I want to downsize but stepson will not move his stuff

[Jacqui189]

I am a widow of 1 year and live alone. I don't need a 4 bed house with a big garden and would like to downsize. Problem is 33 yr old stepson filled the garage and carport with old heavy machinery he planned to use for a business that never got off the ground. I keep on asking him to get rid of it so I can sell the house but he is ignoring me. What can I do?

Get a scrap metal dealer in.

Tell him if it's not gone by X date you will dispose of it

Sell it? Give him reasonable notice in writing / recorded delivery with a timeframe, then sell it if he’s abandoned it.

Do that.

Give him a deadline to shift it with a clear message that it will be collected if he doesn't.

How much is it all worth? I guess you want to make sure you're ok to do that legally though.

Then I risk losing the only member of my husbands family who still keeps in contact with me. He is a nice man but everything is do tomorrow

In email and writing. State you are selling the house. Could he please collect his stuff by X date, or else you will be selling/disposing of the items. It motivates him, but also covers your back legally.

You shouldn't have yo but get it put in a storage container and pay for 1 month, let him know where it is and the details and then he can sort it out.

Don't give in to emotional blackmail. If he is worth keeping in touch with, he would respect your feelings and needs.

Just tell him you are having viewings soon and his stuff needs to be gone before then. And if he doesn't need/want his machinery back, it will be scrapped.

Does he live somewhere big enough to store it?

If so I’d try texting really casually “are you in on Saturday John, could I pop over with some of your bits from the house ? It’s going on the market on x date.”

And then get a removal van to take everything to his. Be apologetic if he says he wasn’t expecting it all

I agree, give him a date. If he makes a fuss, such as nowhere to store it, discuss with him storage solutions (ensure he pays, not yours). If that doesn’t work, give him an ultimatum and say you’ll get a skip to put it in on a certain date.

Say you have people coming to photograph the house and need it out by then. Give him a date for the photo and be firm that it HAS to be out.

Set a date that items have to be moved by .Tell him and email him it's happening as you have to move on .Where I'm likely to differ and be critised is I would find out the cost nearby storage unit and give that as an option for him to store his stuff at his cost.
I've a family member who is the same lovely person but has to be led and absolutely last minute in this type of thing.Good luck

Does he have an interest in the house? (Eg did his dad leave part of it to his children?)
It can be hard to see the last place you knew your dad in be sold, perhaps he won't move it to delay your sale.
very sorry for your loss OP

Why are people suggesting that the OP needs to pay for storage or pay to hire a van to move this 'man- childs' sh*t???

How have you asked him so far OP? I agree with documenting that it needs to be moved by X date and if not, you will get it removed.

Check what it could be worth to sell, otherwise as someone else said, sell for scrap.

Put your house on the market. When it's sold tell him he needs to get it moved before completion. If he doesn't move it by X date, tell him you'll have to get rid of it.

Just put your house up for sale when it’s sold then it’s move it,scrap it or leave it

at the moment it’s all hypothetical that it needs to be move so if he’s I’ll do it tomorrow person he’ll just leave it till he has to move it

Sorry OP but he's NOT a nice man!

He's an irresponsible manchild who is using you and your meekness to get his way.

Tell him you are selling up and downsizing. Tell him he has 30 days to remove his stuff or you will have it taken by scrap metal dealers.

It's YOUR home.

You don’t want to loose him … he isn’t interested in a mutual relationship though otherwise he’d respect your VR request and move his shit out !

My DM had similar.

She sold the house & told him to collect his stuff by x date. He came for it, took what he wanted & she disposed of the rest.

get an official letter from a
lawyer to state the exact equipment. where it is and when you want it removed. they will give you all the advice to include. put in it he is
responsible for court fees and all costs. if not you will
be taking full
ownership and sell
the lot. then move into a one bed home and kick the little brat out who is blatantly disrespecting you.

but......(on a side note i kinda think if he has lost a parent is he maybe grieving and this is maybe something he can't deal with memories or that or what should have happened and he maybe got some emotional issues going
on?

This.

What else would you do?

sorry just re-read the live alone part.
he is taking the piss out of you and knows it. you will
end up having to dispose of it all at your expense by the sounds of him.

Put your house on the market and he will see that you’re going through the process so he has no choice but to move his stuff or he will lose it. That wouldn’t be your fault because it’s just a given that a property has to be emptied when it’s sold.

Its got to be worth gently insisting when you talk to him but I’d imagine that there’s something about his Dads home no longer being there if you sell it that will be difficult for him so from his POV, he has strong incentive to procrastinate. It’s only been a year so understandable.

Im sorry about the death of your husband and the extra stress this is causing

I think the ‘stepson’ but might be blurring the issue though. My own parents gave me a stern “we’re listing the house on [date]. If your stuff isn’t out of the loft by then, it’s going to the tip”. It’s a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to ask. You don’t need to feel guilty about it.