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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and brunch…

344 replies

Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 18:58

We were at in-laws today for a brunch thing. We stayed in a hotel and live 3 hours away and we were eating at theirs before we drove home.

MIL said she’d do sausage buns so we had a very light breakfast so we didn’t fill up.

Arrived at theirs and there were 8 sausages for 4 adults and 1 child.

She split them 1 sausage each in a hot dog bun for each adult, 2 sausages for her son (my DH). Then DC was given another sausage.

Son was then offered the spare one.

So I was fed less than my 8 year old DS.

So my question is - is this perfectly reasonable or is she crazy?

YABU - this is fine
YANBU - she is crazy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 21:22

@Mrshawshouse I wish I had her self control too!

Of course we managed to eat something else, that’s not what the post was about.

OP posts:
Meatus · 28/08/2023 21:23

She split them 1 sausage each in a hot dog bun for each adult, 2 sausages for her son (my DH). Then DC was given another sausage.

Son was then offered the spare one.

That’s 7.

I need to know what happened to the 8th sausage.

Nanaof1 · 28/08/2023 21:24

drinkuptheezider · 28/08/2023 19:48

I'm waiting for the 'that would fill me up for the week day' crowd to arrive.

😁

Well, I did have a sausage roll and 3 grapes this past Christmas. I'm sure I'll be hungry again at some point. /jk 😇😉

Original poster
Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 21:25

@Meatus DH refused it as he didn’t think it was fair based on what I was offered/could see how unimpressed my face looked!

So I assume they ate it later?

OP posts:
CheshireCat1 · 28/08/2023 21:26

What made you think it was a brunch thing? Your mil said she was doing sausage buns, she did sausage buns, I don’t see an issue.

LlynTegid · 28/08/2023 21:26

Agree not a substantial meal.

Hate the term brunch, we are not the 51st state.

Cowlover89 · 28/08/2023 21:26

Thats not brunch. That's a snack

SnowWhiteAndTheTwoKids · 28/08/2023 21:27

00100001 · 28/08/2023 20:05

Why aren't the men in your life pointing out the unfairness/sharing their meals?

If my DH was given 3 sausages and me 1, he would comment saying something like " whoops, mum gave me 3 by mistake, here Binary have this extra sausage"

Show quote history

MIL dishes up in the kitchen. If we try help she says 'that's masses' so now we just leave her to it! We readjust portions when the plates are brought to the dining room by adding our own food or moving food from DH plate to mine or DC's.

Viviennemary · 28/08/2023 21:28

That is a poor show. Hot dog buns are horrible. It was cheeky. That wasn't brunch.

WellPlaced · 28/08/2023 21:30

They were sausage buns
MIL said she was doing sausage buns

rainbowunicorn · 28/08/2023 21:31

LlynTegid · 28/08/2023 21:26

Agree not a substantial meal.

Hate the term brunch, we are not the 51st state.

Brunch as a term was used in British English before it was in American English. It was a British writer that first coined the term. But don't let actual facts get in the way of a chance to show your distaste for America.🙄

JaukiVexnoydi · 28/08/2023 21:32

Yanbu to want more food than that but as you have an 8 year old child I assume that you have met/been fed by your MIL before so should have been able to predict and plan for this, including working in an alternative plan for post-brunch lunch even if only M&S sandwiches from a service station.

My own mum massively underfeeds us, including considering 2 small new potatoes to be a reasonable level of carbs in a main meal, and we just take plenty of extra food with us as standard.

Krawnprackers · 28/08/2023 21:34

Not RTFT but penis portions 🤣🤣

Original poster
Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 21:36

Krawnprackers · 28/08/2023 21:34

Not RTFT but penis portions 🤣🤣

Really made me chuckle too. I’d not heard it before!

OP posts:
Bigbadmama · 28/08/2023 21:41

You have my sympathy. My MiL tried to feed 10 of us on three 8 inch frozen Pizzas. The kids would have eaten one each. I organised Hot Dogs and potato salad to fill us all up.

