I am SO f**ing sick of the playstation, their phones, the Ipad...I want to smash them to bits.

[Findmeahammer]

Two DC, 12.5 and 14. Boys.

I'm sick of the endless need for gaming
I'm sick of the conversation always reverting back to gaming
I'm sick of being told they need more time, even after they've filled their boots
I'm sick of them coming off the gaming, to then shuffle towards their phones
I'm sick of asking them to come off and them asking for more - more screen, more Tik Tok, more stupid fucking
I'm sick of having to enforce a time or else it could quite possible be 24/7
I'm sick of being on holiday, in a great and exciting place, and them still thinking about being plugged in
I'm sick of constantly thinking of things for them do to ensure they have balance - daily, great activities with friends etc
I'm sick of getting up really early and late in the holidays, and have to squeeze work in at the beginning and end of day, to be available to ensure they have this balance
I'm sick of worrying about what their minds are becoming and what they're going to lose out on
I'm just sick of the whole fucking thing. Honestly. DS2 in particular, is so bright and curious and articulate. And yet he doesn't even want to read anymore.

And honestly, I'm not a dramatic person. I get screens are part of their life. But I'm so, so tired of it. I genuinely am. What kind of a life is this?

They see lots of other life. During term time, they do a lot of sports and after school club. In the holidays, one in particular likes a particular sport. But it's just the addiction to the games, the need for it, the thinking about it - fortnite, minecraft, Fifa, 3 min videos, scroll scroll scroll - whatever - that seems to drive the narrative.

I think zoomers have a different attitude to gaming, being into it is no longer seen as "sad" or "nerdy". Loads of older women have an allergic reaction to anyone spending more than an hour gaming for some reason, meh, some of the funnest times for me were playing wow, was great while it lasted.

Then again my kids are not obsessed, it's just something they do, like I said we're pretty poor and I don't drive, so bracing walks in beautiful landscapes are slightly out of reach. They are happy with a mooch to local areas and maybe have some fish and chips or an ice cream. The only one interested in films/TV is my youngest, we will watch something together, the other two, nope not interested.

My 21yr old son admits now, that he was online far more than I knew, when he should have been studying for his GCSEs. He's studying for a Physics degree now, but it slowed his progress.. Do what you can to limit them, I wish I had.

Hmm I understand where you’re coming from, my 2 aren’t too bad at self regulating screen use but it still gets on my wick. I just tell myself it’s different times than when we were young. Plus also they basically weren’t allowed to do anything “real” due to the shambles that was the management of Covid in this country and everything was fucking online then so there’s been mixed messaging.

I swear my sister’s 15 yo step daughter is developing a dowager hump due to her phone usage

If they are really addicted to a certain game and get angry and stressed about it it's more about them and their competitive personality I think. Some people are like that, I remember a certain shit bag in wow who actually missed a close family members funeral because he was busy raiding. I through the grapevine, he eventually left his wife and small baby for some person he met in game. It wasn't the games fault, he was always a selfish twat.

DS also done a lot of online chatting to friends etc during games which I think is good. After all, in our time, a few decades, ago, we'd think nothing of spending an hour or two on the phone talking to friends or a boyfriend etc. Playing an online game together with friends is just the same really. My son doesn't talk about the game much, but just general chit chat and small talk with his friends. He's never been interested with online strangers - always just using online games to chat to friends.

Completely understand how you feel op. I have two ds and find few things I suggest can compare to them staying at home with a screen.

Why are board games seen as some kind of elevated activity? I hate them all with a passion, would rather go to the dentist, at least they will numb the pain.

I could have written your post. It’s bloody awful. We had good limits in place when they were younger but now that they’re teens it’s all just so much harder.

I still have limits but it’s like you describe, the relentless talk and thinking about screens when they’re off the bloody things is as bad.

And the holidays - yes - I just wanted us all to agree to some reasonable screen time limit for the duration of our trip away so I wouldn’t have to field requests and make bloody decisions about it all the time. But no, it’s not that simple.

