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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and brunch…

344 replies

Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 18:58

We were at in-laws today for a brunch thing. We stayed in a hotel and live 3 hours away and we were eating at theirs before we drove home.

MIL said she’d do sausage buns so we had a very light breakfast so we didn’t fill up.

Arrived at theirs and there were 8 sausages for 4 adults and 1 child.

She split them 1 sausage each in a hot dog bun for each adult, 2 sausages for her son (my DH). Then DC was given another sausage.

Son was then offered the spare one.

So I was fed less than my 8 year old DS.

So my question is - is this perfectly reasonable or is she crazy?

YABU - this is fine
YANBU - she is crazy.

OP posts:
Energydrink · 28/08/2023 20:58

Annaishere · 28/08/2023 19:04

Brunch is between breakfast and lunch so it wouldn’t be like a meal

Are you thinking of elevenses?

countdowntonap · 28/08/2023 20:59

WellPlaced · 28/08/2023 20:52

Did she know this though, and why did you only eat a dry tea cake? You’re worse than her!

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I think Ops on the wind up!

Lulu1919 · 28/08/2023 20:59

Annaishere · 28/08/2023 19:04

Brunch is between breakfast and lunch so it wouldn’t be like a meal

Brunch for me is breakfast and lunch combined at say 10-30 ish

ChristmasKraken · 28/08/2023 21:00

Annaishere · 28/08/2023 19:27

I actually don’t really do these things except look at menus but they aren’t in nice cafes and restaurants

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Weird though that having never eaten brunch, nor seen what it consists of because you only eat in "nice" places that don't serve it, you still came on this thread to state what brunch was to the OP 😂

WellPlaced · 28/08/2023 21:00

spitefulandbadgrammar · 28/08/2023 20:57

Three times as much more? And it entirely depends on the man, the woman, height, weight, age, lifestyle.

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Yeah, I missed the part about her DH being a jockey and her a weightlifter

Nanaof1 · 28/08/2023 21:01

justme2022 · 28/08/2023 19:28

I vote for @Bellyblueboy and @LightDrizzle to take it in turns hosting Mumsnet brunches.

I might be willing to cross the pond to attend one or two!

But then, I love brunch and I love having breakfast for dinner.

ChristmasKraken · 28/08/2023 21:01

SquirrelFeeder · 28/08/2023 19:33

Am I the only person who has breakfast then doesn't eat again until dinner time? Around 5pm usually. (I'm definitely not slim!)

Probably not the only person, but since "lunch" is a fairly well know meal between breakfast and dinner, it's fairly likely that you're in the minority!

spitefulandbadgrammar · 28/08/2023 21:02

WellPlaced · 28/08/2023 21:00

Yeah, I missed the part about her DH being a jockey and her a weightlifter

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Did you miss the part where she had a single sausage, her child had two sausages, and her husband had three sausages? What calorie calculation has men needing three times as much as women, and children needing twice as much?

Inertia · 28/08/2023 21:05

Brunch replaces both breakfast and lunch so should be at least as much as two meals.

@Nikee20 you didn’t go there specifically for the brunch, did you? As if it were a celebration?

Next time go for the hotel breakfast. And I’d have bloody said something if my husband toom 3 times as much food as me .

Meowandthen · 28/08/2023 21:06

WellPlaced · 28/08/2023 20:50

You do realise that men are supposed to eat more don’t you?

So many women are overweight and unhealthy because they eat the same amount in the name of equal rights

“In the name of equal rights” 😂😂. That really is not what Spare Rib was about.

Your comments are unpleasantly weird.

WellPlaced · 28/08/2023 21:07

spitefulandbadgrammar · 28/08/2023 21:02

Did you miss the part where she had a single sausage, her child had two sausages, and her husband had three sausages? What calorie calculation has men needing three times as much as women, and children needing twice as much?

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Nope
I also didn’t miss the part where neither her DH or his DF thought this was not ok.

It’s obviously only the MILs fault though.
Or is that sexist?

MsBump31 · 28/08/2023 21:08

I have to say I’d usually only eat one sausage and one bun for lunch - my DH would eat more though as he’s a lot taller than me (more than a foot more). And children are growing so to me it makes sense why children would get more - they need food to grow and probably need it more.

