end of the garden (approx 10m?), and she flung open her window and started shouting at me!!

I then approached the window and asked her what she was saying. She was shouting and saying 'your dog cannot use the garden as a toilet', over and over. She started saying some other things but I couldn't lip-read her well so I asked her to repeat it and she slammed the window and rolled her eyes at me. I took the dog back indoors and, after discussing with my husband and in-laws, I went round to their door and knocked on it. I asked if I could clarify what the problem was with the lady.

The male invited me in and the lady just started ranting at me. She repeated what she was saying earlier and said 'you have LEGS, you can WALK to the road and toilet him there'. I tried to explain that he is a service dog and that we already had confirmation from the building's management company that he can use the garden. She then started to mimic my voice and said 'UnFoRtUnAtLeY He Is a HeArInG dOg" and kept going on and on, raising her voice and becoming angrier and angrier. She kept saying it didn't matter that he was a service dog, he is still a DOG!! and he must go to the toilet in the road??? After about 5 minutes of going around in circles, I said 'I'm going to leave before this escalates' and the male let me out and gave me a quick apology.

I ended up back in my flat absolutely shaking with adrenaline/fear/anxiety. I've decided to only let the dog toilet in a specific part of the garden (gap in bushes directly opposite my door) to reduce his impact on the garden. Once he has done his business, he is free to run around and play. I don't have to do this but I thought it would be a nice gesture and will hopefully reduce the likelihood of being screamed at again...

Since the weekend, she has been banging on windows and waving at myself and my husband to get our attention but we've been ignoring her - I'm starting to get more and more anxious to go out in the garden and it's having an impact on my dog as well.

Would I be unreasonable to report this to the police?

Yes, agreed. That's why I've now limited his toileting area to an unused area near my door.

He is allowed cuddles when he is not working i.e. without his jacket and working harness on!

Even that is unnecessary though, he doesn't need to go to the toilet in the garden full stop.

It’s now entitled to ensure that your dog goes for a pee as often as they need it.

Honestly MN is batshit.

Ahhh that's a shame.
I used to live in a tenement flat of 8. We sectioned off the garden into 8 equal blocks. Some used it for allotments, someone had their shed etc. Worked really well for us but the ground was flat (so everyone got 'decent' ground) and we all got on!

OP, if dogs needed to wee 6 times a day, almost nobody would be able to have a dog. People have many things to do and almost nobody has the time to constantly walk their dog, even if they work from home.

Please don't let this horrible woman make you feel uncomfortable in your home. I would also inform the Management Company of her behaviour. There are lots of stipulations about living in a flat which are set out in the lease and it sounds like she is breaking quite a few of them.

That’s why most people allow their dogs into their gardens so that they can wee between walks.

Haven't read the whole thread, but have read your answers. No idea why you're having such a pile on for letting your dog pee in the garden. If it was your cat peeing and crapping the same posters would probably all be defending you and telling you not to bother clearing it up.

I have a dog but, even if your neighbour handled it very badly, appallingly in fact, honestly I would not be happy with a dog in a communal garden off lead, and even less happy with the toileting. I wouldn't want your dogs 'cuddles' either.

It sounds like the management have completely mismanaged this by not communicating with the other tenants or being clear with you about what your dog can and cannot do in the grounds.

You know you can take it to toilet in the street or elsewhere, and keep it on a long lead in the garden right? That would be being a good neighbour.

And anyone saying that dogs only need to pee three times a day are goady fuckwits. I've had dogs of various breeds my entire life and they all peed multiple times from first thing in the morning until last thing at night

The comments on this thread crack me up.

Where do you all think foxes and cats go to the toilet? What about birds? How about mice & rats? Maybe best not to go in the garden at all if thought of animals going to the toilet is so vile. The wee goes into the soil, it soaks up, the rain falls - it’s part of nature. Op picks up the poo.

I think it’s absolutely ridiculous to be annoyed that a service dog is using a shared huge garden. Also legally the dog is allowed so it not reasonable to say otherwise.

Op carry on as you are. If she does it again I would write a letter to explain you are deaf etc. say you won’t put up with aggressive and discriminating behaviour. any more instances whatsoever and you will be raising a police complaint. Then she’s had fair warning, maybe try and give it to the boyfriend if you can.

This. Assuming you’re picking up the shit there are no grounds for complaint.

Not in my area, no. Everyone walks their dogs. I walked my dog 3 times a day and he certainly didn't wee in the house between the walks. Male dogs will wee all around the city if you allow them to, doesn't mean they have the need to go.

She has been absolutely horrible to you and that is in no way acceptable. However, despite what the management company has said to you I do think it's very unreasonable to let your dog use any communal space as a toilet. That's really unfair on other residents, how are they supposed to sit and read a book or sunbathe, knowing there is dog urine and the remains of feces there. Really gross.

She has handled it very badly, but I would not be happy with a dog using a shared garden as toilet.

IF the Management company have said its fine, then its fine. Hard luck to anyone who thinks its gross, thats suburban living. Having to put up with Noisy neighbours, people smoking over a fence, utter snobs who think they own the road, and dogs who poo in communal gardens.
If I had permission from the Management company for my service dog to go to the loo and I cleaned it up, then the neighbour could go and whistle.

Most dogs go for a wee more than 3 times a day surely?!

OP could you section a small area off just outside of your door?

I would ask the neighbour what the issue is, whether it’s him going toilet or the fact he’s running around.
Tell her that you are deaf and you’ve got permission to have your dog going to the toilet and running around.
You can even write it in a note.

She sounds like a twat but I feel that you are the one that is causing issues as you’re the one with the dog.
So it should be you who is trying to put things right.

I would write in the note that you are sectioning a big off for him to go to the toilet and you will only let him run around the rest of the garden when there is no one else around.

I am a dog lover and so I’d have no issues with him running around but I wouldn’t like a dog going toilet in a shared space, especially if there are people who want to lie down and sunbathe or have child relatives around to play.

I think a compromise and a note put through the door with an apology and what you’re going to do about it etc will be fine.
Obviously if he is harassing you then you need to warn her you’ll go to the police and then do so if she carries on.

Jesus, having a cuddle with a dog doesn't mean he's poorly trained ffs.

So your dog only gets three loo breaks every 24hrs? Either you're full of shit or you shouldn't have a dog.

She is vile with her behaviour and mocking but tbh I agree with her that you shouldn't be letting a dog poo in a communal shared garden.

I really do wonder how people with this attitude manage to use a park - much less a public footpath through the countryside or just leave the house.

Imagine being so worried about essence of faeces that you were unable to even read a book.

Your neighbour was unacceptably rude, but using a shared garden space as a regular toilet for your dog is just horrible.

Some really unsympathetic responses OP. Must be great to have full hearing and be easily judgemental.

Also doesn't matter if you pick up every poo within seconds there us always bits you can't get. Would you sit down where a dog had just poo'ed?

If your neighbour continues to harass you after you have put in measures to not have your dog defecate in the garden, or go in for unrequested 'cuddles' then yes I don't see why you shouldn't report her.

Of course your dog can use the shared garden. It's not like the OP is leaving the mess there. What's the point in having a garden if you can't even let your own dog run around it?