To not want to go on a date now I’ve seen his Facebook activity?

[Nevs]

Would this put you off a guy?

Met a guy through a mutual friend while at a bar a week ago, we swapped numbers and have been Whatsapping since. Date planned for this weekend.

While texting the subject of social media came up and he said he’ll add me on Facebook.

He’s VERY active, posts stories everyday (walking the dog, getting a Starbucks coffee, his dinner) along with Photo posts every time he goes out.

It’s not just that he posts photos, but in all the photos he posts he always looks very serious and brooding, like a male model.

He went traveled to a nearby city abroad recently, twice, and on each occasion posted a photo of him stood infront of the plane. Again, with his serious brooding intense face, looking away from the camera into the distance like he didn’t know he was having his photo taken.
You’d think it was a private jet and he was a male Instagram influencer by the way he was stood infront of it, but the planes had RyanAir plastered all over it

We’d planned the date before I’d seen all of this

Perhaps go on one date and see if there is a connection

I personally get the ick from this straight away as I used to date a very well known influencer and he had such a God complex.
We’d be lying in bed and he’d need to check his page and was obsessed with how many followers he had.

The guy made decent money from it and he said it was his job which is why he was so into it but it was his personality that just made me cringe.

This guy may not be like that at all and just enjoy takings photos, especially as it’s on FB but it does sound a bit cringe to me.

And MySpace 🤣🤣

Social Media has been around for ages - I joined FB in 2006 and I had My Space and all sorts of forums pre MN. And I'm a lot older than in my 30s so fuck knows how you'd age me. Decrepit/ancient/practically dead

No different than anyone posting any selfies or pictures of themselves on Instagram or any social media site.

loads of people just don't do this though

I'd give him a chance, he may be lonely, may think it's just the thing to do etc

He might be really nice perhaps give him a chance. Sometimes a persons online persona is very different to real life , maybe he feels he needs to be like that and just didn’t have much going on in his life?

Tom would be offended that so many people seem to have forgotten him 😂

What is about Facebook? Ugh. Ordinary people doing mediocre shit like the rest of us but making out it’s something amazing… I know very intelligent down to earth people who lose all sense of self awareness through the FB lens. They turn into insufferable wankers.

If you’re posting it rather than just living it, your focus wasn’t there in the first place so whatever you are posting isn’t authentic. Like the woman who fiddled with her phone all through the fireworks display recently just to post that she’d been at a fireworks display. Even though she didn’t watch - or enjoy - the fireworks for a single second. Fake and vacuous.

I don’t blame you for feeling the ick already op. He sounds a bit hapless and a bit out of touch in terms of social awareness. But what harm does it do to give him the benefit of the doubt for one date? Maybe he just needs the love (and guidance) of a good woman?

I'd go. Lots of people make themselves look stupid on Facebook but they're great in real life. Give it a try. You liked him well enough before you saw this and being a bit clueless on social media isn't the worst thing in the world.

I'd find this off-putting OP but one thing in his defence, I'm in my 30s and my guy friends have said they feel they have to use Insta for online dating as girls find it a red flag to have nothing on socials. I'd give him a chance if you're getting on over messages

It would give me the ick! But if you’re unsure just go one the first date. He might turn out to be a nice guy and you’ve nothing to lose.

😂😂😂

Haha, the Ryanair pictures really made me laugh.

Yes, it’s cringe and I would never do it. To be honest, I don’t really get why anyone posts anything on social media. However, maybe he is a nice, kind, funny guy.

My best friend posts so many photos on social media, I believe she thinks she is an influencer, (she is not!). But she is funny, intelligent and just a great person, it really doesn’t matter. Some people just love social media!

It’s 2023, who still posts on Facebook?? I’m 28 and no one I know (other than elderly relatives) has really posted anything since about 2012. Very odd behaviour.

Maybe a Narcissist.
Or maybe just an asshat.

Maybe an asshat narcissist.

Either way, he'll likely never love you as much as his own reflection.
🤪

I'd go for the hell of it, bring it up in conversation to find out of he has a sense of humour. No sense of humour, no follow up date.

I'd go, and make a jokey "thanks for adding me - you love the ole selfies, right??!!" and see how he reacts.

So, lower your standards, ignore your own disinclination to go on this date, and don't take your own responses serious? Right.

It suggests rather a lack of self-consciousness if he thinks that looks cool; could just be a bit geeky and social awareness is not great but otherwise lovely, could be that he's a self-important twat with no sense of humour, so I wouldn't call off the date, but check what side of that divide he falls on!

Sadly, mid-30s males are quite often still clinging to their youth...

A friend's daughter is 32, and constantly bemoans how useless all the guys she knows are - can't do DIY/cook/car stuff, but can spend hours on social media and Playstation...

We have raised a generation of fuck-useless men...

He’s single, so he’s just filling his time. As cringey as it might be, he probably just likes looking like he’s got an interesting life and is swept up in the likes he gets.

My DP did this before we met, now he rarely uses it to update on his social life,
because he’s too busy enjoying it!

It wouldn’t put me off, enjoy your date!

I would be put off. If you are, please let him know now.

Can the daughter not to DIY/car stuff?

if not, she's just as useless.

You're being a bit judgey as is the PP who suggested he doesn't have a sense of humour. It could be the opposite. For all you know, it's a long-running joke with friends on Facebook that he posts wistful travelogue photos.
I had one friend who posted photos of her favourite bag in different locations. Someone who had just joined the page might have thought she was an idiot who was seriously posting accessories shots from around the world. But it was something that developed after a night out and continued as a joke.

Facebook isn't real.

Just meet him in person.