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Original poster

I want to downsize but stepson will not move his stuff

181 replies

Jacqui189 · 22/08/2023 21:36

I am a widow of 1 year and live alone. I don't need a 4 bed house with a big garden and would like to downsize. Problem is 33 yr old stepson filled the garage and carport with old heavy machinery he planned to use for a business that never got off the ground. I keep on asking him to get rid of it so I can sell the house but he is ignoring me. What can I do?

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 23/08/2023 07:36

Does he even want it any more? He might be quite happy for it to be got rid of. You shouldn't have to arrange it of course, but if he won't, then it might be worth it to have it gone.

Zonder · 23/08/2023 07:48

You have to decide whether you want to sell the house or not. That's your choice.

Either you keep the house and he leaves his junk there forever or you force the issue and give him a deadline.

Is any of it worth anything? If he doesn't meet the deadline you could always have someone round to value it.

JanieEyre · 23/08/2023 07:51

Jacqui189 · 22/08/2023 21:39

Then I risk losing the only member of my husbands family who still keeps in contact with me. He is a nice man but everything is do tomorrow

Do you want to be saddled with providing free storage to him forever?

Can you invite him round on the basis that he is to come with a van and you will organise some help for him to clear his stuff out?

BarbaraofSeville · 23/08/2023 07:57

madeinmanc · 22/08/2023 22:17

Perhaps he's holding on a bit to the house and memories of his father by keeping his stuff there?

Well he can buy the OPs house and live in it with his junk precious machinery then.

Otherwise the OP will probably face many decades rattling round a house that's too big for her, struggling to heat it in winter and not getting on with her life while she stores his stuff for free.

And this is nothing to do with him being a stepson. I'd say the same if he was her own son.

user1492757084 · 23/08/2023 08:02

Go ahead with putting the house on the market.
Keep the machinery confined to the garage and ask if you can help SS to tidy it up a bit for inspections.
At worst the house can be sold with the machinery.
Your SS can employ a person (metal trader) at short notice to remove it but he might make more money if he takes photos and sells it on-line. Encourage the later.
Would he be open to a discussion with a person who would like to buy the whole lot if offered for sale as a lot?

user1492757084 · 23/08/2023 08:04

Also make clear that (if you can) the SS can rent a new room from you at your new, smaller house. He might be fearing being homeless.

AngelinaFibres · 23/08/2023 08:04

Jacqui189 · 22/08/2023 21:39

Then I risk losing the only member of my husbands family who still keeps in contact with me. He is a nice man but everything is do tomorrow

He is stopping you doing something you need to do. That is not something a genuinely nice man would do. You said in your Op that he is ignoring you. So he isn't the only member of the family who is talking to you. None of them are in contact. As others have said, write to him with a date for it all to go. Some people need an absolute deadline before they can function.

AllyCart · 23/08/2023 08:07

As usual with MN "advice" 🙄people who know zero about the legalities are diving in with things like "just tell him to move it by next week and if doesn't, sell it for scrap".

Even if OP hated him and didn't care if he cut contact, this would be terrible advice and could well end up with her facing legal action.

DatumTarum · 23/08/2023 08:11

AllyCart · 23/08/2023 08:07

As usual with MN "advice" 🙄people who know zero about the legalities are diving in with things like "just tell him to move it by next week and if doesn't, sell it for scrap".

Even if OP hated him and didn't care if he cut contact, this would be terrible advice and could well end up with her facing legal action.

You're basing this on what?

DatumTarum · 23/08/2023 08:13

Put the house on the market.

Give SS 28 days to move the stuff or you will sell it and send him a check for the proceeds.

He's ignoring you anyway.

So sorry for your loss. Hope you find a beautiful new home and a good future for yourself.

PriamFarrl · 23/08/2023 08:13

I like the idea of getting it put into storage if it’s not gone by x date.

He might be the last link you have to your husband but he does sound like he’s taking the piss.

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 08:15

TomatoSandwiches · 22/08/2023 21:41

You shouldn't have yo but get it put in a storage container and pay for 1 month, let him know where it is and the details and then he can sort it out.

