MIL took my daughter for severe haircut without my permission wwyd ?

[Notkenough]

Hi all need advice asap. My(44f) MIL (63F) has taken my daughter{15f) to the hairdressers while away with them for a week and allowed her to get what for want of a better description I’d say is a mullet - shaved right up the sides, very short on top and thick in the back. She is due back at school in her last year in a week and a half. Not only is the hair highly unsuitable for school I am hugely concerned she will be bullied for it and her hair grows very slowly. I am disappointed in my daughter for not having the sense to choose something more sensible but I am furious with my inlaws. In my opinion it’s literally a 15 year olds job to make stupid decisions but in my absence surely it’s theirs to stop her from doing so not actively facilitate it by taking her to the hairdressers and paying for it ?? To add insult to injury she hasn’t reached out in any way shape or form to address this after apparently my OH(m37) told her to give me time to calm down. The longer it has gone on the more I am feeling disrespected and and at the point where I no longer feel I can make a logical decision. He has this evening informed me he has reached out to her to make contact with me and I don’t know what to do. I have my own thoughts but am curious what you’d all do? Thanks for reading x Apologies for the grammar I’m on my phone and multitasking x

why do we need to know all of your ages? Other than child being 15, it’s all quite irrelevant.

It's fine OP. And it'll grow. Chill.

And it not about MiL. It's about you tbh.

She’s 15 , why would your permission be needed for a haircut.

A 15 year old should be allowed to make her own decisions about her hair.give your poor MIL a break.

Mullets are in style for some younger people at the moment.

It'll grow out... eventually

If her school is anything like the one my DS went to they’ll go mad but there’s not a lot they can really do. DS spent a day in exclusion for a radical haircut, but ultimately they are obliged to provide an education.

Take some sad face pics and send them to the Daily Mail when she gets sent home. You’ll laugh in years to come.

You're right but I doubt the school will see it like that!

This.

Shes old enough to make her own choices and her own mistakes. Let her see the consequences

I clicked on post thinking child would be 2, as she isn’t YABU, 15 year olds are old enough to do what they like with their hair, MIL being involved is neither here nor there.

Pretty sure most 15 year olds know what will and won't get them bullied at school and whether they give a shit or not.

Think you should apologise to MIL, you're being ridiculous.

Is it possible she got her haircut with mil because she knows you would not have approved? At 15 it’s really up to her and it’s not the end of the world. I’m also wondering, if she got it cut really short, it could be a way of telling you she is struggling with her gender. I may be way off, but this is quite a common thing I see in my line of work.

😄

My teens are 16 - I started letting them choose their own hairstyles years ago. Their body their choice - there is no way I would consider a 15 year old child was not capable of deciding how their hair should be cut unless there was some Neurodiversity. It's not your m'n'law cut her hair - its your daughter choose what she is thinks is a cool style.

Same, I expected to read that MIL had taken a five year old and had her long curls cut off because they're too messy or whatever. Instead it's a teenager who's plenty old enough to make her own choices (however unappealing to her mother) about her hair, and it doesn't sound like MIL played any part other than taking her out.

Besides, if she'd tried saying "I don't think that hairdo's a good idea" we'd probably have had a thread complaining about her imposing on OP's DD.

I thought you were going to say your child was primary aged.
Your MIL has done nothing but pay for a haircut yoIt r 15 yo chose. It is not your MILs fault

Don't worry about it OP. It's your daughter's problem as she chose the style. All this "reaching out" 🙄 is a bit OTT too. Just draw a line under it.

If OP really wanted to make DD regret the haircut she could say "Oh yeah, mullets, I remember them, they were big when I was born." 😏

An absolute non issue. She’s 15!! She can choose her own hair! Your in law was behaving totally reasonably - your reaction, though, is bizarre and OTT. And you’re very out of touch if you think she will be bullied for a shit hairstyle like that - very trendy among a certain type of group.

My only input is - Ugh - the mullet ! Yes, it's back. My 23 y/o DS has just got his styled like this, complete with Duran Duran type quiff in front. It weren't good then, it's not good now. But he loves it. DH and I are taking the piss out of him, but then, we are ancient - what would we know XD

OP?

Agree 15 year olds can choose their own hairstyles. She’s hardly going to have picked out a style her peers won’t approve of and I don’t think schools can complain about hair styles. Clothes maybe.

Couldn't agree more! I remember the first one I saw in person, 1980-something. Some bloke at the railway station, suit and tie and curly-on-top mullet. I didn't realise it was meant to be a style, I just thought "Either cut it short or have the guts to have proper long hair!"

These new ones look even worse ...

Sounds like she’s got what is now called a wolf cut. My son had it done at 15, he walked into the barbers by himself after I gave him the money for a cut. We all had a good laugh about it, he loved it and I actually didn’t mind it, I was just surprised as I expected him to walk in with a short back and sided for school, he wasn’t teased about it. During lockdown he also shaved his entire head completely bald in his bedroom. It was fine, I called him kojak for 3 weeks and his hair grew back. Teenagers use hair styles and clothes to experiment and express their individuality. Get over it, seriously. It’s not that deep.

These are adorable!

Personally I never managed to look like a model with any of my experimental cuts, they just looked gauche, looking back at my teen pics. But hey.

But @Notkenough seems to be long gone from her thread.