I am SO f**ing sick of the playstation, their phones, the Ipad...I want to smash them to bits.

[Findmeahammer]

Two DC, 12.5 and 14. Boys.

I'm sick of the endless need for gaming
I'm sick of the conversation always reverting back to gaming
I'm sick of being told they need more time, even after they've filled their boots
I'm sick of them coming off the gaming, to then shuffle towards their phones
I'm sick of asking them to come off and them asking for more - more screen, more Tik Tok, more stupid fucking
I'm sick of having to enforce a time or else it could quite possible be 24/7
I'm sick of being on holiday, in a great and exciting place, and them still thinking about being plugged in
I'm sick of constantly thinking of things for them do to ensure they have balance - daily, great activities with friends etc
I'm sick of getting up really early and late in the holidays, and have to squeeze work in at the beginning and end of day, to be available to ensure they have this balance
I'm sick of worrying about what their minds are becoming and what they're going to lose out on
I'm just sick of the whole fucking thing. Honestly. DS2 in particular, is so bright and curious and articulate. And yet he doesn't even want to read anymore.

And honestly, I'm not a dramatic person. I get screens are part of their life. But I'm so, so tired of it. I genuinely am. What kind of a life is this?

I hear you OP. I’m a sole parent and if I don’t force them to do other things, no-one else will, so it’s a constant battle and I get so sick of it. I wish they had a father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc who’d do other things with them but they don’t. Their friends rarely want to do anything else either. It’s exhausting and I have no answers.

Dickhead comment of the day winner!! 🍾

What's the actual issue?

I spent the vast majority of my spare time as a tween/teen on my computer. And have evolved into a hard working adult with a good job etc. One of the things that aided that most was having a part time job/volunteering role that I did once or twice a week. But I had literally no screen time limits at all.

You sound like you're fighting a battle for the sake of fighting it. Put all the auto time limits (screen time, WiFi etc) on and leave them to it. Phones downstairs to charge past a certain time etc.

And it's not your job to be constantly thinking of things for them do to ensure they have balance. Especially when you're meant to be working and when you're describing them as teens/tweens.

I've seen the young uns' at work... Honestly, there's nothing quite as empty and devoid of all spark than the young men around 20 years of age. It's like talking to an empty space - nothing comes back, nothing to contribute. All yes-no answers or silence.
When I was their age, you had to be a bit "special" to be this way. Now it seems to be the norm."

All of this. It's awful and so depressing.

You are fighting a losing battle. I think honestly it depends on the game. My both my DS play games. A lot. Some of them are games I find so complex I can't barely understand them. One of them involved my DS learning physics so he could calculate landing trajectories for space vessels.
Rather than fighting the gaming and online time, just set restrictions with them and then it's no exceptions. So let them help make them rules and then program them in the WiFi or whatever and then that's that. No exceptions. Insist they do at least one thing outdoors every day, even if it's just run an errand. Whatever the rules are, engage them in the rules and then enforced them together !

So much this.

I run workplace training courses. When I do the opening round of 'introduce yourself, your name, job role and anything you'd like to get from today' the young 'ums REACH FOR THEIR FUCKING PHONES.

It's painful and desperately sad.

I would imagine the OP has limits and is sick of the obsessive moaning and nagging and whinging about said limits as I am.

What's the problem? Well that above and that some kids are far more obsessive on them than others. I'm far from a Luddite and times move on, but the difference in mine when they are on and off them for a spell of time is marked.

Thanks OP.

It’s the lack of self-regulation that’s worrying, isn’t it, although some pp seem to be wilfully blind to this point.

Why the hell is a book better than a screen? They are both information delivery systems, if I was wanting to bake a cake a video would be a much more useful medium. I love books, they have their uses though.

Always the baby boomers that are the first to cry over the state of the technological world. It almost reeks of victim mentality.

My dc seem to use technology differently to every other dc. Today I messaged them (they’re staying with grandparents). They didn’t reply because they left their phones at home while out with grandparents (their choice, didn’t want to carry them). They okay ps4 but together. Only game we have issues with is cooking mama because it’s a stressful game and dd2 and dd3 blame each other for “starting fires”. Sometimes they play Mario online with cousins in America - it’s lovely they can have a relationship from so far.

we have always had the rule - tech is downstairs only and goes on the docking station to charge every night. Occasionally one dc will ask to take her phone upstairs to listen to music or to speak privately with a friend, but it’s only allowed with permission and they’ve just accepted that because it’s always been the rule from young.

dd1 does now have her phone upstairs but it comes down at bedtime (she doesn’t have a set bedtime but it comes down when she says goodnight). She’s about to start year 11. Younger 2 are about to start year 8.

Only allowing it downstairs does seem to break the addition and I’m so glad a parent of older dc shared their rules with me so I could learn from them. We also have no phones from 6pm to 7pm as that’s dinner/family time.

Also it’s not my job to think of things for my teenage sons to do. Totally their responsibility. Jesus Christ do you wipe their arse for them as well?

I could only get worked up if they were so obsessed their studies took a back seat or they were socially inept, and my sons are neither. despite their many of hours of gaming.

Er, I'm not remotely old enough to be a baby boomer

I could have written this OP. I'm so frustrated by it all and feel utterly powerless to change it. Is it worse with boys?

I'm trying to take heart from the fact that I feel like this every summer holiday, usually at around this point. It's been a long summer already and there are still nearly 2 weeks left until schools are back. Light at the end of the tunnel though.

It's fine to be self-righteous, but do you need to be so rude?

Is it any wonder they prefer to be on screens?
Young males especially are viewed as a nuisance when they do go out and about. There is a horrible attitude towards young males in general and MN only highlights this fact. No bloody wonder they prefer gaming, yet still judged negatively.

I don't think that's the reason at all.

You are generalising, they don't engage with you because you are not on their wavelength. My kids are honestly very empathetic, engaged and want the world to be better. I don't agree with them (queer theory bluerghh) but they are very enthusiastic to vote. They are so much less jaded than gen x.

It’s real. The worry, the sadness, the addiction, it being impossible to resist, the uphill struggle trying to get them off when the tech companies hold all the cards. It’s all real and what you feel is real.

I can only offer solidarity. I’ve gone nuclear, taken it all away. I can’t take the risk. Probably not the right answer, but this is a battle I’m not equipped to fight.

Exactly. My DS has ADHD. It’s a lot harder for him - impossible, actually- to regulate his own screen time due to his brain chemistry. Not everyone is the same. And I don’t have the time or the energy to keep him off the computer the whole time. I need to work.

How old are your kids and how have you gone nuclear? What has their response been?

That is so sad

I'm curious how a child with ADHD reacts with the screen - can you simply not tear them away? I wonder about one of the DC...

Yes. I promote the excursions to parks, town etc