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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To call my neighbour selfish

457 replies

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 19:36

We live in a quiet street with about 10 houses in. I have mobility issues and also struggle with my MH. It's important for me to have as much sleep as possible so I tend to go to bed at 10.30pm and don't get up until about 11am.

Very recently a family moved in next door. They have 3 children who are lovely and not a problem. But their mother annoys me and I feel she is being selfish. She works strange hours and most days leaves the house to go to work at 4.30am. She drives an old car and the doors creaks when she opens it. She then normally sits in the car with it running for 5 mins before driving off. The father is fine.

I have spoken to her and told her about my health issues and have asked her to consider changing her working hours, replace her car or to park her car in a road away from the house. She said she was sorry that she disturbs me but she cannot change her working hours due to the nature of her job. She said they can't afford to replace the car and as its an old car she has to warm it up before going anywhere. She admits the door creaks and said that oiling is didn't help. She is not willing to park away from home and she doesn't think its safe to walk on her own early in the morning with no streetlights.

She is making me more poorly. I am now having to sleep a bit in the afternoon due go being disturbed and as a result am missing out on me time.

What can I do about it? I'm fed up of her selfish behaviour.

OP posts:
JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots · 21/09/2023 20:04

Awesome

Overthebow · 21/09/2023 20:06

What do you mean by ‘me time’, you already sleep for a very long time! YABU, you cannot ask someone to change their working hours to suit your own schedule. Buy her a new car if you’re so concerned. You’re the one whose selfish.

HakunaMatiÅ‚da · 21/09/2023 20:06

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 19:55

Thank you for the responses. I hate ear plugs so can't use them but will try white noise as someone suggested.

Edited

So neighbour changing job is acceptable but wearing earplugs isn’t?

XenoBitch · 21/09/2023 20:07

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 19:55

Thank you for the responses. I hate ear plugs so can't use them but will try white noise as someone suggested.

Edited

What do you hate the most? The noise, or earplugs?

Cowlover89 · 21/09/2023 20:07

You're being ridiculous

Beadyeyes91 · 21/09/2023 20:07

Such an example of entitlement which actually makes a mockery of people who also have medical and mental health issues.

I'm surprised the neighbour didn't lamp you one.

GodblessHookyStreet · 21/09/2023 20:09

Is this a wind up ???!!!! Must be FFS

worriedandworries · 21/09/2023 20:09

This is hilarious.

I don't choose to be poorly, but she can choose her job.

And you can choose to move house

Honestly this has made my day with how entitled it is 😂😂

AvonCallingBarksdale · 21/09/2023 20:10

@Fedupandgrumpy1 are you on glue??! 🤣. You want her to change her job so that you can continue to spend 12.5 hours in bed every night? Jesus Christ on a bike. Your life must be full of people disappointing you if all your requests are this insane

DontGiveMeThatOldCrap · 21/09/2023 20:12

Is this a genuine post? Use earplugs, for goodness sake! Asking her to change her working hours? Madness.

Bonjovispjs · 21/09/2023 20:12

Wow, I hate noisy neighbours but even I think you're being ridiculous. She's just going to work. Try and stick with the earplugs, I did and soon got used to them. Now I can't sleep without them even if I'm staying somewhere completely quiet as it just doesn't feel right.

Binannoyance · 21/09/2023 20:12

Reverse?

ActDottie · 21/09/2023 20:12

This can’t be real lol. You’re being ridiculous.

She can’t change her bloody work hours to suit you what a ridiculous request!!!

DemBonesDemBones · 21/09/2023 20:12

'I have spoken to her and told her about my health issues and have asked her to consider changing her working hours, replace her car or to park her car in a road away from the house.'

No you didn't 😆 On the off chance anyone in life is this selfish my tip would be go to bed earlier.

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 20:13

I don't have the money to buy her a new car. Mine is on the mobility scheme so I don't even have my own car but appreciate that the scheme helps me. I do know that I wouldn't be able to afford a car myself so I know its not easy, but she does work so should have some spare money.

OP posts:
WashableVelvet · 21/09/2023 20:14

This is an excellent post 😂 ahh she’ll love it when you buy her a nice new quiet car, it’s clearly the only way forward

Bouncyball23 · 21/09/2023 20:14

How about you move to the countryside where its quiet instead off making these ridiculous requests to her!

Overthebow · 21/09/2023 20:14

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 20:13

I don't have the money to buy her a new car. Mine is on the mobility scheme so I don't even have my own car but appreciate that the scheme helps me. I do know that I wouldn't be able to afford a car myself so I know its not easy, but she does work so should have some spare money.

You really can’t suggest that she buys a new car. She’s not doing anything wrong op, you have to put up with it or come up with your own solution for yourself, do not bring her in to this.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 21/09/2023 20:14

I can confirm that people like this do exist. My ex neighbour raged at my utterly selfish DH for starting his car to drive to work at 6.00 am. Apparently the law doesn't allow noise before 7.00 and he was going to report DH to the council. I assume the council laughed at him as we never heard from them.

OhYetAnotherBrickInTheWall · 21/09/2023 20:14

You’ve got to be on the wind up OP!

’she works so she should have spare money’

Have a word with your unreasonable self.

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 21/09/2023 20:15

Oh stop. The woman is having to go to work in the middle of the night to work her arse off to pay a good proportion of her wages in tax to pay your benefits. You should be grateful to her.

Overthebow · 21/09/2023 20:15

she has a car, she doesn’t need a new one, you just don’t like it.

XenoBitch · 21/09/2023 20:16

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 20:13

I don't have the money to buy her a new car. Mine is on the mobility scheme so I don't even have my own car but appreciate that the scheme helps me. I do know that I wouldn't be able to afford a car myself so I know its not easy, but she does work so should have some spare money.

There is a cost of living crisis on. She works, yes, but could be worse off than you.

You claim PIP, so use that money to get ear plugs that you get on with, and to invest in soundproofing for your bedroom. If getting proper sleep is what keeps you well, then that is what the money is for.

SephrinaX · 21/09/2023 20:16

Fedupandgrumpy1 · 21/09/2023 20:13

I don't have the money to buy her a new car. Mine is on the mobility scheme so I don't even have my own car but appreciate that the scheme helps me. I do know that I wouldn't be able to afford a car myself so I know its not easy, but she does work so should have some spare money.

Yeah she's getting up at 4.30am and has 3 kids. Sounds like she has 'spare money' to buy a new car to suit you!

There is no way this is real.

WhamBamThankU · 21/09/2023 20:16

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