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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and brunch…

344 replies

Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 18:58

We were at in-laws today for a brunch thing. We stayed in a hotel and live 3 hours away and we were eating at theirs before we drove home.

MIL said she’d do sausage buns so we had a very light breakfast so we didn’t fill up.

Arrived at theirs and there were 8 sausages for 4 adults and 1 child.

She split them 1 sausage each in a hot dog bun for each adult, 2 sausages for her son (my DH). Then DC was given another sausage.

Son was then offered the spare one.

So I was fed less than my 8 year old DS.

So my question is - is this perfectly reasonable or is she crazy?

YABU - this is fine
YANBU - she is crazy.

OP posts:
CheshireCat1 · 30/08/2023 14:45

The MIL said she was doing sausages on buns, she did sausages on buns. Mountain out of molehill comes to mind.

CherryMaDeara · 30/08/2023 14:57

CheshireCat1 · 30/08/2023 14:45

The MIL said she was doing sausages on buns, she did sausages on buns. Mountain out of molehill comes to mind.

I bet you’re the Cheshire Cat who got all the cream and didn’t give any to anyone else.

One small sausage in a hot dog bun is not brunch.

T1Dmama · 30/08/2023 16:54

Annaishere · 28/08/2023 19:27

I actually don’t really do these things except look at menus but they aren’t in nice cafes and restaurants

Show quote history

I think ‘brunch’ must be a regional thing… I wasn’t even aware Brits did it! Thought it was an American thing.

MalcolmsMiddle · 30/08/2023 17:41

cameldigits · 30/08/2023 07:44

You sound obsessed with food

you ate at 7am then again at 11am and were home by 5pm

you spent the day sitting down

hope you all survived

Er, the thread is about food. Of course it's going to be the main thing discussed in it. I don't think querying the substance of a brunch borders on obsessive.

AvocadotoastORahouse · 30/08/2023 20:59

WellPlaced · 29/08/2023 16:00

OP is the only one who mentioned brunch and now everyone is running (away) with it.

MiL said sausage buns and that’s what they got.
Tbh I can see she would be pissed off.

”DiL turned down an already paid for full hotel breakfast and then expected me to run around supplying it myself”

Don't know quite why you're so determined to blame the OP, but she has already said the MIL knew they weren't having breakfast. And OP has said they would have to have paid extra for a hotel breakfast if they wanted it, but they didn't choose this option as MIL had offered to feed them.

So at least check your facts before you go on and on.

Angrywife · 30/08/2023 23:40

If she hadn't told you what she was going to make, I'd say you were fair in being disappointed.

However she told you she was doing sausage buns and that's exactly what you got. Were you expecting you'd all have a plate full?

Mumof2teens79 · 30/08/2023 23:45

Annaishere · 28/08/2023 19:04

Brunch is between breakfast and lunch so it wouldn’t be like a meal

The timing is between but it replaces both, its not in addition to those meals, it's instead so it's usually quite substantial

ShrinkingSusan · 31/08/2023 00:49

Angrywife · 30/08/2023 23:40

If she hadn't told you what she was going to make, I'd say you were fair in being disappointed.

However she told you she was doing sausage buns and that's exactly what you got. Were you expecting you'd all have a plate full?

One sad sausage in a finger bun is hardly hospitable, is it.

xmaswiththeinlaws · 31/08/2023 11:24

She is probably one of those people who thinks that is a perfectly normal amount of food and that men need feeding more as they are bigger and growing children need more food as they are moving about and burning it off quicker.
You know for next time, if she invited you again, have breakfast first and plan for a trip to the chippy/mcDs for lunch on the way back.
We have the opposite problem with DHs family. They all want to give us a full meal every time you visit and are quite competitive about it. Last month we were visiting and by 1.30pm we were on our 4th meal, having had SIL and MIL both expecting us to eat at theirs before a trip to visit other relatives. Aunty insisted on lunch around 11 then wanted us to stay for lunch at 1.30
We had several more sets of relatives to visit that day and my poor kids were panicking about how much more they'd have to eat.

cleanasawhistle · 31/08/2023 11:48

Reminds me of the time we were visiting a friend who we hadn't seen for a few years.
We were driving 3 hours to get there.
Had a conversation about us eating on the way down or they joined us out for a meal nearer their home.
She said no to both and insisted she would cook.
So we arrive and there is one pizza between 7 of us.

Bellaboo01 · 31/08/2023 11:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Bellaboo01 · 31/08/2023 11:59

Nikee20 · 28/08/2023 18:58

We were at in-laws today for a brunch thing. We stayed in a hotel and live 3 hours away and we were eating at theirs before we drove home.

