DP didn't come home last night

[sundaysareafunday]

DP went out last night, absolutely fine, he would normally be back midnightish but know this can be sometimes like 3 when him and his friends have a good time and end up at a club. I don't sleep great when he is out as I'm sort of waiting for him to come in and aware he hasn't. Called a couple of times at around 3.30 and he called back shortly after, said he was fine they'd all gone back to a friends house and he'd be home shortly. He messaged at 5.30 to say sorry he'd fell asleep, back shortly. It's now 9.30 and still not back. I assume he's fine and managed to get a lot more sleep than me, I feel like I haven't slept at all. I don't think there's any funny business happened and he is just on a friends sofa. We have lunch out today booked with some of his family though, AIBU to now not go, I feel and look horrendous and slightly peeved at his selfishness as I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant and he knows how I worry if he stays out all night, luckily it's only ever happened once before.

look at all the flying monkeys here with yabu. defending the guy who can't even send a text. do you think he'd be cool with her jamming off? NOPE. UGH. bunch of 1950s housefraus.

If he still wants to go out clubbing and stay out all night then he's too immature to be having a baby.

If you don't feel like going for dinner because you are tired or you don't want to see his family or you don't want to see him, then don't go. And if you can't be arsed texting him to tell him you're not going, so be it.

He obviously doesn't believe in social obligations, so that frees you from yours.

She knew where he was, that he has probably fallen asleep again. How do you send a text when asleep? It is not a regular occurrence. He is an adult and allowed to go out and go with the flow and be spontaneous and change his plans and even fall asleep again without asking for permission.

I can see when there are children involved it would not be fair to leave the OP to deal with them alone, but that isn't the case so they should both enjoy their freedom while they still have it. My dc is an adult now and I love having my freedom back and have changed my plans during the evening/early morning and stayed over at a friends. dh knew I was at friends house and it was likely I had just stayed over, he coped with no drama!

Don't be ridiculous!

Personally, I wouldn't be with anyone who objected to me having my own life with all nighters if desired.

Fuck that bullshit.

@foolishone

Male or female, makes no difference to me. I couldn't be friends with anyone that thinks wasting money getting pissed and staying out till all hours is a great way to live.
It's such a sad waste of a life. 🤷🏻‍♀️

He should have just told you he wasn't coming home, I go for all-nighters even though I'm a mother sometimes, I just make sure they know not to wait up for me etc. So yes he's at fault for not letting you.

How often does he do this? A few times a year is different to once a month etc.

A sad loss I'm sure. I'm very lucky my friends aren't so judgmental. Try it some time, you might feel more comfortable without that stick up your arse.

Ridiculous, it's possible to do both, in moderation.

D’you reckon? Plenty of previous posts on here disprove this.

When did he arrive back then?

It's a strange thing on MN, that the posters trying so hard to sound uncontrolling and cool end up coming across as really bloody bossy and, well, controlling.

😂

But he didn't. She could have gone to sleep like an adult, there was no need to worry he's a grown man.

First thing I thought of too

It is not a regular occurrence.

Apparently it is, @NoTouch - see post above from @Floweryx123:

You POST this every couple of weeks and it's always "DH didn't come home last night'. It would help you get better help from here if you can preface your threads with 'again' or "I have posted about this before.'

Blimey, wasn't expecting to have this many responses.

@Floweryx123 I think you have me mistaken for someone else, I've never posted regarding this before and like I said it's NOT a regular occurrence otherwise I wouldn't moan about it if I put up with it often.

To put things straight - I am absolutely not giving him a curfew, I'm not banning him from going out all night and staying at a mates I was just hoping he'd have had a little more respect to let me know with a quick message. Anywho, he rolled in around 10.30 this morning, extremely apologetic once I explained how I felt and it's forgotten about. He, annoyingly had more sleep than me and woke with no hangover, but we had a lovely roast out and I'm heading home to have a long bath and start binging a new series, to change this longggg thread if anyone has any good suggestions hit me up!

You win the thread.

Attack of the Cool Wives up in here.

I hope OP ditches the loser. Imagine the lovely peaceful night not waiting for someone's crusty son to come stumbling through the door.

I’m not sure- when I posted that I had the impression from the OP that this was a one-off and I guess what I meant by “doing this” was “embarking on open-ended nights out”.

But since then other posters have implied that this is a recurring issue with this particular man, which is a bigger problem yes.

He came in at 10.30 well-rested and apologetic, without a hangover and proceeded to enjoy a lovely lunch out with you and the wider family with no further issue? He needs to stop that sort of shit.
Heh.

No one with any sort of normal life would sleep soundly when their partner was still out at 4 or 5:30, especially if they said they were just on their way and just... didn't show up. To not worry about someone in those circumstances -- that's actually really dysfunctional. Anyone normal would be concerned.

Some of you are really telling on yourselves.

It’s all very well to say op is BU if she happens to have an easy pregnancy but being kept up all night if she has a risky pregnancy or has been very unwell would put any normal person off of wanting to go out for a social event the next day.

@Floweryx123 I'm not sure who you are talking about as it certainly isn't me. DP is welcome to go out every evening and all weekend if he so wished and does go out regularly but not until the early hours. My comment of being pregnant was more just the fact he knows how tired I can get, I'm not looking for sympathy or even see myself as "heavily pregnant" I've been very lucky to not have anything to moan about during this pregnancy except the tiredness at times.

But everyone is entitled to their opinion of whether I'm BU or not, just some of the attacking comments are not entirely necessary.