Matronic6 · 28/08/2023 21:41

YANBU! Promising someone a hearty meal and assuring them to go light only to serve a single sausage in a bun is embarrassing. Once had a meal at DP's mum's and had barely ate all day, was actively stopped from eating, as there was going to be a huge meal. There was, except 90% of it contained a food I have an intolerance to, which they knew about, as they had made a special dish for me. Expect the dish for me was also shared between all people so I essentially had a small starter, two pieces of bread and a small amount of cheese. I had barely ate all day and was 7 months pregnant. Lay in bed eating cookies I'd bought as a gift. I feel your pain.

genesis92 · 28/08/2023 21:43

Oioicaptain · 28/08/2023 20:43

Yes, but your husband, her son needs extra food "cos ees been owt t' work and tis thee man of the 'ouse!" And everyone knows that men should eat twice as much, as us mere wimin. Especially when it's meat. As for your son, he's a growing lad! Whereas you should eat much less to preserve your figure, for the benefit of the man of the 'ouse. It's very straight forward. Those are the rules.

😂

WellPlaced · 28/08/2023 21:44

Matronic6 · 28/08/2023 21:41

YANBU! Promising someone a hearty meal and assuring them to go light only to serve a single sausage in a bun is embarrassing. Once had a meal at DP's mum's and had barely ate all day, was actively stopped from eating, as there was going to be a huge meal. There was, except 90% of it contained a food I have an intolerance to, which they knew about, as they had made a special dish for me. Expect the dish for me was also shared between all people so I essentially had a small starter, two pieces of bread and a small amount of cheese. I had barely ate all day and was 7 months pregnant. Lay in bed eating cookies I'd bought as a gift. I feel your pain.

She didn’t promise a hearty meal
She said she’d do sausage buns

Yoyoban · 28/08/2023 21:48

What is your objection - the amount she fed you? Or that she fed you less than your 8 yr old son?

How active are you? How tall are you? If you're an average woman and your son an average 8 year old boy, the likelihood is your son needs more calories per day than you, so based on the information you've provided, you're being unreasonable to complain that he was fed more than you.

On the other hand, I agree a single sausage in a bun does not constitute a brunch, so you're not being unreasonable.

I doubt understand why your DH didn't, when offered the extra sausage suggest you have it though. That's weird to me.

Poppyseed14 · 28/08/2023 21:48

Good grief OP! Even a cat locked in a house was offered more food than you! MIL needs to up her game!

roarrfeckingroar · 28/08/2023 21:56

Penis portions.

I had this at FIL's house recently. It's abroad; we stayed 10 days. By day 3 I was making the point that I'm breastfeeding a six month old beast baby and went for a long walk or run each day. Arguably I needed the most calories of anyone there.

roarrfeckingroar · 28/08/2023 21:57

Annaishere · 28/08/2023 19:04

Brunch is between breakfast and lunch so it wouldn’t be like a meal

What planet do you live on where brunch isn't a meal?

FictionalCharacter · 28/08/2023 21:57

Timeforabiscuit · 28/08/2023 19:03

That is not brunch, it sounds like she's doling out penis portions though!

I'd be very tempted to ask her to dinner and provide a teaspoon of peas and a fish finger for that abomination.

Yep, it's the idea that a manly man needs double the meat portion (without asking) that would piss me off, more than the stinginess and lack of effort.

ZadocPDederick · 28/08/2023 21:58

So did your husband have three sausages to your one? Did he not consider giving you one?

HelpaFriend85 · 28/08/2023 22:00

My MIL pulls this shit… yes I’m a bit overweight, one year she invited us round all for pancake day. It was after kids tea etc but before let’s say adults ate (I’d feed kids about 5pm when they were little and then DH and I would eat about 7 when he got back from work) that year I went to in-laws after kids tea but not mine. Anyway she made everyone a pancake. sIL, SILs kids, FIL and her and my kids, then asks me right at the end if I’d like one once everyone else had one and I watched them eat it!
she pulls this shit a lot and I don’t know why. She gives me smaller portions, ignores me.