MIL said she’d do sausage buns so we had a very light breakfast so we didn’t fill up.

Arrived at theirs and there were 8 sausages for 4 adults and 1 child.

She split them 1 sausage each in a hot dog bun for each adult, 2 sausages for her son (my DH). Then DC was given another sausage.

Son was then offered the spare one.

So I was fed less than my 8 year old DS.

So my question is - is this perfectly reasonable or is she crazy?

YABU - this is fine
YANBU - she is crazy.

How many sausages did you want?

thecatsthecats · 31/08/2023 12:15

cleanasawhistle · 31/08/2023 11:48

Reminds me of the time we were visiting a friend who we hadn't seen for a few years.
We were driving 3 hours to get there.
Had a conversation about us eating on the way down or they joined us out for a meal nearer their home.
She said no to both and insisted she would cook.
So we arrive and there is one pizza between 7 of us.

I'm still not over the fact that my BIL invited us over for lunch on his birthday (12:30-3pm), knowing that I was pregnant.

They didn't serve more than a damn biscuit.

Faint with hunger, we then nipped round to my husband's grandparents. I had a pack of crisps in the car, and sat eating it on the drive for a literal minute. Until his gran came out and tapped on the window to usher us in.

We were there to let them know I was pregnant, and bless her, his gran immediately put her hands to her face and said "but I stopped you eating your crisps!".

2Rebecca · 31/08/2023 12:46

I'd have asked BIL where lunch was and if he wasn't cooking should you go out for lunch. That sounds very odd.
I hate it when people don't wait for you to ring the doorbell but come and hassle you the moment they see your car.

NewLifeHappyLife · 31/08/2023 13:03

thecatsthecats · 31/08/2023 12:15

I'm still not over the fact that my BIL invited us over for lunch on his birthday (12:30-3pm), knowing that I was pregnant.

They didn't serve more than a damn biscuit.

Faint with hunger, we then nipped round to my husband's grandparents. I had a pack of crisps in the car, and sat eating it on the drive for a literal minute. Until his gran came out and tapped on the window to usher us in.

We were there to let them know I was pregnant, and bless her, his gran immediately put her hands to her face and said "but I stopped you eating your crisps!".

Show quote history

Oh i love what his gran said! ❤

ImNotWorthy · 31/08/2023 13:34

xmaswiththeinlaws · 31/08/2023 11:24

She is probably one of those people who thinks that is a perfectly normal amount of food and that men need feeding more as they are bigger and growing children need more food as they are moving about and burning it off quicker.
You know for next time, if she invited you again, have breakfast first and plan for a trip to the chippy/mcDs for lunch on the way back.
We have the opposite problem with DHs family. They all want to give us a full meal every time you visit and are quite competitive about it. Last month we were visiting and by 1.30pm we were on our 4th meal, having had SIL and MIL both expecting us to eat at theirs before a trip to visit other relatives. Aunty insisted on lunch around 11 then wanted us to stay for lunch at 1.30
We had several more sets of relatives to visit that day and my poor kids were panicking about how much more they'd have to eat.

You are the Vicar of Dibley and I claim my £5.

thecatsthecats · 31/08/2023 13:37

@2Rebecca - I happened to be shredded with exhaustion after getting a pitiful amount of sleep that night. Really the right thing to do was not go at all I was that tired, but I was too tired to even think straight.

@NewLifeHappyLife His gran is an absolute gem, and so considerate, window knocking on drive excepted.

Original poster
Nikee20 · 31/08/2023 14:14

Thanks to all the people that shared their stories, I enjoyed reading them.

Defo lesson learnt!

I think it was especially odd as I come from an Irish family where you get fed at every relatives house even if they’re not expecting you!

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 31/08/2023 15:35

It must be an older person thing: this is not an unusual topic on here! My mother-85-ended up in hospital because she wasn’t eating, barely drinking and delights in telling me she eats half a slice of bread for breakfast.

She’s just moved into a house formerly occupied by someone equally old and there was no cooker. She bought a cooker, hasn’t yet used the oven and is slightly panicking about a relative coming to stay because she no longer cooks and survives on microwave ready meals. Her sister in her 70s sends round Sunday lunch, which lasts 3 days. Oddly, tho, she will eat nuts and chocolate, so I send her ‘food parcels’ including these.

I look in her fridge and there’s nothing bar a solitary pint of milk. I take her shopping and she buys wine and fags. Any suggestion of actual food is rejected.

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