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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gushy Facebook posts

214 replies

ihaveanopinion · 29/08/2023 19:18

Why do people feel the need to post gushing anniversary posts on social media?! Even more laughable when I know the husband is having an affair! Just feels so forced and gives me the ick! Every year this same couple post individual messages to each other for all their friends and family to see and comment on. Why do people do this?! Are their lives that sad or AIBU?

OP posts:
phoenixrosehere · 30/08/2023 12:14

annalouise1984 · 30/08/2023 11:34

Genuine question: Do you know how to use the Facebook unfollow / unfriend feature? And if so, why don't you use it instead of getting yourself so worked up about other people's posts that you need to post on Mumsnet about it?

Show quote history

Right!

The option has been there for years. I think OP just posted here because they knew they would have some people agree with them and like to think they’re superior or above such people. From OP posts, they seems to get off on it. One of their posts is how much they and others laugh behind this couple’s back yet not only is it none of OP’s business but if OP is actually friends with them, it’s even more sad.

Ilovemydog2 · 30/08/2023 13:20

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/08/2023 11:18

@Cosyblankets

I asked pretty much the same last night. I'm just scrolling to see if there's anything that people deem ok to post.
Not found anything yet....
If no one posted anything there would be nothing to read.

I'll have a go at interpreting this in the MN social media acceptable use code:

OK:
Charity/fundraising posts "I'm fundraising for x charity": good because they make you look virtuous without being political
Landscapes/beach scenes: fine because they make you look consensual.

Not OK:
Any pictures of your hubby or reference to his existence, let alone affection or gratitude: he's having an affair
Pictures of your kids: they are going to be traumatised, targeted by paedophiles and taken into care in later life because you exposed them to social media.
Any selfies, particularly ones involving filters, you're a chav with no taste and probably having an affair.
Anything political, you're a virtue signaller and "woke"
Any holiday pics: you're a narcissist.
Any pictures of social activities: you've got no real friends.

Interesting, btw, that these objections are almost always levelled at the behaviour at women on social media. I've yet to see anyone complain about their DH's endless golf/cycling pics on Facebook.

Fundraising if it involves a Just Giving link or something would probably be a no-no for some too as it’s not “reading the room” and “out of touch” with the cost of living.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 30/08/2023 13:24

no one has said people aren’t allowed to post certain things. Just that they find certain things annoying - they aren’t telling anyone what they can and can’t post? I really don’t get the defensiveness. It’s only fb for goodness sake, no one really cares.

SamW98 · 30/08/2023 13:28

I can’t stand the OTT SM posts where everyone loves each other sooooooooooo much.

I know a couple in their 50’s who are constantly arguing in public, breaking up and getting back together - they’re like a walk g soap opera. But on FB they are so much in love and post almost daily about their prefect relationship . Not sure why they can’t just tell each other while they’re sitting on sofa together but there’s no attention in that is there?

DrSbaitso · 30/08/2023 13:37

TooOldForThisNonsense · 30/08/2023 13:24

no one has said people aren’t allowed to post certain things. Just that they find certain things annoying - they aren’t telling anyone what they can and can’t post? I really don’t get the defensiveness. It’s only fb for goodness sake, no one really cares.

OP cares enough to attempt to start an online pile on about it and then get snitty when criticised for it.

Cosyblankets · 30/08/2023 13:37

annalouise1984 · 30/08/2023 08:05

They clearly use it to sneer at others, to feel better about their own lives, and then they make threads on MN to sneer anonymously. How sad.

Show quote history

Or to ask what time tesco opens

TooOldForThisNonsense · 30/08/2023 17:47

DrSbaitso · 30/08/2023 13:37

OP cares enough to attempt to start an online pile on about it and then get snitty when criticised for it.

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AIBU and mumsnet in general would be very empty without all of these posts!

it’s only social media, people need to lighten up a bit. Some people don’t like other people’s online activity, so what. It’s hardly like they broke into their house and shat on the carpet!

DrSbaitso · 30/08/2023 17:49

AIBU and mumsnet in general would be very empty without all of these posts!

What, threads sneering at the abused, betrayed, grieving and unhappy on Facebook? No, there's plenty of other content to replace that.

nameitagain · 30/08/2023 18:13

ihaveanopinion · 29/08/2023 19:25

@DinnaeFashYersel yessss! Why does the whole world need to know you're grieving that day! it's such a private moment and all people care about are likes and comments.

Christ you are harsh. Maybe some people like to publicly acknowledge a loved one who is no longer here. I'm ok if people want to do that. I'll tell you what's weirder, people getting all up in arms and outraged about things people do that don't affect them in any way

nameitagain · 30/08/2023 18:15

ihaveanopinion · 29/08/2023 19:36

@HelpMeUnpickThis totally understand that and I'm sorry for your loss but to me I'd want to just mark it privately. In your situation I understand it's a little different as you're wishing one twin a happy birthday on social media and therefore want to acknowledge the other, I get that.

Wow it's almost like different people like to mark things in ways that are different to you. Imagine that!!!!

Isittimeformynapyet · 31/08/2023 14:22

It's the people who gush about themselves that make me react negatively. I'll never forget this one:

A clearly filtered selfie with "#benjaminbutton I swear I look younger every year. No makeup, no filter, just me, high on life"

Cue the love hearts and beautiful- inside-and-outs.

Now, I'm a big fan of happiness for all, but I just secretly shook my head in despair as this nauseating circus of egotism and condonation played out for all to see.

PrinceHaz · 31/08/2023 14:43

Isittimeformynapyet · 31/08/2023 14:22

It's the people who gush about themselves that make me react negatively. I'll never forget this one:

A clearly filtered selfie with "#benjaminbutton I swear I look younger every year. No makeup, no filter, just me, high on life"

Cue the love hearts and beautiful- inside-and-outs.

Now, I'm a big fan of happiness for all, but I just secretly shook my head in despair as this nauseating circus of egotism and condonation played out for all to see.

That is bad to be fair.

DinnaeFashYersel · 31/08/2023 15:02

nameitagain · 30/08/2023 18:13

Christ you are harsh. Maybe some people like to publicly acknowledge a loved one who is no longer here. I'm ok if people want to do that. I'll tell you what's weirder, people getting all up in arms and outraged about things people do that don't affect them in any way

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Not up in arms.
Not outraged.
Just commenting on a light-hearted thread. 😂

DrSbaitso · 31/08/2023 15:11

DinnaeFashYersel · 31/08/2023 15:02

Not up in arms.
Not outraged.
Just commenting on a light-hearted thread. 😂

Show quote history

Yes, sneering at the grieving, the abused and the betrayed is so funny, giggle giggle.

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