I seem to be in the minority though! Lots of people have bigger portion sizes. It may just be that this is your MIL’s ‘normal’ portion size so she didn’t realise it wasn’t enough food for you all and it wasn’t a dig

Original poster
Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 21:10

@Inertia no thankfully, it was just a visit. She offered the food before we drove home. But it was very much ‘you won’t need food’ so we didn’t have breakfast.
Come to think of it we weren’t even offered a drink!

I’m beginning to think they’re just clueless on how to host as they don’t really have people round.

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 28/08/2023 21:11

CherryPieMadness · 28/08/2023 19:55

I just must have a totally different life from a lot of other mums. I can’t imagine that the most tricky problem that I had to talk about was MIL and sausages!

You are just making yourself look a bit stupid with your silly pointless comment.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 28/08/2023 21:11

Invited the in laws for lunch, Six fish fingers chips and peas. 6 fish fingers between four adults, DH and his dad got two f/f each, mil and me 1.5 each, half a dozen chips each and spoonful of tinned peas. Condiments were individual sachets from various cafes they visited.

Bellyblueboy · 28/08/2023 21:12

ChristmasKraken · 28/08/2023 21:00

Weird though that having never eaten brunch, nor seen what it consists of because you only eat in "nice" places that don't serve it, you still came on this thread to state what brunch was to the OP 😂

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I took that to mean the menus @Annaishere was looking at aren’t in nice cafes or restaurants. Brunch is pretty universal - but wouldn’t be offered in greasy spoons I don’t Think?

Thomasina79 · 28/08/2023 21:12

I would make sure there was plenty for everyone, no one goes hungry in my house, she should have bought enough. I think she is stingy, mean and treated you very rudely. Just do the same to her if she comes to yours!

Original poster
Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 21:13

@Daffodilsandtuplips that’s it. You’ve been there too!

OP posts:
Mrshawshouse · 28/08/2023 21:15

This is exactly like my Mum. She would associate sausages with poor health and heart attacks. She would probably have one every couple of years. Serving someone more than 2 sausages would not even occur to her. Last time she visited, when I served her dinner, she asked if i weigh the pasta before cooking it, because she had way too much. She also has an ice cream cone once a year in the summer.
I know this seems miserable to many, but she is really happy and really healthy. She's in her 80's and does pilates and can walk for miles.
I wish I even had a fraction of her self control!

Meowandthen · 28/08/2023 21:15

WellPlaced · 28/08/2023 21:07

Nope
I also didn’t miss the part where neither her DH or his DF thought this was not ok.

It’s obviously only the MILs fault though.
Or is that sexist?

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You are clearly just trying to pick a fight. Hush now.

Threenow · 28/08/2023 21:15

Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 19:09

@AmyDudley it wasn’t a hot dog, just the bun and a sausage.
This was a have a light breakfast (we had 1 dry teacake each) and was basically our lunch as we wouldn’t eat again till 5pm ish.

I sometimes have a sausage wrapped in a piece of bread for lunch. However, surely you could have stopped and got something to eat on the way home? Maybe it's not ideal, but really it's not worth the drama. Everyone is different, calling your MIL crazy is a bit silly.

mumberry84 · 28/08/2023 21:15

Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 19:09

@AmyDudley it wasn’t a hot dog, just the bun and a sausage.
This was a have a light breakfast (we had 1 dry teacake each) and was basically our lunch as we wouldn’t eat again till 5pm ish.

So confused by what a hot dog is now 😂

GraysPapaya · 28/08/2023 21:19

I’d be embarrassed to serve 1 sausage in a bun as a brunch! I’m slim (not that it matters) and have a fairly small appetite, but if people came over for brunch I’d do pastries, fruit and then probably a fry up/avocado on toast/eggs! Especially if people had travelled to see us!

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2023 21:20

CherryPieMadness · 28/08/2023 19:55

I just must have a totally different life from a lot of other mums. I can’t imagine that the most tricky problem that I had to talk about was MIL and sausages!

Have you been on here long?

WaitingfortheTardis · 28/08/2023 21:22

I would've eaten one of dh's sausages, his mum so his bad luck!
@Nikee20 What is a hot dog if not a bun and sausage? What else is required?