To think that screens at the dining table is rude?

[madamreign]

Obviously excepting those with additional needs who use them to regulate.

We don't allow screens at the dinner table, for adults or children, at home or in restaurants.

Am I just being old fashioned?

Our two boys (16 and 21) have them at the table, on the rare occasion we use it.

Can't say it bothers me.

I don't at home, but DS came to the table when dinner was about to be served and he left when we had all finished, and usually he was the last to finish. When the TV was in the same room, it was muted while we ate. The evening meal was the one time we were all sitting together, so it was nice to just chat.

In a restaurant, when I was conscious I didn't want DS to be disturbing anyone else who had paid for their meals, he definitely had either my phone with some games or his Ipad - until the meal arrived, and then it got put away. DH and I wanted to be able to chat to each other in a relaxed fashion, not be playing games to entertain him. It was my treat out too. Eventually he didn't need it, but that comes with age and maturity.

A friend or partner ignoring you while they scroll is rude. Children being allowed to use screens with the sound on is rude. Someone else’s child being allowed screen time quietly is non of your business.

My DC aren’t allowed tablets/screens at the dinner table at home. We don’t use them when out as a family either.

However, I have let them have screen time when we have been out to celebrate with bigger groups of people. Children shouldn’t be expected to sit calmly and concentrate on adult conversation for long periods of time. Adults out for a celebratory meal don’t usually choose a venue with play equipment that allows children to run off some steam.

Screens can allow children to experience these kinds of occasions without being miserable and/or spoiling it for other customers once they get bored.

I took a book to many restaurants as a child, Dsis brought her game boy. I promise we are both fully functional adults now, and both of us are more than able to enjoy a meal out without a distraction.

in fairness not as many kids went for meals out in the 70’s and 80’s.

Kids also have different expectations for what occupies their minds these days.

As long as the tablets are making any noise I have no idea why anyone would give two shits

Screens, screens, screens!! Aggghhh!!!

Its also none of your business what the family on the next table are doing, Ms Perfect.

Look at me- winning at the parenting game.

I suppose your kids have never had a tantrum, always eat their greens, recite the bible before bedtime and deal in stocks and shares in their spare time.

You probably wear socks with sandals.

Now do one

You probably wear socks with sandals.

🤣🤣

It's amazing how angry and defensive this has made people.

I've consistently referred to "my table" , acknowledged that some ND people use screens to regulate in the first sentence, been polite throughout and yet people are still reaching for the petty insults.

Sure there's a name for this behaviour.

I don’t care what your kid does if it’s quiet and not interrupting my meal out. I also don’t care about your inverse-judgements thinking I’m up myself that we have blanket no tech at the table rule for all of us.

our DC are now teens and it’s paid itself back dividends them not having iPads and us not using phones in front of them at the table as nobody sees it as a great loss, and as it’s now the only time of day we come together I’m glad it’s tech free and nobody is distracted by texts or whatever

How do you know the children are ND? Do you ask them?

People should not be texting or answering calls at the dinner table, no!

DD is 2 and she has my phone when we go out. She's allowed it whilst we're waiting for food but when we're eating it goes off and we eat together. I'd much rather she be distracted with Vegesaurs whilst waiting for food to arrive rather than running up and down a restaurant, getting bored and irritated and generally being a bit of a nuisance, and I'm sure other diners feel the same way!

As she gets older we'll phase it out more so she can get used to sitting and conversing with us, but she's just too little to expect that of her now and I'd rather she was quiet and happy rather than bored angry and shouting.

@MartinChuzzlewit

Do you want a shovel? 😁

@SisterMichaelsHabit I'm always curious as to what the "no screens ever" brigade would have people do with small children who can't do colouring for more than a couple of minutes and who just want to run around and play

What did parents do before screens?? - how on earth did we ever manage??!! 😂😂
And I speak as a single parent of 2 children before screens were a 'thing' - I managed just fine, as did many, many other parents.

Don’t you do it at your dinner tables then. You can’t control what other people do

Nah you can keep it you need it more than me

We don't have an actual rule, but generally we are not using our phones etc. if sitting together at the table, either at home (which is mostly) or in restaurants.

Many restaurants increasingly do require you to have a screen of some sort. We have recently had to scan QR codes to bring up the menu and then order online via the app.

I guess that just means you minimise screen time in those places unless you are there alone, in which case do as you please so long as it isn't at full blast and annoying everyone else.

At home we quite often watch TV while eating at the table. There is one on the wall in our kitchen beside the table.

I can control what happens at my dinner table actually, especially if I've cooked.
I'm not talking about other people's houses. But yes, I think it's rude if phones ring at other tables in restaurants. Basic manners.

I couldn't give a shit if phones ring at other tables. I doubt I'd even notice to be honest.

We don’t have screens at the table, regardless of whether it’s a home or we’re out. We’ve always had a no screens rule and my kids are fine. They aren’t perfect but I don’t agree with previous posters who suggest that screens are a necessity for when you eat out. Of course I realise some children have special needs and then of course it’s a different story.

Says who? Not everyone is a control freak policing who sends a 10 second text and who doesn't.

We are the same, zero technology at the table wherever we are

Says me! I just happen to think that the conversation you're having with the people you're with is more important than a mobile phone.

This.

It's OK in situations where you are having adult social time which goes on for ages and kids are expected to just sit there.

They can't keep track of the conversation, it goes over their heads and they're often not really included once they've been asked how school is etc. It's fine to have a child appropriate app/ game to entertain them in that situation.

We have no screens at all the dining table at home (all meals are eaten at the table), it’s funny as it annoys our teen as she doesn’t understand why she is t even allowed to have it on the table upside down.

For me it’s manners, eating is family time, we discuss our days, touch base and enjoy conversation.

However, if we go out with friends, want a nice meal out and be able to have some relaxing adult conversation (we have multiple children from a toddler to a teen) then yes I will use them. We bring bags of toys/colouring etc but sometimes a film quietly on allows that last glass of wine or coffee.

I don’t think your old fashioned at all - I am sick to death of them but they do have their uses and sometimes we all need a bit of the screen babysitter!