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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wants to sleep with the window open

149 replies

Dramatic · 04/09/2023 23:15

Ok so I am aware it's a bit warm atm, however I cannot settle with the window open. Mostly because I have a deathly fear of moths but also the noise keeps me awake.

Aibu to want it closed?

OP posts:
BirdiePlantaganet · 05/09/2023 00:46

We have ours open all year round. Never have moths come in. I can’t sleep in a stuffy room.

Palindrone · 05/09/2023 00:51

I sleep with the window open all year round. No matter the weather, the room feels stuffy without air circulating and I can't sleep.

I wear foam earplugs so noise doesn't disturb me.

Moths are harmless so your 'deathly fear' is irrational, how is DH being the unreasonable one?

CallieQ · 05/09/2023 00:51

YABU it's too hot to sleep with windows closed

NeedTheSeaside · 05/09/2023 00:52

A relationship would never make it over the start line with a window closer.
i have all my bedroom windows open a front room window open and the skylight, with a fan in front of the window to draw the air in.

im still too hot in my birthday suit and some frozen water.

in the winter I put the fan away but the windows stay open, occasional closed down to just an inch or so on the coldest nights.

suburbophobe · 05/09/2023 00:53

Fresh air is essential!

This!

No way could I sleep without a window open in the bedroom... (It's on a latch).

StrawberryWater · 05/09/2023 00:53

Our bedroom window is pretty much open from March/April to October. It’s too stuffy to close it, especially at the moment when we’ve finally had some sunshine for the first time in months.

Tinkerbyebye · 05/09/2023 00:55

I have the window open all year round. No moths. Just thunder flies if I have the light on

FrostieBoabby · 05/09/2023 00:58

I would rather sleep on the sofa than put up with street noise and flapping curtains! Not so bothered about moths, just keep the light off.

junbean · 05/09/2023 01:00

Why don't y’all have screens over your windows? Where I live we have our windows open 24/7 in the summer and screens are crucial. I only found out recently via youtube that many people in the world don’t use them. Fresh air and no bugs is wonderful!! Get a screen!

HeatherMoores · 05/09/2023 01:05

Are they particularly big moths or something?

Lunde · 05/09/2023 01:06

We sleep with the windows open most of the year - although can get a bit tricky when we hit -25C

I'm totally with you on the moths - last year we got invaded by hornet moths which are really scary - but I get window nets from Clas Ohlson to keep them out

DH wants to sleep with the window open
marthawashington · 05/09/2023 01:24

I'm an expat in the US and I have embraced window-screen life! I cannot understand why they're not used in the UK. I tried to convince my mum, who was very allergic to wasps to get them, but she didn't like change Hmm

Floralnomad · 05/09/2023 01:59

We have roller fly screens , haven’t had a fly / moth indoors for years .

BasiliskStare · 05/09/2023 02:23

DS has bought some screening stuff for his windows - sounds like above - cut to size and velcro on - no flies etc can get in but he can leave the window open for fresh air.

sjpkgp1 · 05/09/2023 02:25

It is (sort of) a good preference. OH prefers window open, even in winter. I'm not so keen, I have an electric blanket on my side and the combo of being nice and warm, with fresh air is lovely. We don't get moths or midges (we overlook the sea) but if we did, a net. You do get used to the noise, especially road noise, and that sort rarely disturbs us (and it puts you in good stead for anywhere you ever sleep in the world), we sort of prefer it now as you know what is going on outside of your door, but if there were regular disturbances, I think I would be closing the window.

Brightandshining · 05/09/2023 02:26

Get an insect net for the window and buy some earplugs. Takes a few nights to get used to wearing earplugs but they are an absolute game changer if you are easily woken by noise. Try out different types to see what works best for you. I prefer silicone or wax ones as I find them most comfortable and they completely block out extremal noise because you create a complete seal with them.

MysteryBelle · 05/09/2023 02:47

Yes put a screen in. I like having the windows open. My husband is the opposite.

CatherinedeBourgh · 05/09/2023 02:54

This is why we sleep in separate rooms in the summer. I can't sleep with the window open (light, noise) he can't sleep with it shut (he wears airpods and covers his face in bed).

CrunchyCarrot · 05/09/2023 03:05

LovePoppy · 05/09/2023 00:06

Are screens not a normal thing in the UK?

No they're not. I emigrated from Australia and was horrified that any bug can come in! As soon as I was able I put mesh over windows as a PP described, that has been a game changer.

I normally sleep with the windows closed unless it's hot as it is tonight. Then I will open them. At least we are in a quiet area.

calyxx · 05/09/2023 04:43

No screens, because bug life was traditionally not as wild as in the US and Australia! I loathe screens obscuring the view, have windows open all year round, close curtains at night- no moths.

Missingthegore · 05/09/2023 04:45

Don't have the light on when the window is open
Or get a fly screen

MentholLoad · 05/09/2023 04:47

I can't sleep with the windows closed, even when it's freezing cold outside. I don't feel like I can breath if they are closed

Clafoutie · 05/09/2023 05:01

Palindrone · 05/09/2023 00:51

I sleep with the window open all year round. No matter the weather, the room feels stuffy without air circulating and I can't sleep.

I wear foam earplugs so noise doesn't disturb me.

Moths are harmless so your 'deathly fear' is irrational, how is DH being the unreasonable one?

Moths are harmless so your 'deathly fear' is irrational, how is DH being the unreasonable one?

Perhaps a bit harsh. This is, after all, the exact definition of a phobia,but being irrational doesn’t make it less real.

LindaCrochet · 05/09/2023 05:33

Window open all year for me. I'm looking forward to freezing cold nights, cold nose and actually using my duvet.

Shoxfordian · 05/09/2023 05:46

It’s too hot at the moment not to have the window open, I think moths are generally attracted by light so if you have the light off then they’re not coming in anyway