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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP didn't come home last night

208 replies

sundaysareafunday · 27/08/2023 09:35

DP went out last night, absolutely fine, he would normally be back midnightish but know this can be sometimes like 3 when him and his friends have a good time and end up at a club. I don't sleep great when he is out as I'm sort of waiting for him to come in and aware he hasn't. Called a couple of times at around 3.30 and he called back shortly after, said he was fine they'd all gone back to a friends house and he'd be home shortly. He messaged at 5.30 to say sorry he'd fell asleep, back shortly. It's now 9.30 and still not back. I assume he's fine and managed to get a lot more sleep than me, I feel like I haven't slept at all. I don't think there's any funny business happened and he is just on a friends sofa. We have lunch out today booked with some of his family though, AIBU to now not go, I feel and look horrendous and slightly peeved at his selfishness as I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant and he knows how I worry if he stays out all night, luckily it's only ever happened once before.

OP posts:
April506 · 29/08/2023 17:02

That’s great .. but this guy sounds shady

DBD1975 · 03/11/2024 01:57

Seriously, didn't come home all night after being out drinking with friends. If my partner did this it would be a deal breaker because there is no way I would find this acceptable purely because there is no way I would believe he spent the night on a friend's sofa. I am sorry OP, but trust me, there is only one reason why men don't come home all night.

BMW6 · 03/11/2024 05:38

Why did you dig up this zombie?

VisionsOfSplendour · 03/11/2024 06:51

DBD1975 · 03/11/2024 01:57

Seriously, didn't come home all night after being out drinking with friends. If my partner did this it would be a deal breaker because there is no way I would find this acceptable purely because there is no way I would believe he spent the night on a friend's sofa. I am sorry OP, but trust me, there is only one reason why men don't come home all night.

Has the warning about threads being ancient been taken away now?

Even as a general observation it's not even true that there's only one reason men don't come home at night, sorry you've only met crappy men

DBD1975 · 03/11/2024 10:39

VisionsOfSplendour · 03/11/2024 06:51

Has the warning about threads being ancient been taken away now?

Even as a general observation it's not even true that there's only one reason men don't come home at night, sorry you've only met crappy men

I haven't only met crappy men in terms of my DH he is adorable and the love of my life. However when I was single (many years ago) I lived a very hedonistic lifestyle and was (I am now ashamed to say) often the reason why a man who had a partner didn't go home all night. It is very naive to think a man who is in a relationship stays out all night due to falling asleep on a friend's sofa. I cannot believe there are woman out there who would believe this to be true.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 03/11/2024 11:10

I'd hope he's home by now, this was 2023

GCAcademic · 03/11/2024 11:19

DBD1975 · 03/11/2024 10:39

I haven't only met crappy men in terms of my DH he is adorable and the love of my life. However when I was single (many years ago) I lived a very hedonistic lifestyle and was (I am now ashamed to say) often the reason why a man who had a partner didn't go home all night. It is very naive to think a man who is in a relationship stays out all night due to falling asleep on a friend's sofa. I cannot believe there are woman out there who would believe this to be true.

Did you really need to resurrect a thread from 2023 to tell us all this? I don't understand how people even find these threads to dispense "advice" that is clearly no longer needed. How did you surface this one? And then you chose to ignore the warning that it was an old thread?

DBD1975 · 03/11/2024 11:55

GCAcademic · 03/11/2024 11:19

Did you really need to resurrect a thread from 2023 to tell us all this? I don't understand how people even find these threads to dispense "advice" that is clearly no longer needed. How did you surface this one? And then you chose to ignore the warning that it was an old thread?

Thanks for the advice, very much appreciated. I wish I had time to read the whole thread but alas I don't and apologies this seems to upset you so much! However I see a lot of people have posted on here so hopefully my advice might be heeded by some posters!

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