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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wants to sleep with the window open

149 replies

Dramatic · 04/09/2023 23:15

Ok so I am aware it's a bit warm atm, however I cannot settle with the window open. Mostly because I have a deathly fear of moths but also the noise keeps me awake.

Aibu to want it closed?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/09/2023 23:16

Do you have a spare room one of you can sleep in?

UndercoverCop · 04/09/2023 23:16

Our bedroom windows (tilt and turn) haven't been closed since April/May
Fresh air is essential!

RushieRoo · 04/09/2023 23:16

I prefer it open all year round - I only tend to shut it if it’s actually snowing. I hate stuffy rooms at night

SummerSazz · 04/09/2023 23:17

Yanbu to have a preference for the window closed.

I have a window open all year round and never met a moth so that's a bit of a rubbish reason imo.

SayNoToDoorToDoor · 04/09/2023 23:17

Buy a net for the window. They’re really cheap, you put Velcro round the frame and cut the net to size.

Then you both get cool air without added beasties. It’s a game changer.

Applebyapples · 04/09/2023 23:17

In my opinion, YABU not to have the window open at night to allow cooler night air in during a heatwave. All ours are wide open

Nochoiceleft · 04/09/2023 23:17

I can't sleep with the window closed.

whitebreadjamsandwich · 04/09/2023 23:18

I have my bedroom window open all year, at various levels of open-ness depending on the weather, and it only occasionally gets shut if we are in super subzero temps or it's howling a gale. I get a sore head otherwise. So yes, to me, you are YABU. We are in North Scotland and all our windows are open tonight - it's been fecking scorching all day!

bakewellbride · 04/09/2023 23:19

Why don't you compromise and have it open just a tiny bit? I hate moths too and the chance of one getting through a tiny gap with no light to entice them in in the first place is very, very low.

Original poster
Dramatic · 04/09/2023 23:19

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/09/2023 23:16

Do you have a spare room one of you can sleep in?

Unfortunately not, we don't have a spare

OP posts:
Circumferences · 04/09/2023 23:21

Curtains drawn but window open would solve any moth issues - they wouldn't get in.

Original poster
Dramatic · 04/09/2023 23:21

SummerSazz · 04/09/2023 23:17

Yanbu to have a preference for the window closed.

I have a window open all year round and never met a moth so that's a bit of a rubbish reason imo.

There was a moth in our bedroom last week. They are everywhere, I can't have the doors or windows open at all or one will get in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dramatic · 04/09/2023 23:22

SayNoToDoorToDoor · 04/09/2023 23:17

Buy a net for the window. They’re really cheap, you put Velcro round the frame and cut the net to size.

Then you both get cool air without added beasties. It’s a game changer.

This is actually a great idea, I feel daft for not having thought of it

OP posts:
Anewnamea · 04/09/2023 23:24

YANBU.

It wouldn’t work for me being with a guy who needed the windows open as due to my allergies I need to keep the windows closed over night to get a break from the outside air. I also am not keen on moths and bugs that inevitably get in and I live near a road so wouldn’t like the noise of cars and wouldn’t be able to settle either.

That said, i get that some people struggle with them closed but I just can’t have that. I’m not sure I’d say either of you are BU.

It’s ridiculous to say you are BU to prefer windows open or closed? It’s literally just a preference and neither of you are wrong!

Perhaps reach a compromise where some nights they’re open.

Lilyhatesjaz · 04/09/2023 23:26

We normally have the window shut as there are dogs that bark to past midnight and the dawn chorus starts at about 3am.
The seagulls usually start first, followed by a flock of starlings with the pigeons bringing up the rear.
When it's this hot we leave the window open and I shut it when the birds wake me up.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 04/09/2023 23:33

RushieRoo · 04/09/2023 23:16

I prefer it open all year round - I only tend to shut it if it’s actually snowing. I hate stuffy rooms at night

Same here, except i leave them open during snow too!

Hibiscrubbed · 04/09/2023 23:39

I have my window open all year round. I love nothing more than being cosy with a hot water bottle and my winter duvet, while a fresh air wafts around the room. So healthy.

SmoothSeasDoNotMakeGoodSailors · 04/09/2023 23:43

Sounds like me and my DP! I only stay at his one day a week and the window is open, I have got used to the noise but the first few times I stayed over I didn't sleep at all. I live on the ground floor on a reasonably busy road so my window is never open here, including when he stays over.

PhilMitchellsleatherbomber · 04/09/2023 23:52

SayNoToDoorToDoor · 04/09/2023 23:17

Buy a net for the window. They’re really cheap, you put Velcro round the frame and cut the net to size.

Then you both get cool air without added beasties. It’s a game changer.

We’ve done this after bats coming into the house, won’t have the windows without the nets now.

notaladyinred · 05/09/2023 00:02

YABVU

LovePoppy · 05/09/2023 00:06

Are screens not a normal thing in the UK?

Grendell · 05/09/2023 00:11

Never - I would never be able to sleep with windows open. Between allergies (grass, ragweed), and Peeping Toms (2x) - no way.

tolerable · 05/09/2023 00:25

can u maybe light a tealight and place it outside window(on ledge) that generally...works.as a detterant

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 05/09/2023 00:37

It's spider season - no thank you, I'm not practically inviting them in! Although may be looking at window nets on Amazon!

Also we live a stones throw from a stretch of road the boy racers like to pretend is their own personal racetrack at night - The Fast and the Feckless I call them - and the noise from their souped up crapmobiles can be pretty bad when they're out.

Ghosttofu99 · 05/09/2023 00:43

I miss read this as ‘husband wants to have sex with the windows open.’