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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think baby should always have formula ready

249 replies

Checkcheck12 · 07/09/2023 19:41

Hi all,

We have a 1 year old. I think our baby should always have formula made up and ready to drink, no exceptions.

My partner has, on about 5 occasions, been left in charge and not had food ready and baby has screamed relentlessly OF COURSE and is then too upset to feed. On other occasions our baby cries and he says he is going to get the formula then just stops to fold a bit of laundry on the way. Wtf. Baby is crying...

On about 20 other occasions when he is supposed to be the main carer (for context we live together but we both have jobs and I am trying to finish a course - there are times I am main carer so he can do things he values) I have found that no bottles were clean and no formula was made and told him to do it and each time he has said "I was just doing it" and then slides out of his chair. He'd clearly forgotten/not noticed.

He says my standards for parenting are too high, although when I asked him which standards other than this were too high he couldn't say (because I am super flexible about everything other than letting her sit in a dirty nappy and he has never let her do that, thank god).

So, Mumsnet, is my standard for feeding out baby too high?
Am I being unreasonable, that our baby should never have to wait for formula when she cries?

OP posts:

Cowlover89 · 07/09/2023 19:43

Your baby doesn't need formula anymore

MuggleMe · 07/09/2023 19:43

I think anticipating when baby might need a bottle is good, and being prompt to make one when needed is important, but having a bottle ready at all times isn't necessary. Surely it's supposed to be made with boiled water anyway?

Alleycatz · 07/09/2023 19:44

Cowlover89 · 07/09/2023 19:43

Your baby doesn't need formula anymore

So funny I knew that was going to be the first response 🤣🤣🤣

TheBarbieEffect · 07/09/2023 19:44

YABU. Your “baby” is one and doesn’t need formula anymore.

Topofthemornintoya · 07/09/2023 19:44

Yes as a parent you should always be thinking about when your baby's next feed is due and be mindful of getting that started soon. However your baby can move onto cows milk now they are 1 so things will be easier.

Swingwhenyourewinning · 07/09/2023 19:44

At one just give them full fat milk

HappierTimesAhead · 07/09/2023 19:45

Why are you still giving a one year old formula?

Original poster

Checkcheck12 · 07/09/2023 19:45

Me too, classic MN. I'll have to sort the wheat etc

OP posts:

NuffSaidSam · 07/09/2023 19:46

You are being ridiculous. Formula should be made fresh, not sitting around waiting for the baby to be hungry. Your baby is old enough to have some solid food if they're that hungry they can't wait five minutes for a bottle.

But...he is being ridiculous when he stops to fold laundry on the way to get the milk. He should also keep the bottles washed etc.

By one, your baby doesn't need formula or a bottle though. Cows milk in a cup. Problem solved.

Original poster

Checkcheck12 · 07/09/2023 19:46

She can't yet, she has a serious allergy to it. Allergy team say 'no'.

OP posts:

YouHoooo · 07/09/2023 19:47

your policy makes sense if they’re a tiny baby, but at one they can wait a bit or have a snack (or cows milk…).

Honestly, let your partner parent his own way. It makes life easier for everyone.

TeddyBeans · 07/09/2023 19:47

Massively unreasonable. Never known a one year old to be so devastated that formula isn't on tap that they then don't drink it when it's presented to them

Switcher · 07/09/2023 19:48

Bit precious no? Imagine having three kids and then think about whether any of this would still bother you.

Ostryga · 07/09/2023 19:48

If he was a week old I’d be on your side 100% but at one it’s not going to do him any harm to have to wait a moment for a bottle.

It is frustrating when you both don’t align in parenting and how you like to do things. Have you sat down with him and discussed this properly? Without arguing/getting angry?

mynameiscalypso · 07/09/2023 19:48

I think it's fine with a one year old. You can usually distract them with something unlike a tiny baby.

Ma12 · 07/09/2023 19:48

I think they’re too high OP. I have a one year old (15 months) and he has milk (sometimes prescribed formula but other times a dairy alternative) morning and evening - we never make it up in advance, ever. Also never made it up in advance before he turned 1, just sorted the bottle when he was hungry.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/09/2023 19:48

I think our baby should always have formula made up and ready to drink, no exceptions.

Why? What's going to happen? Crying? That happens for many reasons in a toddler's life, many of which are due to things like the sky being the wrong colour, it being the wrong episode of Peppa Pig, there being a 'day' in the day. Could easily be a thousand of reasons other than wanting a bottle. Starvation? No. Permanent trauma from washing up a bottle they don't even need and putting the kettle on? No.

cocunut · 07/09/2023 19:48

Get a prep machine OP. Takes literally 30 seconds to make a bottle.,.

Original poster

Checkcheck12 · 07/09/2023 19:48

She eats solids too... She is weaning...
You have to make formula fresh at a high temperature, and she can't drink it while its scalding hot, it has to cool hence being ready to drink.

OP posts:

Clefable · 07/09/2023 19:48

After 1, surely if they're that hungry you give them actual food? Then you can make some formula to put in a cup or whatever while they're eating?

Jojobees · 07/09/2023 19:49

Your child is 1. They don’t need formula, and probably a regular 3 bottles a day. Why on earth do they need formula ready to drink immediately available 24hrs a day?
Yes your standards are way too high. At one a child can wait the 30 seconds it takes to pour cows milk into a bottle.
Give your partner a break.

buzzlightyearsgloves · 07/09/2023 19:49

A one year old isn't a baby

Wrigglypiggly · 07/09/2023 19:49

Checkcheck12 · 07/09/2023 19:46

She can't yet, she has a serious allergy to it. Allergy team say 'no'.

Dietician advised Koko Super when my allergy babe hit 1. Available in the supermarket, added vitamins and minerals, high fat content like whole milk, and no need to prep formula or bottles, might help!

Cowlover89 · 07/09/2023 19:50

Checkcheck12 · 07/09/2023 19:48

She eats solids too... She is weaning...
You have to make formula fresh at a high temperature, and she can't drink it while its scalding hot, it has to cool hence being ready to drink.

No shit sherlock.

MeinKraft · 07/09/2023 19:50

Did you mean to write 1 year and not 1 month?

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