Nanny spending more than agreed on own expenses

[Saysomethingorwhatnot]

I’ve name changed for this as I post a lot in my usual name, and don’t want this linked to my other threads.

I am a single parent working full-time, and have a full-time live-out Nanny for my 3 primary school aged DC who does everything; childcare/activities/shopping/cooking/cleaning/washing/ironing/errands etc.

So that Nanny doesn’t need to constantly ask me for money to facilitate the above, I provide a bank card with a limited amount of cash available for her to spend on house/children related purchases.

I used to add £160 to Nanny’s monthly payslip to cover travelling round with the children (Nanny has own car), however I’ve recently bought a new car which Nanny knows she can use anytime (and actually Nanny does use my car regularly as I don’t at all during the week as I commute using trains).

A few months before I got my new car, Nanny asked if I could pay her the equivalent taxed cash (£30) on a weekly basis for petrol instead of through her monthly salary. I agreed as I know she struggles with managing her own money, and has asked me for advances at end of week 3/beginning of week 4 of a month a few times.

My bank has recently asked for my updated mobile details, and I’ve suddenly started receiving notifications. I received a bank notification today to say Nanny has spent the double the amount I advised she could spend on weekly petrol (so £60 instead of £30). Possibly because she was on annual leave one of the weeks, however my thought is that if she was on annual leave, she wasn’t ferrying the children around. Plus she has access to my car when with us, so I shouldn’t be paying her car expenses as well. I looked back through my bank statements and noticed she’d spent the same double amount (£60) a few times previously (either after annual leave or during school holidays).

I am a fair employer, paying a market rate salary, plus I give Nanny payslip bonuses and extra days off during the year. I can afford the extra amounts Nanny has spent on petrol as I earn a decent salary, however wondering whether I would be unreasonable to say no petrol expense except when with children and for only the agreed amount. It’s really quite sensitive, as she is very much part of our family, DC love her, and I couldn’t do what I do without her. Makes me feel I’m being petty to quibble over £30 here and there, but I must admit it has irked me. If general consensus is that I should leave it, then I will.

Grateful for any thoughts.

wowzers. If you want a new nanny I’ll take the job 😂

Because “The Nanny” sounds too impersonal given she is an integral part of our lives, and using her actual name, or an alternative fake one I felt would be inappropriate.

When I used to Nanny I used to record my expenses and then they would reimburse me for that months expenses after the fact.

I would just talk to her about it but in a "I am looking at streamlining my finances" kind of way. Find out why she is spending that but nicely.

I vote on talk to her. Ask her to keep accurate expenses for a month so you can both work out if the current arrangement is reasonable.

I was going to suggest similar. Tell her your accountant has queried how you are managing the car finances as there are very specific regulations/tax implications. In reality, you may want to do this anyway.

You are at risk of an HMRC fine here. You can't add a set amount for petrol every month, unless you class it as income and she pays tax on it. Petrol has to be reimbursed per mile, at 45p per mile and she keeps records.

and you can't reimburse petrol in that way for her travel to/from her house to yours. It's only for travel during working hours

This is what I’d do. I’d approach it in a friendly way but maybe include if in a sort of an appraisal chat.

If you value her so much and she was so hard to find and does a great job then it’s a misunderstanding.

Is she an au pair or nanny/housekeeper/Pa? Then she probably is being underpaid in my opinion for what she actually does and maybe realises this but can’t bring it up with you so does it this way. Does she need any help with managing her personal finances and could you suggest something? Have the prices of things increased in general eg expenses aside from petrol money?

is she young? What are her 5 year plans?

One of my ex colleagues had a cleaner who was like a family friend because she’d worked for him for so many years. He trusted her implicitly and she didn’t take advantage of his trust. Yes, some employees do “steal” from their employers but sometimes there’s good reason. In one job where I was vastly underpaid I didn’t steal as such in terms of money but I certainly left an hour or two early sometimes when he wasn’t aware. I’d asked him for papyruses which I deserved on more than one occasion (and I worked bloody hard) but he always said he’d have to pay my colleague who did the exact same job as me, more, if he gave me a payrise. Funnily both of them weee begging me not to go and offering me a payrise when I did finally leave! I was always honest bar that one thing though and I used petty cash weekly.

Is she an au pair or nanny/housekeeper/Pa? Then she probably is being underpaid in my opinion for what she actually does

How is she underpaid? She is paid in the same region as a junior doctor and more than a classroom teacher?

Is this petrol to run the cat or petrol for the cat's car? Could you be clear please. Either way I now want to know where can I buy a petrol powered cat, or, a cat operated car. Thank you! One little typing error has made my day. 😄

Our nanny, my nanny, "Nicola" all sound less patronising and childish than "Nanny".

When she gets her pay rise, she’ll be going up to £42k, adding in the extra £1,920 from £160 per month travel will take her to almost £44k.

That doesn’t include any of the bonuses I previously mentioned or the 5% pension.

Annual leave is officially 28 days including bank holidays, however I usually grant her an extra 10 additional days across the year around Christmas, Easter and summer bank holiday when either my office is closed or I’m at home.

I’d say my employee is more of a combined Nanny and Housekeeper, as she looks after my DC when they are not at school, and runs my household/sorts out domestic tasks. She has 9.30am-2.30pm Monday-Friday so 20 hours per week to do all the house things, as this includes an hour lunch break.

If she has a doctor/dentist appointment she arranges it during the day, and doesn’t need to take annual leave. She takes annual leave when she likes, although tries to align with me where she can (I didn’t ask for that, although I have seen advice to say 50% should match).

She does some minor admin for me, as in she’ll post a letter, drops cheques to the bank and will take my dry cleaning etc but it’s not her job to see that those types of things happen, I would ask specifically if I wanted her to do that.

Trying to look at our situation objectively, we seem to have a mutually beneficial arrangement, though I see I need to be clearer about certain aspects.

To you perhaps. On this thread, I’m fine with using Nanny to describe a much loved and valued employee.

She sounds like a great employee, you sound like a great employer - long may it last!

Your “Nanny” is a Housekeeper.

OP I definitely think that Nanny assumes the £30 is part of her pay hence the doubling up when she misses a week. I don't think there is anything sinister in what she is doing. I think the tax man needing it on the payslip is the way forward without creating any drama. You sound like a good employer & she also sounds like she is doing a great job.

If you say so.

Personally, I’m very clear that childcare is the primary role; during school holidays, she does much less housework than usual, as having done it myself while on maternity leave with my youngest a few years ago, I know this would be a challenge with 3 DC under 9, although 2 do go to holiday clubs/camps to keep them entertained and busy, and the last one requires lots of looking after (DC has additional needs).

Thanks, I do see this now.

She’s taking the piss, send the suggested text you liked OP.

Not sure why you've had a hard time but then people will hate on a lifestyle they wish they had.

As she's a good employee and you're happy with her work just pop a review in the diary with her.

Catch up on how she is as an individual and then do a salary review?

Do you work or claim benefits?

I'd say that your accountant has advised you must do things differently in order to satisfy HMRC with regards to expenses.

Going forward the nanny will always use your car when at work. If there is ever an exception because your car is unavailable then you will pay 45p per mile for her to use her own car and she needs to submit a claim form for this.

Say that you realise she is used to receiving £160 per month for travel that is not actually costing her that much and that you will add this £160 to her monthly salary as salary and not as travel expenses.

This will simplify things.

Just as well really, as everyone thought you were a dick.

Clever kitty. Sorry made me lol

The petrol fuelled cat has just made me laugh …