To hate parenting?

[StrongUsernameHere]

Every mum I spoke to while I was pregnant told me to max out my mat leave - ‘you’ll want all the time you can get with your baby!’ they said. Now I’m coming to the end of mat leave and wish I’d only done 6 or max 9 months. I love my baby obviously but I HATE spending all day with her alone. I mean it drives me mad. I can’t wait for my baby to go to nursery, which will be happening very soon, thankfully.

I feel so alone in this. I know mums who aren’t even going back to work because they love it so much. Should I never have had a baby? Am I just not cut out for this?

Babies number one? What does that even mean? Did the baby tell you that then at 5 months old?
you are only the primary caregiver if you spend the most time with the baby during it’s waking hours. Full stop.

My point exactly. It’s utter nonsense.

See, it's utter nonsense to me when random people on the internet seem to think they know other people's babies better than their parents.

I know exactly what pp means. DS has a bond with his keyworker at nursery but it's nothing like the bond he has with me or DH and he doesn't need to be able to talk for me to know that.

Okay. You do you.

Baby stage was the best/easiest for me. By the end of my mat leave though I felt I had disappeared, I was stressed about it ending but I also craved human interaction. He's 6 now and unfortunately I think a mini me. I find it difficult to parent 😭. It's hard being a mum. I really don't think about what I say to him. I think I've probably turned into a shitty mum going off of my own upbringing. I just hope I don't mess him up too much

Your position is entrenched.

@SouthLondonMum22 exactly

OP sorry your thread is getting a bit aggy. Be assured though that loads of people find the first months tough: for me it has got easier and easier so hopefully things will improve for you, too. I think some people do find the baby stage easy, but by no means all! And also remember that Instagram etc tends to make it look like everyone is enjoying every moment... but it's not the full story

Yes it is. Like I said before, I'm confident with my decision.

I am exiting because I don’t know your background and history, and if you are pregnant and are going into another newborn stage and have this level of rigid and nevstive thinking already then it does not bode well.

Please tell the GP and midwife what you have said on here. There is plenty of support out there. London is an especially hard place to raise children 💐

Also OP having spent the day at home with my one year old (unusually - normally we'd go out), I do think it's actually easier if you force yourself to go out. It's good for entertaining the baby and you'll both have a nice time.

So yep agree with @PurpleWisteria1 on that, even if we disagree about whether I have a good bond with my daughter

Not knowing my background/history hasn't stopped you up until now so why bother? I'd drop the faux concern too, it is obvious that you don't have any genuine concern or you wouldn't have said half of the things you have. Especially since you're supposed to be a mental healthcare professional.

Tell the GP and Midwife what? That I dislike the newborn stage? That I'll be going back to work when baby is 3 months like I did with DS? Why on earth would I? None of that is concerning and the Health Visitor certainly didn't show any concern when I went back to work with DS. Perhaps she'd disagree with you.

Parenting isn't my favourite thing. I love my 3 year old, but she can be hard work.

It's why I've not had another yet, and likely won't.

The strength / type of bond you have with a child does not determine weather you are the primary caregiver though?

Don’t beat yourself up about it… I was so ready to go back to work after 9 months, babies are boring and hard work! My toddler is 2.5 now and I love my weekends with him but am so happy to get back to my desk on a Monday and turn into the ‘non parent’ version of myself again for a bit.