To not want to go on a date now I’ve seen his Facebook activity?

[Nevs]

Would this put you off a guy?

Met a guy through a mutual friend while at a bar a week ago, we swapped numbers and have been Whatsapping since. Date planned for this weekend.

While texting the subject of social media came up and he said he’ll add me on Facebook.

He’s VERY active, posts stories everyday (walking the dog, getting a Starbucks coffee, his dinner) along with Photo posts every time he goes out.

It’s not just that he posts photos, but in all the photos he posts he always looks very serious and brooding, like a male model.

He went traveled to a nearby city abroad recently, twice, and on each occasion posted a photo of him stood infront of the plane. Again, with his serious brooding intense face, looking away from the camera into the distance like he didn’t know he was having his photo taken.
You’d think it was a private jet and he was a male Instagram influencer by the way he was stood infront of it, but the planes had RyanAir plastered all over it

We’d planned the date before I’d seen all of this

To be fair if he is a single guy he may just lack a bit of confidence/self esteem and is trying to make himself seem more interesting than what he is. Quite likely this nonsense will get knocked on the head when he's in a relationship.

Yes that would put me off!

I think I'd be worried as well that he'd be paying more attention to his phone than the person he was on a date with and honestly i know I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face if he asked me to take his picture whilst he posed.

A friend went on a date with a guy like this. He sent her pics he took of them together and completely filtered her face (to enhance her) like he usually did himself. Needless to say she didnt see him again.

I dated one of these. Met him at work before seeing his social media. A narcissist who went on to be abusive over the years.

He sent me loads of photos of himself daily, was at the gym for hours daily and weekly sunbeds.

Treated every partner like crap - found out at the end (Clare's law application) he'd previously been investigated for domestic abuse.

Extreme example but I'd avoid.

I also had a female friend for a few months who constantly posted selfies. She was equally unstable, constantly fell out with friends and treated her on-off partner like crap.

It's a type.

I have a friend like this she is so active on social media and thinks she’s an influencer but honestly she can really laugh at herself and as a friendship group we just take the mick out of her posts with her. She’s got a really good sense of humour. I wouldn’t write it off because of that. We all know social media is just for show!

I’d have fun with it, go on the date, tell him he doesn’t look like his photo, has he been using filters and then leave! But I’m petty as f.

I thought you were going to say he was posting racist / homophobic / offensive content or something! I can’t say this would bother me, and I would still give him a chance, but equally, you’re entitled to choose not to date someone for any reason or none, so 🤷‍♀️

He sounds insecure if he's constantly posting selfies. Maybe he needs positive affirmations from people in order to feel validated. Do his posts get lots of likes?

If you liked him when you met him I’d go on the date and see how it goes-he May post all the time as he’s single and got too much time on his hands and no one to get out and about with…… you may be the one to change that for him! 😉

I would be interested in whether he could go through a date without posting on social media.

I'm picturing him doing the old chin stroking pout, or the hand lotion pose lol 😂

How many followers does he have? He may be an influencer after all… over 40,000 should pay the bills.

Having said that, It would put me off too, unless he was really getting paid as an influencer. If so, it is just a job..

I'd be interested what people comment on these pictures. It may give you a clue of their intention. It may well be a running joke with friends or family?
You have met him in person. He wasn't that much of a knob, you gave him your number ffs.
Do go or don't go but don't tell him or anyone that knows him the reason if you don't.

I wouldn’t find that appealing, no, but I’m interested that your post implies it would somehow be more acceptable if he were a ‘male Instagram influencer’ standing in front of a private jet, rather than an ordinary, if copious, FBer posting pictures of himself getting on a Ryanair flight.

What is the difference? Would you find it less unattractive if he was monetising his tendency to plaster all of his life online? Or flying Etihad rather than Ryanair?

To me they’re identical levels of unattractive, though I suppose your potential date at least has an actual job…?

This is a MASSIVE ick

I think I would still go on the date. But wouldn't have very high expectations of it bring a great success.

I'd give him a sceptical chance too.

I nearly didn't give my partner a chance on the basis of his texts, turns out he's dyslexic. Several of my friends use social media in a cringe inducing, over sharing, borderline smug way which makes me need to mute them, but it doesn't at all reflect who they are in person. They're all interesting, lovely people and not at all up themselves.

Working with children means I've always been circumspect with social media, but some people's jobs require active participation, especially if self employed.

Honestly, real life meeting is so important. What is the quality of his company like? Do you like his smell (not joking! Chemistry is real!)?

The world is doomed, no more procreation! Single mid 30's women put off by eveything. lol
Its only a date, give him a try. If it doesnt work out move on. If it does, we'll that is great.
He might be saying, met this woman, hit it off but she runs everything past an anonymous forum and it gives me the ick.
Just take a chance on life and don't over analyse.

Ick

Same! I was expecting xenophobic and racist comments, and maybe even a swastika!

This is a bit cringe, but honestly, pretty harmless.

id still go on the date.

I hate it when people make excuses for others behaving like this "low self-esteem" etc.

It is like when people are so loud and take over everything, others say "oh they are like that because they lack self-confidence"

Can't you please lack self-confidence quietly and not be a loud-mouth spoiling things for others?

If he really, genuinely does have low self-esteem and that is why he posts so childishly, he should be working on that and is not ready for a serious relationship. In his mid 30s?? Needs to grow the hell up before bringing his issues to you or anyone else.

Eh? I'm 33 and was posting wanky selfies on Myspace and Bebo in my early teens. I've been on Facebook since I was about 18 and apparently Insta was launched when I was 20. I 100% grew up on social media!

(I'm also slightly hurt to hear that mid 30s isn't young 😂)

i don’t use FB. Can you post your cancellation on his page to ensure his audience has the latest information? 😄

I'd go. It's yet more online stuff that gives you the feeling you know something about a person before you meet them, when really it's just an online persona that may be very like the real person or nothing like them. I'm in my 50s and about 25% of my male FB friends put stuff like this on FB - they're not posers in real life!

I thought you were going to say he was creeping on young girls or something.

I thought the same, mid thirties is prime ‘I was embarrassing on bebo and MySpace’ age 😂