Nanny spending more than agreed on own expenses

[Saysomethingorwhatnot]

I’ve name changed for this as I post a lot in my usual name, and don’t want this linked to my other threads.

I am a single parent working full-time, and have a full-time live-out Nanny for my 3 primary school aged DC who does everything; childcare/activities/shopping/cooking/cleaning/washing/ironing/errands etc.

So that Nanny doesn’t need to constantly ask me for money to facilitate the above, I provide a bank card with a limited amount of cash available for her to spend on house/children related purchases.

I used to add £160 to Nanny’s monthly payslip to cover travelling round with the children (Nanny has own car), however I’ve recently bought a new car which Nanny knows she can use anytime (and actually Nanny does use my car regularly as I don’t at all during the week as I commute using trains).

A few months before I got my new car, Nanny asked if I could pay her the equivalent taxed cash (£30) on a weekly basis for petrol instead of through her monthly salary. I agreed as I know she struggles with managing her own money, and has asked me for advances at end of week 3/beginning of week 4 of a month a few times.

My bank has recently asked for my updated mobile details, and I’ve suddenly started receiving notifications. I received a bank notification today to say Nanny has spent the double the amount I advised she could spend on weekly petrol (so £60 instead of £30). Possibly because she was on annual leave one of the weeks, however my thought is that if she was on annual leave, she wasn’t ferrying the children around. Plus she has access to my car when with us, so I shouldn’t be paying her car expenses as well. I looked back through my bank statements and noticed she’d spent the same double amount (£60) a few times previously (either after annual leave or during school holidays).

I am a fair employer, paying a market rate salary, plus I give Nanny payslip bonuses and extra days off during the year. I can afford the extra amounts Nanny has spent on petrol as I earn a decent salary, however wondering whether I would be unreasonable to say no petrol expense except when with children and for only the agreed amount. It’s really quite sensitive, as she is very much part of our family, DC love her, and I couldn’t do what I do without her. Makes me feel I’m being petty to quibble over £30 here and there, but I must admit it has irked me. If general consensus is that I should leave it, then I will.

Grateful for any thoughts.

I’m not an expert, but I don’t understand why you’re not asking for receipts for every transaction? I would have thought you’d need them for claiming VAT for any workplace expense?

I’ve needed receipts for every expense I claim. No receipt means I don’t get my money back.

If you were ever to get audited from HMRC they would want copies of receipts for all your tax deductions for workplace expenses.

Just tell her you need to start getting receipts because any overpayments would be an increase to her wage and she’d need to pay the appropriate tax and ni on that. Whether you stick to the £30 a week advance and to only use your car, then include whatever change from that on her payslips as an advanced payment. If she’s using her own car then pay the 45 pence per mile and she can record the mileage. And the 45 pence covers wear and tear so you definitely should not be paying for her MOT and repairs - that’s surely a taxable benefit?

Even better!

Original reply 🙄💅🏻

I think is a genuine misunderstanding between the two of you. Your Nanny asked if you could pay an already agreed monthly amount in a different way, you agreed, and she has stuck to that figure. Did you deduct a week from it if she had a weeks leave when she was paid it monthly op? If no, then she has simply continued with the original agreed expense payment.
Personally, if she’s so good, and if she’s only taking the amount per month that would add up to what was agreed pre your car, I’d just leave it and keeps closer eye on my finances, just to make sure there weren’t any monies on top of the weekly £30 being drawn.

Also, Nanny is named on my comprehensive insurance policy; I specifically included her so she could use my car instead of hers.

She's on £40k a year plus expenses. Surely not an aupair's salary

That's it sorted. No more petrol money moving forward.

£30 here and there now.. £100 here and there?

just have a chat with her, if you don’t mention the small things, it’ll be harder if it increases

@Sauvblanctime

Here is a fried egg, to go with the chip on your shoulder.

Could you say your accountant has queried dates/expenses and she needs to only claim for when she’s working or you’ll get in trouble?

I’m reading the salary ranges in the thread below and thinking I should change career!

I’m only asking because it’s all anonymous but if I may, are you paying £50k to £80k per year?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childcare/4865241-how-much-for-a-nanny

Just goes to show the value of the work done by mums and dads…

If she’s only using your car then you’ll have to stop the fuel allowance. HMRC will not let you claim commute as an expense.

You sound nasty AND jealous now lol must be nice having someone else fund you so you don't have to work. Op needs to work I presume to survive.

Op I would take as an opportunity to re set, it does seem confusing, she can have a petrol expense, or buy it on your card or use your car? Maybe change things up and make it clearer, tell her your insuring her on yours and you'll make sure it's always full so she can do all kid journeys in that?

Patronising.

I’m allergic to eggs but thanks anyway

you need to look at the spend over time and as others have said maybe its two weeks worth - see if it matches with leave.

Things have changed re the cars with the availability of yours now. Maybe she is loath to drive a new car?? If you told her 30 pw is she going above that on average? Thats when you have the discussion and if its for actual mileage then she needs to provide that. These days 30 quid for most cars isn't even half a tank and up until now its suited you to use her vehicle provided taxed and insured etc at her cost albeit with a small (taxed) consideration.

I would refresh the car agreement with the new vehicle available and maybe look at allowance for petrol and what it is meant for ie is it meant to help pay for getting vehicle to work as well as running around?

Personally I would write anything off to date as it doesn't look like you are talking about a large amount of money and then discuss how it will work going forward with the new car available.

She is taking money and claiming it's petrol on an electric car she uses???

Don't say anything and watch your finances closely move money if you have to and give her a set allowance a week and if she spends over ask her to give you receipts. You need to manage your house like an accountant and ask for proof for the tax man/woman.

I’d make it a conversation about is she uncomfortable with driving your car as you’ve notice the fuel allowance for driving the children around has still been being take so you want to make sure she’s comfortable with the car.

When she says no everything’s fine, then you can be amazing, make sure you use mine from now on for all the during work hours with the children/admin and I’ll remove the allowance from the account for now.

So she believes she entitled to £160 a month travel expenses, you've told her she can have that amount so it doesn't matter if she does £30 a week or £60 if she misses a week. This is what you've agreed with her so no wonder she's taking it.

Nannies, not nannys or nanny's.

If you want to avoid the conversation just say going forward only use your electric car, say it needs more use as you hardly use it.

Then there's no need to be taking any petrol money

Could you give her a small payrise that includes this (if taking it because she feels entitled to it) and say it's no longer covered as a separate expense. Yes, it means giving her the money despite her slight grabbiness (not the right word), but it makes it clear she can no longer take something for nothing.

As a lone parent with a very demanding job, who used to have a nanny, this kind of comment really pisses me off.

@Sauvblanctime are you a lone parent? Do you work full time and long hours in a demanding job?

Just insist she uses your car going forwards, that way she can't abuse your trust because that's what taking an extra £30 here and there amounts to

I wouldn’t raise this with her, its a grey area in that you agreed 30 per week and she’s taking you at your word, its really not a lot of money in the overall context and will hurt your relationship long term if handled badly. If you want to make changes to salary and expenses do it as part of her annual review then its a more collaborative discussion.