But if OP does that and he doesn’t collect in after one month, surely the storage place will expect her to pay for further months? How does that help?

Newbeeee88 · 23/08/2023 08:16

TomatoSandwiches · 22/08/2023 21:41

You shouldn't have yo but get it put in a storage container and pay for 1 month, let him know where it is and the details and then he can sort it out.

Yeah I kind of agree with this too.

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 08:22

Newbeeee88 · 23/08/2023 08:16

Yeah I kind of agree with this too.

Show quote history

But who would the contact be with? After one month, who would the storage place chase? They wouldn’t just dispose of it for nothing? They would look towards OP for more payments or disposal fees.

I think this is the worst idea personally.

Triflenot · 23/08/2023 08:24

Was it his family home OP?
Sounds as if he feels entitled to use the space. I still have stuff at my parents garage that I think is partly to do with keeping a foothold there.

IncompleteSenten · 23/08/2023 08:24

Your choices are either stay in the house so you can continue to be his storage unit or proceed with the sale and tell him he needs to make arrangements to clear his stuff because the buyers will expect it all gone when the sale is finalised .

If he no longer wants anything to do with you because you can't store his shit any more then that means he was just using you.

MeridianB · 23/08/2023 08:37

Jacqui189 · 22/08/2023 21:39

Then I risk losing the only member of my husbands family who still keeps in contact with me. He is a nice man but everything is do tomorrow

Gently, @Jacqui189 if he's a good person then he will do the right thing.

Please tell him politely that there is now a date for removal and you will need to empty the space yourself if he doesn't. And then please stick to this - even if you have to give the stuff away. I'd do this in writing - maybe even get legal advice if you think you need it - to ensure he can't claim you 'stole' his property.

The other option is to stay in the house so he can use it for storage.

You deserve better.

Proudgypsy · 23/08/2023 08:37

Just sell the house.

Tell him you're completing on X date and if he wants it he had better take it because you will no longer own the house.

Defiantjazz · 23/08/2023 08:43

Tell him you’ll get rid if he doesn’t come and get it?

Doingmybest12 · 23/08/2023 08:43

You've said you are wanting to move. It's not a quick process. Just say you are going ahead, put it in the market and keep him up to date about developments. This will give him a timescale which could be months depending on the market locally or with the buyer. Is he going to inherit anything once it is sold? This might focus his mind.

Taketurn · 23/08/2023 08:45

To be honest if you tell him you're selling the house I cant see why he wouldn't want to move his things? And as you said he's a nice person?

Defiantjazz · 23/08/2023 08:46

Then I risk losing the only member of my husbands family who still keeps in contact with me. He is a nice man but everything is do tomorrow

Well if you sell the house he’ll have to do something. I don’t see how he can get upset about that really.

butterpuffed · 23/08/2023 08:49

Has he ever given you a reason for not moving his stuff , such that he's short of money ?

Andthereyougo · 23/08/2023 08:52

I’m sorry for your loss. Can understand you don’t want to fall out with SS.
Can you invite him for lunch and talk about selling the house. Tell him the agent says the photos and viewing will go better without=all the plant in the garage and carport so it’ll need to be moved before photo day which is X, a month from today. If he doesn’t arrange removal then you’ll have to get formal.

TheFireflies · 23/08/2023 08:52

AllyCart · 23/08/2023 08:07

As usual with MN "advice" 🙄people who know zero about the legalities are diving in with things like "just tell him to move it by next week and if doesn't, sell it for scrap".

Even if OP hated him and didn't care if he cut contact, this would be terrible advice and could well end up with her facing legal action.

OP would at best have to give reasonable notice in writing to collect the listed items and a warning that after this date they will be disposed of, but could then legally sell or otherwise dispose of the items. If sold, she would need to pass the proceeds on to her stepson, less any measurable costs.

It isn’t the clearest and most accessible legislation ever but you’d be looking at the Torts (Interference with Goods) Act 1977.

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