I consciously avoided gamers when I was dating yet I’m raising two. And when they’re not on screens they still need them

• can I look for a tutorial to build this Lego thing?
• Can I watch a you tube tutorial while I bake this cake
• i need to look this up
• can I show you that?
• can I check if friend has replied

A lot if socialising is fine via devices now so it’s not as simple as just putting them away.

Why would them looking up tutorials bother you? Surely it's good, they are wanting to learn something. Blimey I just dont understand people.

YABU. Just leave them to it. It’s 6 weeks, it’s not the end of the world. My 13 year old has gamed the whole holiday bar our one week trip to Spain and the odd outing with friends. He is superb at school and works very hard during term time. It’s fine.

I've seen the young uns' at work... Honestly, there's nothing quite as empty and devoid of all spark than the young men around 20 years of age. It's like talking to an empty space - nothing comes back, nothing to contribute. All yes-no answers or silence.
When I was their age, you had to be a bit "special" to be this way. Now it seems to be the norm.

Screens and the social isolation of the internet/gaming must be to blame. Otherwise, what's in the water?!

I'm raising a 10 year old who can talk for the country... About computer games. Other than that, he's a passive passenger in all activities, counting down minutes to the start of game-time.
I have no idea what his days at school are like or who are his friends - all conversations lead to gaming somehow.

It's sad 🙁 And at times intensely frustrating.

@Badbadbunny
Agreed
Ds got into serious gaming at 17
Still went on get a good degree.
Some of the books he did read were off the scale serious intellectual reads.
It certainly isn't all bad.

@QueenCamilla

My sons game a LOT, they also play football a LOT, and study a lot when they have too. I’ve never made an issue of it. Fuckinghell they could be out on my local estate driving motorbikes and smoking weed. Personally I would prefer my lads any day of the week. They’re not geeks or as you so kindly put it ‘special’. People need to get some perspective.

There's no point coming on here to say what old women Karen's we are being if your children don't have issues regulating it, which is what I don't like.

Mine has plenty of screen time. It's just never ever enough!

Just scoop them up and lock them away in a cupboard.
I used to work with someone who did this with her kids and they had to 'earn' them back by doing jobs around the house 🙂

I have two gaming obsessed teens.

Mostly minecraft. They co-run a server with a family friend, a quite largely populated server with people from all of the world. The associated discord they manage also hosts a whole heap of other games.

They use programming and problem solving to fix problems add content and improve things on the server endlessly.

They use creativity to come up with events, competitions, and rewards to keep people engaging in the server.

They use de-escalation and conflict resolution skills when their are disagreement within the community. Only today they had a conversation about whether a player should be muted, temp banned or banned to come up with fair consequences to actions.

Their server includes micro transactions and merch, they use business skills to discuss pricing.

They are socialising, maybe not in the traditional sense every day, with people from all over the world.

One will also be outdoors everyday. They love mountain biking and ride through a local woodland pretty much every day, or they are regularly swimming with their mates. But the others whole world revolves around the server. They are doing coding and programming T level at college with the plan to do it in uni next year. The server is giving them a step up and advantage into this career.

Not all gaming is negative. The commitment and success of my kids community impresses me every day. They put in so much time, but also gain so much.

yes I have this with my dds friends too. her friends allowed unsupervised access to anything and everything online but not allowed to get the bus into our local town. absolutely ridiculous.

I hear you OP. Mine are 18 & 14 and I’ve noticed a considerable increase in their usage over the last year, particularly the 18 year old. I think it makes them grouchy, lazy, disengaged from their family etc but they don’t, obviously. I’d like to ban phones at certain times of the day but how do you do that with an 18 year old who pays for her own phone?

It's called a BOOK. Learning does not require a bloody screen.

You'd need a good sized cupboard to fit two teenagers in

This sort of post is so frustrating to me. We are not speaking the same language, or about the same stuff. I think you can see that - and it just feels like a stealth boast.

😅

I've seen the young uns' at work... Honestly, there's nothing quite as empty and devoid of all spark than the young men around 20 years of age. It's like talking to an empty space - nothing comes back, nothing to contribute. All yes-no answers or silence.
When I was their age, you had to be a bit "special" to be this way. Now it seems to be the norm.

couldn’t agree with this more.